The evolution of a monger and the effect of the PMB - Page 2

Axe · 01-11-2009, 08:57 AM

Before the internet, all a NY'er had to do was pick up a copy of Screw Magazine (other?) and off he went into the Wild Sex Yonder.

A guy who has it in his mind to go down any path will always find a way to do it. It's only a matter of how efficient he is at it.

TheRealStory · 01-11-2009, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axe

Before the internet, all a NY'er had to do was pick up a copy of Screw Magazine (other?) and off he went into the Wild Sex Yonder.

A guy who has it in his mind to go down any path will always find a way to do it. It's only a matter of how efficient he is at it.

I'm not talking about whether a guy is "in" or "out" of the commercial sex market. I'm talking about what happens to him after he is there.

I suppose I've been in the market for 20 years now. From the time I started, to say 2003 (the first 15 years), it was a fairly steady diet of AMPs, phonebook agencies, the back pages of the Advocate in Connecticut, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. For 15 years. So clearly it isn't the internet or the PMB that turned me into a monger.

In the last 5 years I've had BB sex with somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 different girls (perhaps more), one got pregnant, one tried to blackmail me with a fake pregnancy, I've had two different girls try to extort money from me because I stopped being careful, and I've nearly fallen in love twice. Maybe it is just the switch from professional escorts to "non pros" or CL girls or girls from the sugardaddy websites. But I also know that I started looking for things like BB sex because I saw how easy it was for other guys to get, and that the guys I was in the yahoo groups with never seemed to have any negative consequences to report. I'm not saying that it is safe, but I never would have considered it without understanding its prevalence. I never had really even contemplated it before.

Axe · 01-11-2009, 09:27 AM

I follow you, TRS.

I was referring to a man who was already "in". Honestly, how hard is it for a man who wants more sex on the side [pro or non-pro] to find the resources he needs to do it once he's there already?

BB(any flavor) is one of the things that make sex addictive. Period. Even if it's only with your SO. LOL

akm495 · 01-11-2009, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

I'm not talking about whether a guy is "in" or "out" of the commercial sex market. I'm talking about what happens to him after he is there.

I suppose I've been in the market for 20 years now. From the time I started, to say 2003 (the first 15 years), it was a fairly steady diet of AMPs, phonebook agencies, the back pages of the Advocate in Connecticut, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. For 15 years. So clearly it isn't the internet or the PMB that turned me into a monger.

In the last 5 years I've had BB sex with somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 different girls (perhaps more), one got pregnant, one tried to blackmail me with a fake pregnancy, I've had two different girls try to extort money from me because I stopped being careful, and I've nearly fallen in love twice. Maybe it is just the switch from professional escorts to "non pros" or CL girls or girls from the sugardaddy websites. But I also know that I started looking for things like BB sex because I saw how easy it was for other guys to get, and that the guys I was in the yahoo groups with never seemed to have any negative consequences to report. I'm not saying that it is safe, but I never would have considered it without understanding its prevalence. I never had really even contemplated it before.

One has to wonder, if the other people in that Yahoo group, would ever honestly admit to the negative consequences. Did you? People have a hard time admitting their culpability unless force to face it.

Without mentioning STD's, the obvious, you list four other negative impacts to BBFS. It is unfortunate that it comes in hindsight.

paraneurotic · 01-12-2009, 03:55 PM

This is a fascinating thread for me as a relative noob. I got into the game when I found out my wife had been cheating on me for a long while and decided (after being sex-starved forever) to have some fun of my own...and just like TRS it changed my whole mindset to experience how easy it is. Discovering this board was -definitely- my ticket into it; I googled a few key terms of what I wanted and later that day had a fantastic experience. In my case I sincerely doubt I would have gone down this road had it not been for this (and now other) provider's positive reviews on UG. Although, I am constantly thinking about my personal boundaries when setting up appointments, wondering if the right provider would somehow magically coax me into doing something I'd regret later. Currently though I certainly have my limits and have stuck to them. Junior high health class really did make a strong impression. I blame Ron, Nancy and George Sr!

TheRealStory · 01-12-2009, 08:04 PM

Stay grounded. Certain lines, once crossed, are very hard to uncross...

IRVINGTON29 · 01-13-2009, 05:39 PM

Damn is this an A&E Special with Bill Kurtis

I use to love Bill Kurtis when he use do "segments on Asian whores and Brothels and the red light district".

God that was a great show!

son of scissors · 02-03-2009, 09:24 AM

I've blown alot of money on this habit. But it's an addiction

Knowing I can get a bj from a girl without knowing much of anything about her is great. Most women are afraid to express their sexuality because they're afraid of getting labeled for it. You don't have this problem when you pay to play

I've never encountered a virgin and I never will. You know why? Cuz I'm a pervert and they can sense that a mile away.

I'll be 25 this year and I have no plans on stopping. Why? Been hurt too many times to try and have a relationship. And even girls who are down for nsa keep me in that damn friend zone

TheRealStory · 02-06-2009, 07:40 AM

Some big-brotherly advice. You are too young to have "given up" on relationships. You need to realize that in NYC (if that's where you are), people don't want to settle down for many years because they are focused on their careers, living the city life, etc.

When I worked in the burbs, nearly everyone under 30 was married and most already had kids by the time they turned 30. In the city, people don't get married until much later which means that the dating game is very much that until you are in your 30s as a general rule. A game.

I'm not suggesting you stop seeing hookers. But they should supplement your life, not be your only source of female interaction.

Julian123 · 09-01-2009, 12:43 PM

This is a good thread. I learned the hard way that I don't have the stomach for this. I had been visiting that infamous R&T spot on 33rd street off and on for about a decade. Literally maybe went 8-10 times in the past 10 years. Loved the steam room, nice place, good masseuse (have a bit of a hip problem) and quickly got used to the "tug" at the end. Had an SO, who is now my wife. Everyone was doing I thougt so WTF? But earlier this year, I was a little depressed about some things in my life. Decided to treat myself but got waylayed by a sign in the street at a place a few doors up. Had had a pro in Vegas over 15 years ago and was nervous even back then. Vowed not to do it again. Back to this place - I get upstairs and I'm not in Kansas anymore. Get a TS and HJ from a cute Asian girl with a hot (naked) body and ran out of there at the end like a lunatic. My OS is now my wife and I felt like crap for what I did - BUT, I could not get the experience out of my mind. I was back the next week for FS from the same girl. She was good, I left satisfied and justified it in my mind. Because she was a PRO it wasn't cheating. No one will ever find out. They don't know me, I don't know them, etc. I spent a week on vacation with my family and was back the Tuesday after we all went back to work. Couldn't get the girl I wanted so settled for another one. She was older and not as cute but I banged her just the same, then 4 days later I was back, looking for the first girl. The second one I'd had comes in which I don't want and I'm about to leave but they send me another. She's cute and young, so I hit that. It's boring and she has to give me an HJ to finish. After I leave, I'm outta my mind calling my wife looking for her. I didn't go back. I decided that I would take it to the grave. But then I got a little paranoid. Realized that condoms don't protect against herpes completely and get tested. Test turns out positive. Not sure if I had it already or not but - I tell the wife....not everything...just what's necessary. Being a woman and a smart one at that, she goes through my call records and my phone book and recreates my crap like an investigative reporter from CNN. She gets tested and is also positive. I feel like crap because she was negative just a few years ago. I came to the conclusion that in my instance, things were going to well for me, good job, great wife, wonderful kid and yeah, I've been through some shit in my life - but I wanted to act out. Do I regret it - absolutely!! I come back to UG to look at the rationale of others. I am not judging, believe me. Everyone has different reasons and a different story. But I almost lost my family and have had to do some serious soul searching.

msbondteam · 09-20-2009, 07:12 AM

This is a great section.. The stories, the therapy going on here is saving some of you a lot of money and time not sitting on a couch somewhere..

I prefer strippers but guys I work with live for the KMP, and incall girls.. This site has been like a bible along with $$bill's blog. My feeling about this is, if you call yourself a hobbiest, treat it like one, have fun enjoy yourself. But, if you start to think this is something else you are wrong. These girls, (stripper,AMP worker, and Incall) are here for one thing $$. They some the smartest women, they work hard to make money. If they see weakness in a guy like he is falling they will play the fullcourt press. Tell you how much they miss you, how special you are, let's see each other outside of club, spa.. etc..But most of them are just playing you like a great salesperson. They will tell you sad stories, of needing money how they hate the place they work but they need the money. Trust me they are lying. If you think you found Julia Roberts and you are Richard Gere go to another club, or AMP..

I have dated the occasional stripper with the same ending, less money in my pocket and her not returning my calls. But, I knew the risk going into it.. Plus I had a lot of fun so know compliants here.. My boys who I work with have seen the same thing with KMP and AMP. One guy gave a girl 10k to help with her back rent and sick Mom.. Just to have her avoid all his calls and not seeing him anymore..

So enjoy the fun, but remember who you are dealing with when a girl tells you that you are different; and you have that passionate DFK session; don't that as a sign of her affection; I would ask you to read this section again and think about it

jmioffe · 09-25-2009, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marcinny

Thanks for sharing TheRealStory.
...
It almost never works. People want to learn by making their own mistakes.

I enjoyed this thread too. Just wanted to address this quote up earlier in the thread.

I think it's true. I do want to make my own mistakes too. And I think I have been egged on by reading accounts on this board.

But I still found TRS's story helpful, and the subsequent discussion too. That's because I haven't gone as far as TRS, and while I have considered going a little further than I have, I've been on the fence for a good long while.

To read about people who have gone further and had regrets reinforces my reluctance to go further, and perhaps that's a good thing.

Julian123 · 09-28-2009, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msbondteam

This is a great section.. The stories, the therapy going on here is saving some of you a lot of money and time not sitting on a couch somewhere..

I prefer strippers but guys I work with live for the KMP, and incall girls.. This site has been like a bible along with $$bill's blog. My feeling about this is, if you call yourself a hobbiest, treat it like one, have fun enjoy yourself. But, if you start to think this is something else you are wrong. These girls, (stripper,AMP worker, and Incall) are here for one thing $$. They some the smartest women, they work hard to make money. If they see weakness in a guy like he is falling they will play the fullcourt press. Tell you how much they miss you, how special you are, let's see each other outside of club, spa.. etc..But most of them are just playing you like a great salesperson. They will tell you sad stories, of needing money how they hate the place they work but they need the money. Trust me they are lying. If you think you found Julia Roberts and you are Richard Gere go to another club, or AMP..

I have dated the occasional stripper with the same ending, less money in my pocket and her not returning my calls. But, I knew the risk going into it.. Plus I had a lot of fun so know compliants here.. My boys who I work with have seen the same thing with KMP and AMP. One guy gave a girl 10k to help with her back rent and sick Mom.. Just to have her avoid all his calls and not seeing him anymore..

So enjoy the fun, but remember who you are dealing with when a girl tells you that you are different; and you have that passionate DFK session; don't that as a sign of her affection; I would ask you to read this section again and think about it

You're absolutely right! I was feeling like I was losing my mojo, so hear I am asking these girls if I made them come and they're saying "oh yeah, because you're a nice guy" or you got "good d" and so on. I was so stupid I convinced myself the first girl was offering me something special when she asked if I wanted everything. Nothing like your disgusted wife giving YOU the cold hard facts about how many guys they screw a week. But for some the fantasy is the most important thing. Why do we thing these girls advertise the GFE? So we can forget that we paid for it for an hour! Damn..10K!! she probably spent that money on a Prada bag shopping spree....

canthelpit · 09-28-2009, 10:39 AM

Great thread. I feel that i too have gone from the occasional monger, many years ago, to the "addicted" monger of today. It's like a social smoker ending up addicted to the habit. I'm unable to slow down, the only thing that limits me is my leash and my wallet.

Unfortunately I will continue to take these risks until i'm caught or run out of money. and i'm running low on cash lately.

justme · 09-28-2009, 11:46 AM

Sometimes I wonder how things would have gone if I hadn't spent half a decade paying women to fuck me and then spending countless hours discussing the intricacies of paying women to fuck me on PMB's.

What is clear to me is that the path I took, while precarious at times, left me with an understanding of myself and the world that I certainly lacked before. I'm not sure that I had to take the risks that I did to get to the point I'm at now, but I am resolved that the point I am at now is really great.

To the extent that my pursuing commercial sex and interactions with prostitutes was valuable in my development, being able to talk over and refine my experiences by like-minded people was necessary to sort everything out. While it's probably true that PMB's facilitated my commercial sex life, it's all true that PMB's made that life more meaningful and valuable.

Of course it's absolutely critical to stay of an independent mind because groupthink in this world can, as you state, be incredibly dangerous to your well being.

korn · 09-29-2009, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

Very true.

Although I'm not sure that holds for the frequency of encounters. Once I settled into long-term relationships and "sugar baby" style relationships, the frequency of how often I got laid went down to some extent because there is nothing to talk about. Nobody cares what happened the 20th time you fucked someone, especially someone that isn't on the "market" and can't be shared.

But you are right, once the line has moved, it has moved for good. I'm a little smarter about what I do, but I've rationalized away all of the things I used to worry about and it is part of my core being at this point.

Basically what you've described pretty much constitutes sex addiction. You engage in an activity, it begins to overtake your life, and you can't stop. The boards like this one just fuel the addiction for those guys in its grasp. The first thing to do for anyone trying to kick this "habit" is to stop logging in

TheRealStory · 10-10-2009, 02:43 PM

Just when I thought I had it all under control again, I just realized I'm back to having BB sex with 5 different women again. Granted, they are all girls I see on a fairly regular basis, and they are not pros. But still.

Gavvy Cravath · 10-10-2009, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

Just when I thought I had it all under control again, I just realized I'm back to having BB sex with 5 different women again. Granted, they are all girls I see on a fairly regular basis, and they are not pros. But still.

Yeah, bbfs with three chicks for the last few months. And kind of mongering too. Hey, at least I'm not drinking!

Axe · 10-11-2009, 01:25 AM

It happens all the time. The only difference is that some of us are more willing to admit it than others.

I'm ok with condoms for FS, but it still isnt my preference. For a BJ I dont see the point in doing it covered.

I am somewhat picky but who knows? The very first time I was tested for STDs it was because I was getting pain in my bladder and a dull throb in my dick. I thought for sure I caught something serious. I was getting sucked on a regular basis at the time by the same two or three girls. Serial monogomy, right? Turns out some dumb-ass at work had left some of that blue cleaning solution in the coffee pot.

One night I pulled a Brazilian out of a club (lol, during her shift) and brought her to a hotel. When she wouldnt suck me without a condom, I told her to put her clothes on and I drove her ass right back to the club.

Gavvy Cravath · 10-11-2009, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axe

One night I pulled a Brazilian out of a club (lol, during her shift) and brought her to a hotel. When she wouldnt suck me without a condom, I told her to put her clothes on and I drove her ass right back to the club.

Great move.

sanman111 · 10-28-2009, 02:04 AM

Having just read through this thread, it really resonates with me on a few different levels. Up until to years ago, I was the average guy. I hit the bars pretty often, shot some pool, and hit on all the pretty girls I could find. Shortly before my 25th birthday, a buddy called me up. His on and off gf and him had been on the outs, so he spent $400 on a call girl. That was the first time the thought of going to a pro was put in my mind. Until then, it was something old guys or people who couldn't get laid otherwise did. Shortly thereafter, I moved back to the NYC area and discovered UG. Well, that made me a bit more aggressive. My first experience was with the infamous Sasha on long island. After that, my world changed for the better and worse. The more I ventured around the PMB world, the more I learned. First, I began to re-evaluate the series of destructive relationships I had been in. As a guy that had always been a sucker for the "hot girl", I chased these girls around until I got them. All these relationships ended with me being miserable and waking up next to an empty liquor bottle. I have come to realize that I chased these women simply for their looks and liked little else about them. Hobbying has allowed me to realize that sex with a hottie is a phone call and a trip to the atm away. This actually allowed me to meet women that I share deeper connections with and I'm working on healthier relationships. On the other hand, it makes me question whether I will ever again be the faithful man I once considered myself to be. In all likelihood, I will end with a great girl, but still can't see myself spicing life up with the occaisonal hottie.

While I am a newbie and mostly a massage/r&t guy, I have ventured into fs/bbbj territory before. The truth is that it is a little scary because I have a huge loss of sensation from condoms and hate them. I also know the facts about bbbj and especially bbfs and am not ready for that yet. However, after no problems with alcohol, cigarettes, or weed, I have finally found something I could see myself becoming addicted to. We'll see if this place and hobbying is the greatest or worst thing to happen to me. One thing is for sure, I'll never be the same.

marcinny · 10-28-2009, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanman111

Hobbying has allowed me to realize that sex with a hottie is a phone call and a trip to the atm away. This actually allowed me to meet women that I share deeper connections with and I'm working on healthier relationships. On the other hand, it makes me question whether I will ever again be the faithful man I once considered myself to be.

Very well put. FYI these topics have been discussed to death in this board and it's almost never a bad idea to broach them again and again.

paperpusher · 12-04-2009, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanman111

Having just read through this thread, it really resonates with me on a few different levels. Up until to years ago, I was the average guy. I hit the bars pretty often, shot some pool, and hit on all the pretty girls I could find. Shortly before my 25th birthday, a buddy called me up. His on and off gf and him had been on the outs, so he spent $400 on a call girl. That was the first time the thought of going to a pro was put in my mind. Until then, it was something old guys or people who couldn't get laid otherwise did. Shortly thereafter, I moved back to the NYC area and discovered UG. Well, that made me a bit more aggressive. My first experience was with the infamous Sasha on long island. After that, my world changed for the better and worse. The more I ventured around the PMB world, the more I learned. First, I began to re-evaluate the series of destructive relationships I had been in. As a guy that had always been a sucker for the "hot girl", I chased these girls around until I got them. All these relationships ended with me being miserable and waking up next to an empty liquor bottle. I have come to realize that I chased these women simply for their looks and liked little else about them. Hobbying has allowed me to realize that sex with a hottie is a phone call and a trip to the atm away. This actually allowed me to meet women that I share deeper connections with and I'm working on healthier relationships. On the other hand, it makes me question whether I will ever again be the faithful man I once considered myself to be. In all likelihood, I will end with a great girl, but still can't see myself spicing life up with the occaisonal hottie.

While I am a newbie and mostly a massage/r&t guy, I have ventured into fs/bbbj territory before. The truth is that it is a little scary because I have a huge loss of sensation from condoms and hate them. I also know the facts about bbbj and especially bbfs and am not ready for that yet. However, after no problems with alcohol, cigarettes, or weed, I have finally found something I could see myself becoming addicted to. We'll see if this place and hobbying is the greatest or worst thing to happen to me. One thing is for sure, I'll never be the same.

The story about Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit, was meant to warn people away from the life of mongoring. Once you bite that fruit, there is not going back. You see the world differently. The trick is to sample and not go on binges.

sanman111 · 12-05-2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ******

The story about Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit, was meant to warn people away from the life of mongoring. Once you bite that fruit, there is not going back. You see the world differently. The trick is to sample and not go on binges.

Alas, moderation is key to all things. The trick is to find that balance that allows me to maximize my enjoyment in this life rather than have this hobby become my undoing. There is definitely no going back...the knowledge of what is out there will always be in the back of my head.

robnotbob · 12-19-2009, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanman111

Alas, the knowledge of what is out there will always be in the back of my head.

Don't know what else to add...I'm 47, started going to massage places in 1999..my boss treated...TRS sounds alot like me....was a massage only reviewer on ***..I'd NEVER actaully fuck a hooker......got asked to be on a couple of private boards..and had my eyes opened...and from 2000-2005 went batshit...seeing girls just so I could post about it.....more guys than you think do this...guys who are business associates, co-workers and the like. My worlds have overlapped more often than I care to admit. I slowed down alot over the past year or so..mainly because of $$. But i've found a way to enjoy an occassional R&T and thru some introductions have met a non pro in Boston whom I see when on business, a FS massage place in DC (DuPont Circle Therapy..very nice), and a cpl of non pros in NY.

I shudder to think of the amount of money I've spent (admittedly more than some and way less than most) and in my current economic state, shouldn't be doing ANYTHING. I'm married with kids and take many precautions, but have seen too many guys (here and IRL) get caught by being careless.

And yet, I come on here, go to some underground places, see "friends" and enjoy myself. Sometimes feeling guilty, always rationalizing away my behavior.

TheRealStory · 02-16-2010, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robnotbob

Don't know what else to add...I'm 47, started going to massage places in 1999..my boss treated...TRS sounds alot like me....was a massage only reviewer on ***..I'd NEVER actaully fuck a hooker......got asked to be on a couple of private boards..and had my eyes opened...and from 2000-2005 went batshit...seeing girls just so I could post about it.....more guys than you think do this...guys who are business associates, co-workers and the like. My worlds have overlapped more often than I care to admit. I slowed down alot over the past year or so..mainly because of $$. But i've found a way to enjoy an occassional R&T and thru some introductions have met a non pro in Boston whom I see when on business, a FS massage place in DC (DuPont Circle Therapy..very nice), and a cpl of non pros in NY.

I shudder to think of the amount of money I've spent (admittedly more than some and way less than most) and in my current economic state, shouldn't be doing ANYTHING. I'm married with kids and take many precautions, but have seen too many guys (here and IRL) get caught by being careless.

And yet, I come on here, go to some underground places, see "friends" and enjoy myself. Sometimes feeling guilty, always rationalizing away my behavior.

First, I would have never guessed you were 47. You look to be about 40.

Second, we all rationalize our behavior. Belonging to places like this make it much easier. You can always say "At least I'm not as bad as THAT guy".

01-11-2009, 08:57 AM	#31
Axe Gold Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 3,552 vCash: 500	Before the internet, all a NY'er had to do was pick up a copy of Screw Magazine (other?) and off he went into the Wild Sex Yonder. A guy who has it in his mind to go down any path will always find a way to do it. It's only a matter of how efficient he is at it. Last edited by Axe : 01-11-2009 at 08:59 AM.

09-20-2009, 07:12 AM	#41
msbondteam Bronze Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 21 vCash: 500	my two cents This is a great section.. The stories, the therapy going on here is saving some of you a lot of money and time not sitting on a couch somewhere.. I prefer strippers but guys I work with live for the KMP, and incall girls.. This site has been like a bible along with $$bill's blog. My feeling about this is, if you call yourself a hobbiest, treat it like one, have fun enjoy yourself. But, if you start to think this is something else you are wrong. These girls, (stripper,AMP worker, and Incall) are here for one thing $$. They some the smartest women, they work hard to make money. If they see weakness in a guy like he is falling they will play the fullcourt press. Tell you how much they miss you, how special you are, let's see each other outside of club, spa.. etc..But most of them are just playing you like a great salesperson. They will tell you sad stories, of needing money how they hate the place they work but they need the money. Trust me they are lying. If you think you found Julia Roberts and you are Richard Gere go to another club, or AMP.. I have dated the occasional stripper with the same ending, less money in my pocket and her not returning my calls. But, I knew the risk going into it.. Plus I had a lot of fun so know compliants here.. My boys who I work with have seen the same thing with KMP and AMP. One guy gave a girl 10k to help with her back rent and sick Mom.. Just to have her avoid all his calls and not seeing him anymore.. So enjoy the fun, but remember who you are dealing with when a girl tells you that you are different; and you have that passionate DFK session; don't that as a sign of her affection; I would ask you to read this section again and think about it

01-11-2009, 09:27 AM	#33
Axe Gold Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 3,552 vCash: 500	I follow you, TRS. I was referring to a man who was already "in". Honestly, how hard is it for a man who wants more sex on the side [pro or non-pro] to find the resources he needs to do it once he's there already? BB(any flavor) is one of the things that make sex addictive. Period. Even if it's only with your SO. LOL

01-12-2009, 03:55 PM	#35
paraneurotic Bronze Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 28 vCash: 500	This is a fascinating thread for me as a relative noob. I got into the game when I found out my wife had been cheating on me for a long while and decided (after being sex-starved forever) to have some fun of my own...and just like TRS it changed my whole mindset to experience how easy it is. Discovering this board was -definitely- my ticket into it; I googled a few key terms of what I wanted and later that day had a fantastic experience. In my case I sincerely doubt I would have gone down this road had it not been for this (and now other) provider's positive reviews on UG. Although, I am constantly thinking about my personal boundaries when setting up appointments, wondering if the right provider would somehow magically coax me into doing something I'd regret later. Currently though I certainly have my limits and have stuck to them. Junior high health class really did make a strong impression. I blame Ron, Nancy and George Sr!

01-12-2009, 08:04 PM	#36
TheRealStory Bronze Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 88 vCash: 500	Stay grounded. Certain lines, once crossed, are very hard to uncross...

01-13-2009, 05:39 PM	#37
IRVINGTON29 Gold Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 832 vCash: 500	Damn is this an A&E Special with Bill Kurtis I use to love Bill Kurtis when he use do "segments on Asian whores and Brothels and the red light district". God that was a great show!

02-03-2009, 09:24 AM	#38
son of scissors Bronze Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 30 vCash: 500	I've blown alot of money on this habit. But it's an addiction Knowing I can get a bj from a girl without knowing much of anything about her is great. Most women are afraid to express their sexuality because they're afraid of getting labeled for it. You don't have this problem when you pay to play I've never encountered a virgin and I never will. You know why? Cuz I'm a pervert and they can sense that a mile away. I'll be 25 this year and I have no plans on stopping. Why? Been hurt too many times to try and have a relationship. And even girls who are down for nsa keep me in that damn friend zone

02-06-2009, 07:40 AM	#39
TheRealStory Bronze Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 88 vCash: 500	Some big-brotherly advice. You are too young to have "given up" on relationships. You need to realize that in NYC (if that's where you are), people don't want to settle down for many years because they are focused on their careers, living the city life, etc. When I worked in the burbs, nearly everyone under 30 was married and most already had kids by the time they turned 30. In the city, people don't get married until much later which means that the dating game is very much that until you are in your 30s as a general rule. A game. I'm not suggesting you stop seeing hookers. But they should supplement your life, not be your only source of female interaction.

09-01-2009, 12:43 PM	#40
Julian123 Bronze Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 25 vCash: 500	This is a good thread. I learned the hard way that I don't have the stomach for this. I had been visiting that infamous R&T spot on 33rd street off and on for about a decade. Literally maybe went 8-10 times in the past 10 years. Loved the steam room, nice place, good masseuse (have a bit of a hip problem) and quickly got used to the "tug" at the end. Had an SO, who is now my wife. Everyone was doing I thougt so WTF? But earlier this year, I was a little depressed about some things in my life. Decided to treat myself but got waylayed by a sign in the street at a place a few doors up. Had had a pro in Vegas over 15 years ago and was nervous even back then. Vowed not to do it again. Back to this place - I get upstairs and I'm not in Kansas anymore. Get a TS and HJ from a cute Asian girl with a hot (naked) body and ran out of there at the end like a lunatic. My OS is now my wife and I felt like crap for what I did - BUT, I could not get the experience out of my mind. I was back the next week for FS from the same girl. She was good, I left satisfied and justified it in my mind. Because she was a PRO it wasn't cheating. No one will ever find out. They don't know me, I don't know them, etc. I spent a week on vacation with my family and was back the Tuesday after we all went back to work. Couldn't get the girl I wanted so settled for another one. She was older and not as cute but I banged her just the same, then 4 days later I was back, looking for the first girl. The second one I'd had comes in which I don't want and I'm about to leave but they send me another. She's cute and young, so I hit that. It's boring and she has to give me an HJ to finish. After I leave, I'm outta my mind calling my wife looking for her. I didn't go back. I decided that I would take it to the grave. But then I got a little paranoid. Realized that condoms don't protect against herpes completely and get tested. Test turns out positive. Not sure if I had it already or not but - I tell the wife....not everything...just what's necessary. Being a woman and a smart one at that, she goes through my call records and my phone book and recreates my crap like an investigative reporter from CNN. She gets tested and is also positive. I feel like crap because she was negative just a few years ago. I came to the conclusion that in my instance, things were going to well for me, good job, great wife, wonderful kid and yeah, I've been through some shit in my life - but I wanted to act out. Do I regret it - absolutely!! I come back to UG to look at the rationale of others. I am not judging, believe me. Everyone has different reasons and a different story. But I almost lost my family and have had to do some serious soul searching.

09-28-2009, 10:39 AM	#44
canthelpit Gold Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,555 vCash: 500	Great thread. I feel that i too have gone from the occasional monger, many years ago, to the "addicted" monger of today. It's like a social smoker ending up addicted to the habit. I'm unable to slow down, the only thing that limits me is my leash and my wallet. Unfortunately I will continue to take these risks until i'm caught or run out of money. and i'm running low on cash lately.

09-28-2009, 11:46 AM	#45
justme pop and click tainted Vinyl ( is dead ) Join Date: Dec 2000 Posts: 9,369 vCash: 500	Sometimes I wonder how things would have gone if I hadn't spent half a decade paying women to fuck me and then spending countless hours discussing the intricacies of paying women to fuck me on PMB's. What is clear to me is that the path I took, while precarious at times, left me with an understanding of myself and the world that I certainly lacked before. I'm not sure that I had to take the risks that I did to get to the point I'm at now, but I am resolved that the point I am at now is really great. To the extent that my pursuing commercial sex and interactions with prostitutes was valuable in my development, being able to talk over and refine my experiences by like-minded people was necessary to sort everything out. While it's probably true that PMB's facilitated my commercial sex life, it's all true that PMB's made that life more meaningful and valuable. Of course it's absolutely critical to stay of an independent mind because groupthink in this world can, as you state, be incredibly dangerous to your well being.

10-10-2009, 02:43 PM	#47
TheRealStory Bronze Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 88 vCash: 500	Just when I thought I had it all under control again, I just realized I'm back to having BB sex with 5 different women again. Granted, they are all girls I see on a fairly regular basis, and they are not pros. But still.

10-11-2009, 01:25 AM	#49
Axe Gold Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 3,552 vCash: 500	It happens all the time. The only difference is that some of us are more willing to admit it than others. I'm ok with condoms for FS, but it still isnt my preference. For a BJ I dont see the point in doing it covered. I am somewhat picky but who knows? The very first time I was tested for STDs it was because I was getting pain in my bladder and a dull throb in my dick. I thought for sure I caught something serious. I was getting sucked on a regular basis at the time by the same two or three girls. Serial monogomy, right? Turns out some dumb-ass at work had left some of that blue cleaning solution in the coffee pot. One night I pulled a Brazilian out of a club (lol, during her shift) and brought her to a hotel. When she wouldnt suck me without a condom, I told her to put her clothes on and I drove her ass right back to the club.

10-28-2009, 02:04 AM	#51
sanman111 Bronze Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 30 vCash: 500	Having just read through this thread, it really resonates with me on a few different levels. Up until to years ago, I was the average guy. I hit the bars pretty often, shot some pool, and hit on all the pretty girls I could find. Shortly before my 25th birthday, a buddy called me up. His on and off gf and him had been on the outs, so he spent $400 on a call girl. That was the first time the thought of going to a pro was put in my mind. Until then, it was something old guys or people who couldn't get laid otherwise did. Shortly thereafter, I moved back to the NYC area and discovered UG. Well, that made me a bit more aggressive. My first experience was with the infamous Sasha on long island. After that, my world changed for the better and worse. The more I ventured around the PMB world, the more I learned. First, I began to re-evaluate the series of destructive relationships I had been in. As a guy that had always been a sucker for the "hot girl", I chased these girls around until I got them. All these relationships ended with me being miserable and waking up next to an empty liquor bottle. I have come to realize that I chased these women simply for their looks and liked little else about them. Hobbying has allowed me to realize that sex with a hottie is a phone call and a trip to the atm away. This actually allowed me to meet women that I share deeper connections with and I'm working on healthier relationships. On the other hand, it makes me question whether I will ever again be the faithful man I once considered myself to be. In all likelihood, I will end with a great girl, but still can't see myself spicing life up with the occaisonal hottie. While I am a newbie and mostly a massage/r&t guy, I have ventured into fs/bbbj territory before. The truth is that it is a little scary because I have a huge loss of sensation from condoms and hate them. I also know the facts about bbbj and especially bbfs and am not ready for that yet. However, after no problems with alcohol, cigarettes, or weed, I have finally found something I could see myself becoming addicted to. We'll see if this place and hobbying is the greatest or worst thing to happen to me. One thing is for sure, I'll never be the same.