Dont look too hard, some may not like what they see

[paperpusher]

Originally Posted by jerry65

Its like a marriage. Starts off all hot and heavy with the sex, theres so much happiness, then as the reality of life sinks in, the bills, the every day daily routine, over and over again, people seek out new ways to be happy again, to find some excitement. Divorce is a typical way, but for me personally, , I only want the sex part with a young woman. I want it to continue yearly, and thats a very selfish attitude, but I think most men or women that frequent other sex partners besides their spouses, are just selfish people, regardless of how they claim to be in sexless marriages. Noone guaranteed a life of great sex when they decided to be with that one person.
Its all about the kindling of new excitement, finding new ways to feel good again, and if sex makes a person feel good, well, self medication, I guess, but simply just some happiness.(but agree with your post all the way)

A good % of the mongers here (myself included) are not necessarily doing this for the sex, but the adrenaline rush. There is no way to reproduce it within a marraige unless you engage in swinging. And yes it may be selfish, but with a good job, good family, and decent life, there still is a void at times and yes it does furfill it. Could I quit? Probably, but not easy to do after 20 years of it. And I know the quality of life would suffer, sad but true.

The women that I played with in the AMP circle, seem to have a hard time with it. They want the faster money, but seems to eat at them. But few seem to be able to quit on their own, because they do not want work long hours in nail saloons/restaurants. They knowly made their deal with the devil. I have offered to help them with real jobs. Not one was seriously interested.

[nychelsea]

This is an interesting thread, to be sure. I especially agree with Thorn's comments about the adrenilin (sp) rush and the sense of adventure that goes with "mongering." The good thing is that our participation is strictly voluntary, and unless one has sex addiction problems, it is easy to stop. There are times when I don't look at UG, Eros, or any of the other sites. I can ignore *****s sent to me or phone calls from the ladies. Also, when I am on one of my lengthy business trips overseas, it is easy to take a break from the ladies.

I'm still not sure what I am looking for after years in the pursuit but I know that if I have a very good experience with a lady, that I will want to come back for more (BK is a good example - who wouldn't want to see her again and again!). Same goes for Emily and Jillian - I especially appreciate their contributions to UG. Now if there was only some way to meet Masquerade (other than at her low mileage sc!).

Enjoy,

Chels

[nychelsea]

Thorn's observations about leading a double life are also spot on. I continue to have a problem with that - so it probably is a good thing in that it keeps me from spending more time and money on mongering!

Thorn's observations are always worth reading. He is the MAN! (along with JL and Wanderer).

Enjoy,

Chels

[Thorn]

Originally Posted by nychelsea

Thorn's observations are always worth reading. He is the MAN! (along with JL and Wanderer).

I have a bumper sticker on my ass that says, "Don't follow me. I'm lost."

Though I truly appreciate that compliment. Thanks.

[jerry65]

holiday season, and things heat up.
Sugarbaby:Hey Jerry, whut u been up two lately?
Me:ah, nada, just hanging
SB:ya wanna hang out
me:when, you mean like hook up again?
SB:yeah, baby,
Me: what happenned to the other guy
SB:nah, I only saw hijm once, he wasnt my type
Me: Im youre type?
SB: yeah, no, I mean ya know I get along with you good, I wasnt happy with him
Me: I can do the same rates as before
SB: yeah, things are bad all over I guess
Me: No, thats not it, its just that I found someone Im not giving up on to see you
SB: so youre gonna see two of us
Me: No, shes a whore
SBh, ok, call me soon.

[xango_de_sade]

Thorn, long time no see

You say you don't have any blinders on, but I submit that you still do.

Think for a moment about how fucked up normal life is. How MARRIAGE as an institution is even nastier and leads to much of the same shit or worse. The world as a WHOLE is full of people with their heads not put on straight, and I think society itself, and maybe even civilization itself is at the root of it.

NYPD statistics say that 27% of all homicides in the five boroughs are due to domestic disputes. Especially as a women, monogamous relationships can often be more dangerous than p4p!!!

As for people being abused as children, at least 1/4 of the population as a whole have gone through it, maybe more. I suspect it may be even as much as 1/2 of us really, people just don't talk about that shit openly, even on internet forums :P

I could run down a list of ordinary everyday things we all do (or almost all of us) that are absolutely TOXIC and yet we do them anyway.

And I actually believe being a good whore is something extremely special, even SPIRITUAL. To be sure, it's psychologically difficult to be indiscriminate in who gets intimate with you, it's very hard on the ego, but the annihilation of the ego is something many spiritually-minded persons and groups of people have strived for over the aeons.

I would submit that sex workers and their customers are among the people on Earth who are enlightened enough to know that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and feel they need to step out of the mainstream.

And lastly, my current gf is a sex worker and she is the ONLY girl I have ever been with, including my ex, who has NOT been sexually abused as a child. And none of them were pros, with only one other exception.

[Bandaid]

Originally Posted by Thorn

I'd argue that it is, for many on both sides of the equation, as much about self-medication as self-satisfaction.

The problem with self-medication is that it almost as often as not runs away from the person doing it. They don't intend it to be the cause of a new problem. Quite the contrary they hope it to be the cure, or at least temporary easement, of another problem.

As I suggested, that isn't how it works out most of the time though, is it?

Gospel truth, Thorn. Medication for what? Loneliness, depression, stress, frustration. Plain horniness, too, of course, but usually something more. Those who don't have an outlet for their sexual wants other than paying for it have to eat shit for their self-esteem and resent their "pushers" - the women - who never seem to give what the man really wants.

What's crazy about all of it is that, even knowing all this, (and thanks, Jerry) is that if I had the bucks I'd get into a sugar daddy situation if I could. How stupid am I? But I'm not alone.

[curious]

Originally Posted by Bandaid

Gospel truth, Thorn. Medication for what? Loneliness, depression, stress, frustration. Plain horniness, too, of course, but usually something more. Those who don't have an outlet for their sexual wants other than paying for it have to eat shit for their self-esteem and resent their "pushers" - the women - who never seem to give what the man really wants.

What's crazy about all of it is that, even knowing all this, (and thanks, Jerry) is that if I had the bucks I'd get into a sugar daddy situation if I could. How stupid am I? But I'm not alone.

Ditto.

Although I don't resent my favorite pushers yet, in numbers terms, the majority of women I've seen through this activity really didn't interest me at all. It was an enticing photo and my hope of something worthwhile.

Thankfully (?) I find a good one now and then and those I see every chance I get.

[curious]

Originally Posted by xango_de_sade

Thorn, long time no see

...

And I actually believe being a good whore is something extremely special, even SPIRITUAL. To be sure, it's psychologically difficult to be indiscriminate in who gets intimate with you, it's very hard on the ego, but the annihilation of the ego is something many spiritually-minded persons and groups of people have strived for over the aeons.

I would submit that sex workers and their customers are among the people on Earth who are enlightened enough to know that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and feel they need to step out of the mainstream.
...

Wow, how did I miss this? I've come around to a similar point of view. If anything, the feelings I have during play with my favorite are so strong, and so long-lasting (I have real trouble staying out of life), that it's almost certainly destroying the 'relationship' (with her).

edit: I'm trying to find others so that I can give my fav some space; hopefully it isn't too late to salvage what I used to have.

[xango_de_sade]

One of these days I'll put my whole story out on here. Slinky I think knows bits and piece of it. I'm waiting to see how this next chapter will resolve frankly :P

[lightweight]

Originally Posted by ******

A good % of the mongers here (myself included) are not necessarily doing this for the sex, but the adrenaline rush. There is no way to reproduce it within a marraige unless you engage in swinging. And yes it may be selfish, but with a good job, good family, and decent life, there still is a void at times and yes it does furfill it. Could I quit? Probably, but not easy to do after 20 years of it. And I know the quality of life would suffer, sad but true.

The women that I played with in the AMP circle, seem to have a hard time with it. They want the faster money, but seems to eat at them. But few seem to be able to quit on their own, because they do not want work long hours in nail saloons/restaurants. They knowly made their deal with the devil. I have offered to help them with real jobs. Not one was seriously interested.

A little to do with the sex part and the rush like you said. I like the variety. If you have a family, you do not have time to go out and wine and dine these women and take them out and spend all this money on them. It is easier, better, disceet to just pay for it.

[curious]

Originally Posted by ******

...it may be selfish, but with a good job, good family, and decent life, there still is a void at times and yes it does furfill it. ...

for spotting this great Freudian slip 4 months ago.

(No offense intended, ******.)