For all those looking for Tampa/Orlando recommendations....

[demigawd]

I just returned from nearly a month in Orlando, with lots of interesting information to report. I remember before my trip here that I would look all over this board for information about what the scene in Orlando was like and for any recommendations for women. Sadly, I found almost nothing. So I decided to take one (well, 10, really) for the team and post all of my extensive findings here, and it should appeal to all budgets and appetites on the board.

In general, I've found the Orlando scene to be much the opposite for the NYC scene (where I'm from). While NYC has an extensive incall/outcall scene, which is so competitive that it's fairly easy to find high quality for $.5 or $$, NYC's street scene is pretty terrible. For the most part, you'll find either a)$20 crack whores, who I'd be scared to go near or b)Streetwalkers who charge $.5 or even more, and don't look significantly better than the women in group a). They mainly appeal to tourists, those who aren't in the know.

Orlando, on the other hand doesn't have nearly as many incall/outcall spots, most of them aren't of particularly high quality, and the going rate is $$$. You'll actually be *lucky* to find someone for less than $$.75, unless you had a fat chick fetish. Of the ones I've been with for that price point, I can only honestly recommend one. But then I discovered the joys of the Orlando street scene, which is probably the best and most extensive I've seen in my life (disclaimer: I've never been to Hollywood or Vegas).

One thing - the Orlando/Tampa scene has been on the decline lately, largely because the LE presence has increased tremendously. They have pretty strict screening standards, and a number of them require *local* references, which means you have to see these girls in a certain order. It's crazy, but the LE really is out in force.


I'll start with the incall/outcall scene. I've been with the following women:

Vanity (outcall, sometimes incall)- the first, but perhaps the strangest experience I had here in Orlando. She's really, really gorgeous (she put on some weight since her pictures, or is just larger in person), and quite friendly too. She's also *very* straightforward, and she has a classy look that betrays her true nature - a total freak. She'll just casually toss out these really sexual references that make you go, "Whoa", in a good way. She loves DFK, gives a really good BBBJ and makes good use of her tongue. She's vocal in a realistic way, and she has a lot of energy. She loves DATY...more than sex, actually, and encourages a lot of it. So what's so strange, you ask? Well, we clicked right away, and we spent a lot of time just talking. We spent a lot of time on foreplay and everything else. Afterward, she told me her real name, gave me her home number, invited me to a wedding, got dressed and ran out of hotel at warp speed, taking a couple of bottles of wine and vodka....but leaving the money. I called her, e-mailed her and everything, but she didn't want the money. Strange. At any rate, I don't have her contact info or website handy, but she's $300 for the hour and she's found on eros-tampa, and reviewed on *** and theeroticreview.com. She's about 5'5/125, about a D, or larger appears to be either of latina or trinidadian origin. Beautifully exotic and striking features and an infectuous laugh.

**** (incall)- ok, NOT a good experience. She talks *waaaaay* too much and was sorta funny looking (I mean, I knew from her pictures that she wasn't that hot but she had a really petite and tight body in her pics that really had me interested. She doesn't have a chin or something - can't quite place what it is, but she doesn't look entirely human. Not turned out here...but she still had a great body, and I figured that if I kept most sexual contact from behind that I'd be ok. I tried to DATY but....AAAAARGH, the **stench**. It was possibly the worst smelling netherregion I've ever encountered. It was awful, and I instantly went soft. So I tried to encourage her to try her oral skills, and she kept talking while doing it. And I don't mean sexual talk, I mean stuff like, "Oh, I always enjoyed doing this, *lick* but I sometimes get scared that he'll cum when I'm not prepared, *gulp* like this one time, when I was back in Alabama, I met this guy who was really, *lick* really nice and everything and...*slurp* gee, I miss Alabama. Ever been there? No, well, anyway...." And she looked for every opportunity to stop, "You there yet, honey?" "You ready?". It was just....bleh. Had to fantasize about Vanity to finally get off. Not at all worth the $250. She's reviewed and found in the same places. She's 5'4, about 100 lbs with D chest. Like I said, great body, but that's about where the up side ends.

Lori (outcall)- Probably the best overall experience. She really does it all, and she's pretty hot. She's probably the ideal woman for guys who are really into blondes. I had a blonde thing because I was in Florida, so I was really into her. She's a little anal about screening, though, so I had to have a reference first. I actually contacted her before I contacted Vanity, but she told me she needed a reference, then I contacted her and gave her Vanity as a reference and found out that she hates Vanity and rejected the reference, so had to contact her again after seeing ****, then she finally agreed to see me. The experience itself was pretty straightforward - BBBJ, DATY, good kissing - she was a really nice girl. And she had a nice, petite body, which is what I'm really into. Overall, despite the hoops I had to jump though, it was probably the best incall/outcall experience I had. She's about 5'2"/110 C cups. $300. Pretty face - slightly rod stewartish nose, but that's ok :). She's also found and reviewed in the same places - they all are, really.

Samantha (incall)- Pretty much a mirror image experience of Lori. She's a little bit taller (about 5'6"), a little less shapely and probably a very slighly less comfortable with her job (I found out later it's because she recently fell in love and was contemplating retirement from the business. So she may have been better in the past, and she may yet be better in the future when her heart is inevitably broken, but for now Lori is a better option and Samantha may well be off the market entirely by now.

I made contact with Missy, Tori and Raechel (actual spelling) too, as I heard great things about them. I made an appointment with Raechel, but she stood me up and never returned my follow up phone calls or e-mail, which I find rude, so I wouldn't recommend her. However, I read a political rant she wrote about the whole 911 thing, which shows that she's a fairly smart lady. And I've heard good things about her, so she may yet be worth considering. Just didn't work out for me. Missy is really hot from her pics and also has good reviews. She is about 5'0/95lbs - which is a dream come true to me. Unfortunately, my schedule clashed with both hers and Tori's. Shame, because Missy and Tori are two of the most highly regarded ladies in the Orlando/Tampa area.

Out of space, another thread coming...

[demigawd]

Continued...

Anna of Tampa - Hmm, the closest I can get to a direct comparison would be some of the older women at Julie's. You know, like Domino. Really homely looking....but really freaky. That's Anna. She's under the radar now, so she'll only see guys who are outside of Florida (or say they are). Her regular website is down now, but she has a yahoo profile. Just look up Anna of Tampa. She offers what she calls the PSE, which I'd have to agree with. She has a really pretty face, but she's woefully out of shape. I like thin, petite girls, but Anna was so highly regarded that I threw reasoning out the window. She is really responsive to your needs, and lets you live out all of your nasty little fantasies - and you can videotape or photograph them. She enourages it, and if she likes you she'll ask for permission to include you in her upcoming porno site she's building. She gives a great, wet, nasty BBBJ which I photographed and will turn me on for months. She came multiple times, we had sex all over her hotel, pretty much anywhere we could think (bed, shower, hottub, chair in front of a webcam, etc.) And she knows how to push you to the edge without pushing you over - which makes it extended even further. I don't often make full use of the hour that I pay for, but she definitely got a full hour out of me - and then some. So I was getting dressed and ready to go after a few minutes in the hottub with her, and her boyfriend just pops in out of nowhere. She starts servicing him, then tosses me a condom and says he wants to watch me fuck her while she pleasures him. Now, it wasn't exactly my ideal arrangement for my first threesome, since I'd much rather two women than another guy. But hey, I got an extra hour out of it, so what the hell? They ended up videotaping it and she wants to add it to her website, which won't do much for my political career, but maybe I'll get free membership out of it, so what the hell? We just ended up chilling out the rest of the day, and she took me to my first swingers club (which is another story entirely - yowza). After that, we went to a strip club where we stayed until the wee hours of the morning. That had to be the most sexually intense 24 hours of my life - about 15+ orgasms between six women, for $275. The only thing that made is short of ideal was that I wasn't as physically attracted to her as I would have liked. She's probably around 33, about 5'4"/145lbs. She's shapely, but a bit too jiggly and saggy around the body for my tastes. She definitely had the body of a someone in her mid-thirties who had a couple of kids and spends too much time watching talk shows. On a couple of occassions, I had to go back to fantasizing about Vanity so get the job done. The looming presence of the boyfriend didn't help. Of course, I really can't say it was a bad experience, though - it wasn't, not by a long shot. She introduced me to threesomes, swinger sex, "hands on" strip clubs, and most importantly - Orange Blossom Trail, the street scene capital of Orlando, and possibly the entire Southeast.

Now, a general breakdown of the area - Orange Blossom Trail is a huge street, which appears to run the length of Orlando and beyond. I'm not sure what the northernmost point is, but I know it runs south into Kissimmee before finally terminating, and for much of the strech, there are streetwalkers of ***wildly*** varying quality. However, after discovering the joys of that scene, I realized that I would never use an incall/outcall service again in Orlando.

Orange Blosson Trail runs pretty much parallel to I4, so anywhere you get off on I4, if you travel East you'll run into OBT. While you can find some action pretty much anywhere along the trail, you'll find the bulk of it North of OBT at the I4 Seaworld exit (drive east from Seaworld and you'll run right into the beginning of the street scene). So start there and just drive North. I'd say the good stretch of it goes on for about 10 miles or so, and there definitely seems to be a logical layout for it. I've found that the southernmost part pretty much consists of trailer chicks living out of motels and just looking for enough to pay for another day there, some food and a hit of E or crystal meth. They'll charge you according to what they think your income is, but they'll pretty much all accept $40 for a BJ (some cover; most don't) and $60 for FS, but try to get a tip out of you. If you opt for FS, they'll also make you drive to the nearest store to get them cigerettes, beer and either condoms or a douche depending on whether you opt for CFS or BBFS.

Most of the girls in that area are cute, in a trailer blonde sort of way. A number of them are ********, though a few actually work with their mothers, so for the most part, most of the girls out there are either really young or quite old. On a scale of 1-10, with Vanity being a 9, Samantha/Lori being an 8, Anna being a 5 and **** being a 6 (3 in the face, 9 in the body), I'd probably put of the girls I saw at the Southern point of that area at around a 6, with two 7s there. One girl in particular gave one of the best BBBJTC that I've ever had. It was all I asked for, but she said she got so horny listening to me that she was willing to have sex with me for free. I would have done it, but she didn't have a condom on her and I didn't trust the BBFS thing, so I told her I'd take a raincheck. Then she gave me some speech about how she's not worried about getting pregnant because she knows that I'd be a good father and how badly she wants me to take her away from the area, and what a good wife she'd make, etc. Weird, man. At any rate, I hooked up with four girls from this area during the next few days, as it's probably the best value for the quality overall. They really seemed to get into the sex, which was I suppose some sort of escapist thing for them. They all were pretty much willing to give me whatever I wanted. Best of all, since most of them lived out of their local motels, I didn't have to pay for one, and I wasn't confined to the car. Once I even had a threesome with the girl and her roomie for only $100. My first two girl threesome, which made up for the Anna experience! They were both getting high during the sex, which made it even weirder, but oh well.

A couple of miles north, the quality improves dramatically, but so does the price, the chooosiness of the *women* and most importantly, the LE presence. The best time to pick up someone in that area is during the week. The weekend is TERRIBLE, because there are literally LE patrolling that street every 30 seconds. Any time I slowed down my car to try to talk to one of the girls, I saw a police car slow down and flash a light into my car. Warning shot. There had to have been a 4:1 girl/LE car ratio in that area, easily. The only chance you have is to practice the quick U-turn/pick up. You to be able to do it within 20 seconds, or you're screwed.

If you DO pull it off, however, you'll be treated to some really great deals. In fact, one of the most beautiful working girls I've ever seen - and I mean EVER, even compared to the $500 girls was out on the street. A perfect 10. Apparently, it's common practice for strippers in the area to come out when the clubs close at around 2am or so and work the corners for awhile. So this absolutely gorgeous indian girl comes out, about 4'11/95lbs, BEAUTIFUL shape. She was the closest thing I've ever seen in real life to my ideal physical woman. I was just completely taken. We talked for a bit along the way, and she was $60 for BBBJ, $100 for FS plus the standard douche/condom,beer,cigs package, which I gladly got for her. The sex was incredible, or maybe it just seemed that way because I was so attracted to her. She also gave me the "Take me away from this madness speech", so, um, I'm flying her up to NYC. I know, I know...really bad. But god, I'm SO into her...

Uh, at any rate, most of the women in that particular two mile stretch (pretty much, whereever the strip clubs are) were hot - like 7 - 9 hot. They were in their little stripper outfits, had the irrestible sweat/heavy perfume combination scent. It was an incredibly striking combination. But they are very particular with whom they'll see. Outside of the indian girl, none of the other girls there would stop for me. I'm not sure if it's because I'm young and thus didn't fit the "john type", if I looked like a cop, because I'm black, or some combination of the three, but they just wouldn't give me the time of day. So I can't comment on any of the other ones. But that's *the* spot to get the escort-quality girls for $ or less.

After that, it gets a little seedy. For about a mile or so from there you'll head into trannie territory. I accidentally picked up one because she looked so incredibly hot, but my Spider-sense almost immediately went off when she got into the car, so I had to come up with an excuse to kick her out - thank goodness for the auto-ring feature on my cell phone. Yeah, they're trannies alright - but they're really well done trannies if you're into that sort of thing.

[demigawd]

...continued...

For another mile or so, it's more or less hit or miss as the neighborhood goes into transition from white trash territory to black trash territory. Then, it's an almost striking mirror image of the same demographic/quality breakdown as on the white side. There are the black strip clubs with the really hot black women who were almost as wary of me as the really hot white women. They tend to average about $20 less, but the LE scene is still considerable. A couple of miles up, you get the hood rats and crack heads of varying quality. Some of them lure you in with good rates. Like, there was this 7 girl with great legs who only want $20 and the usual combination for sex, so I happily let her in, then she told me that she just wanted me to drop her off to get "ice cream" first. 30 minutes and two crack dens later, she's finally ready to tell me where her place is so I can get what I came for. She insisted on smoking crack before we started, and I only went along with it because I went through that much to get her, it would be a pity to end there. So she did her thing, then I did mine. Naturally, she was too messed up to be into it, so it wasn't a great experience at all and quite frightening- but it was $20 for FS/BBBJ with a 7 girl, so I'll take it. That's pretty much the story with most of those girls around there. But I was too afraid to do anything over there again.

A little bit further out, for the final stretch of OBT, you get back into white trailer territory. I didn't see much out on a consistent basis, but I met this really hot italian girl (7.5) from Long Island who somehow ended up in Orlando living out of a motel. She wanted me to drop her off to get some "ice cream" too. I did, and she rewarded me with FREE sex. Why? Because, as she claimed,"I'm not a 'ho - I just like what I like, and if a guy is really nice to me, then I'll like him, you know?". ok, whatever. She had really good technique, I guess she used to be a stripper. But she had this really interesting pelvic rotation thing that felt *incredible*. Also a few very unique positions that I never saw before. Only problem was that her dog wanted in on the action....

So that's the general story of the scene out there. Hopefully everyone will find it informative enough to FINALLY get the information they need but never seem to be able to get here. I had quite enough of the "Looking for Orlando/Tampa suggestion" threads with 0 replies, lol. So here you go - all the info you'll ever need! And then some!

Please let me know if there's something I left out or need some elaboration on anything! Oh, and if anybody asks for Orlando/Tampa recommendations in the future, please direct them to this post! And to www.theeroticreview.com and ***, unless you're at war with them or something. But they have a much more extensive Orlando/Tampa review scene than this board.

[Headhunter2000]

That Indian girl has got to be "Toy." I knew her quite well. I know I am late in posting this, but I just discovered this board.

[demigawd]

Ah, I know who you're referring to now. I don't remember her ever referring to herself as Toy - she called herself Minda to me. Not sure if she changed stage names, or if that's her real name or what. I talked to her a few times, but I never flew her to NYC. I was talked out of it on another board, so I'm not sure what her current status is. In retrospect, I really should have done it, just to see where it would have gone. I've never been so attracted to anyone in my life, ever. She was my physical ideal brought to life. Nice person too, really.

But like I said, I'm not sure what her current status is, as we fell out of touch when I balked on bringing her here. Sorry.

What was your experience with her?

[Headhunter2000]

"Minda" is very close to her real name. A lot of these girls use multiple nicknames, so that is no surprise. When I first met her, she was only 18. Beautiful face, but my perfect woman would be a little more voluptuous--just my preference. She was very nervous that first time--she would not even have dated me if I hadn't convinced her I knew Jade/Shiloh/Taylor, the Korean girl she was working with at the time. Her nervousness made me nervous, so our first date wasn't that enjoyable. Then she disappeared. I ran into her again several months later. (By now she was 19.) To my surprise, she recognized and remembered me immediately. And was surprisingly sweet. I dated her a couple more times and got to know her better. Then she disappeared again. This would be around the same time you met her. I still assocatiate with the other girls she was working with, but I do not know if they split on good or bad terms. I would really like to see Toy/Minda again, but it is probably best she does not return to FL. There is an outstanding warrant for her arrest here because she failed to make a court appearance.

Believe it or not, she is not the prettiest girl I have ever picked up on OBT. That would have to be Nicole/Diamond a black/white/Puerto Rican mix I met July 2001. Perfect face, perfect body, so-so personality. Unfortunately, I lost contact with her too. All I know is she went back to her home state of New Jersey--I don't even know what city.

Oh well--find 'em, fuck 'em, forget 'em.

Over and out, HH.

[demigawd]

Interesting story - by the way, when I was there, she was still working with a very attractive asian girl, so as of June they were still in league and still working the streets. But you're right, she was *very* paranoid about the whole thing. But I'm a really sweet sort of guy, so people tend to warm up to me a bit more easily. We're also pretty close in age, so went spent a lot of the time just laughing after the sex about nothing in particular (unless she was laughing at me and I just didn't realize it...uh oh).

At any rate, I hope she's doing ok. I know the Orlando/Tampa scene got REALLY rough with all the LE there now. It's a pity, because the providers I met there were among the most attractive I've seen anywhere (though disproportionately expensive).

[littleguy]

Now THAT'S a review. (grin)

d.g.,

Where do I find "Lori" ?

That sounds like she may be the old "Single Lori" from Tampa. Lost track of her a while ago. She was reported to be terrific.

[demigawd]

You're quite correct - she is, in fact, SingleLori from Tampa. The good news is that she's really great, the bad news is that last I heard she she moved a few hours north in Florida. Not sure if the rumors are true. But I've only heard good things about her as well, and they're all true! You can find her on eros, and she's reviewed on TER.com. Funny that I didn't include their contact info below, what was I thinking? Either way, I'm certain she's on eros-tampa with her phone number and/or web address. If I recall it was something along the lines of singlelori4u.

[Headhunter2000]

DG, you really made the most of your time here in FL. Coming back any time soon? LE has always targeted hobbyists and providers very actively here. We have Mickey Mouse to thank for this--he runs the politics here. We still have our fun though. Ironic--I can't find any locals who know the girls I know, but I find a New Yorker who does.

Toy had an ad at Eros-Tampa, but it disappeared when she disappeared. It is my little inside joke that I pick up "escorts" on the street. I pay $ or less for the same service others pay $$$ or more for.

The following is speculation on my part, but it's speculation based on facts known to me. I don't think Toy was running away from the business. I think she just wanted to get far away from FL and those she associated with here. But she was probably afraid to be alone. Remember, she's only 19 and still immature in some ways. She's probably never been all alone before. That's why she wanted to go to NY with you. I think she really liked you. She certainly didn't need your money for a plane ticket. She would make $1000 on the street any given night--the kind of girl pimps compete for mercilessly. And that doesn't even include whatever money she made in the daytime "escorting." I am fairly certain she is still "working," whereever she is, but probably keeping a low-profile about it, no longer advertising on the web.

I could not find any pictures of Singlelori on the web, but her address is: singlelori4u at hotmail.com

[heffer123]

what about jewls ? The best time Iever had with a provider .She showed me that orlando does have great providers. But be werry there are a lot of wacked bimbos down here like sterling 4 you what a nut job or trinty that dont post any ***** or contact info a lot of nuts down around breavard county

[robnotbob]

DG : Thanks from NY..I am heading to Orlando in October and couldnt find any good info myself.

[The Captain]

Lori CAN be hard to find, but believe me -- she's worth it! She travels ALOT, but to the best of my knowledge now calls Melbourne her "home."

That said, I just read on another board that she currently is in Jacksonville (8/27). A snippet from her previous weekend's adventure:

"...I rode the electronic bull topless last night!! Real bull tonight! wooo hooo better catch me today!"

You can visit her website at:

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/singlelori4u/main.htm

or contact her on AIM at [*****]Lori2Night4U@aol.com[/*****] or via cell phone at 321-431-0211.

[demigawd]

ok, so that confirms the rumors about Lori's whereabouts. I remember she would frequently call me from Jacksonville, talking about how awesome the hotel where she's staying is. She has a really bubbly personality, and it comes through in the session.

It's a shame to hear about Toy. You know, I always wondered by super-beautiful SWs like her never tried to hook up with an escort service, or get on-line. I guess in her case she did (never told me that, though) but took it down because of Florida LE worries. But it seems she's doing well the way she is, even if she doesn't seem particularly happy. I sort of regret not flying her here, especially now. I was just worried that she would go psycho, or rob me while I'm at work one day and disappear, even though she didn't come across that way. I may still have her number tossed about someplace...

Jewls - the name sounds familiar, so I may have had some initial contact or interest in her, but for whatever reason didn't follow through. I only had but so much time and so much money while I was there, so I'm sure there were a few who slipped by. But I probably got the majority of the reputable Florida/Tampa providers at some point or another.

[messstat]

Having been active in the Orlando "scene" for some 3 years now...I have some things to say that may rub some the wrong way, sorry.
1st off, ANYONE that screws a streetwalker on OBT is either flirting with a nasty case of Herpes/AIDS or some similar ailment..Bound to effect them for the rest of their lives...Smoking crack and banging some Ho on OBT is about as bright as a 25Watt bulb?!
2ndly, LE has put the kabuts on fun in Orlando for the imaginable future...Most if not all of the providers have been arrested or fled the "coop" so-to-speak...Of all the things you've said...Anna, and her physical description/service etc. was true...Further, Anna's a real "stand-up" provider...She refused to roll over on her johns for LE when they arrested her...whata girl (thank God!)
I wouldn't recommend seeking service anywhere within a 2oo mile radius of Tampa, right now...If you're smart use Rosie and her 5 sisters!
Lastly, you won't see me here much...LE's for-sure got my M/O and they are watching every website and ***** CLOSELY for additonal info.

[Reel Deal]

Sorry, but you're wrong about Anna. She is but one of many in Central FL to offer a list of clients. She's got her own problems in Atlanta now over a drug bust. She's a nice gal, but just got waaaay over her head in her chosen profession.

BTW-are you IW?

[ank113]

Demigawd

if you have any info on the indian girl that you met in orlando, could you ***** it to [*****]ank113@yahoo.com[/*****].. i will be there next week and love to meet indian chicks..thks

[messstat]

Wuah? "You're wrong about Anna..." Wrong about about what? I'm sorry if she's having problems in Atlanta...I suppose, sooner or later ALL of us have had some problems! How could you ask if I'm IW (oooooh) after reading my statement about OBT (known to be his fav spot) ?
Dude...get some lead in yur pencil next time!

[demigawd]

Originally posted by ank113
Demigawd

if you have any info on the indian girl that you met in orlando, could you ***** it to [*****]ank113@yahoo.com[/*****].. i will be there next week and love to meet indian chicks..thks

I'm not sure what the deal is with her anymore, of even if she's still in Florida, based on some new information I received, but if you're going for the Indian-type, you should try out Vanity, who I thought was Indian or Trini when I met her. It's difficult to tell exactly what her ethnicity is because of her exotic look. She sort of resembles the real Vanity.

[Reel Deal]

Originally posted by messstat
...Further, Anna's a real "stand-up" provider...She refused to roll over on her johns for LE when they arrested her...

This is simply not true.

And IW was not known for being picky about his "ho's". It need a pulse and a p***y...

[messstat]

I stand corrected...Anna did "roll over" on *** himself (awww, couldn't happen to a nicer guy). As far a IW goes, here are my thoughts on that DW. Some of IW's "conquests" were Anna and Leigh Ann...I had the unfortunate priviledge of meeting Leigh Ann before I knew she was one of IW's main "squeezes"...Understand, I'm a very polite type and even if I don't end up doing anything, I pay $$$. Leigh Ann and Anna have 4 things in common...A great attitude, friendly personality, their cheap as well as having absolutely WASTED bodies. I have my doubts he even checks for a "pulse"!
I'll never darken either of their doorsteps again...mostly because of their bods but their assocaion with IW is the icing on the cake.

[demigawd]

What's with all this IW stuff? Who is IW and what's it have to do with Anna?

[pjorourke]

Originally posted by demigawd
What's with all this IW stuff? Who is IW and what's it have to do with Anna?

IW is an abbreviation for the handle Iron Worker. This guy was Anna's biggest promoter on ***. He was also rumored to be involved with very ******** girls. He likes to make posts taunting LE. You now know all about him that I do.

[messstat]

Allow me to expand upon the IW explanantions. IW or "Iron Worker" has been active in the provider/hobbyist network for some years now...Around early-2001, IW disappeared from *** postings and a furor between hobbyists and providers ensued as to his whereabouts. Rumors still cling to his murder in Thailand, whilst he was on a "tour" of the dark and mysterious brothels and sex-clubs there, purportedly, he was attacked and stabbed.
Sometime in late-2001, IW postings reappeared-briefly on ***, dispelling the rumors of his demise..but it's never been confirmed, he is in fact, still alive.

IW, introduced (broke them in) many street walkers to the status of "legit" providers that in-turn posted their services on ***...Not all of the legit providers were street walkers, just common hose-bags he recruited at bars or where ever...Missy K (a 30-something petite-framed blonde that could pass for 18) was a "legit" provider he recruited...Anna, formerly of Leesburg, now Tampa, another...and Leigh Ann of Longwood, an office secretary he recruited from a seedy bar in the Orlando area...Missy K and Anna have been charged with prostitution and released on bond...Leigh Ann, dropped out of sight...to my knowledge she has not been arrested in connection with the sting operation called "Operation Flea collar", nor has IW.

IW's "MO" is young (of questionable age and indescriminate color) streetwalkers, more commonly frequenting the OBT area...Something "DemaGawd" has written about. IW's in his late 50's, stocky built, rudy complexioned-perv, that works for a petroleum company, giving him extensive travel-time abroad...hence the Thailand story line. Rumor also has it, he preferred sans-condom action with the OBT-bunch, as well as the Thailand hookers. This, consequently has ruined his "chances" with legit providers in the Orlando/Tampa area.
And THAT's IW

[demigawd]

What a dramatic life. That guy was definitely a career "hobbyist", and what an apropos way to go too, assuming there's some truth to that rumor.

But yeah, the whole OBT SW MO was to not bring up the topic of condoms at all, which I guess made them feel absolved of responsibility. The first couple of times, I was confused because I picked the girl up and went to a hotel or something and she just pulled off our clothes, bent over and told me to give it to her. I only found out about the douche/condom thing from one of the other, older girls I met on OBT who told me about the whole culture among them. I guess they're either hoping to get pregnant and attach themselves to some sort of steady income or they truly feel invincible or they simply don't care or just really want the business enough to do whatever it takes to have an edge on the girl across the street. They're easily the most accommodating SWs I've ever encountered, which may or may not be a good thing, depending on your point of view.

[Reel Deal]

IW is not dead.

But I'll bet he'll wish he was if LE ever gets him. More-than-rumor has it he's a strong blip on their radar screen. I hear they don't like "his kind" in Raiford.

[Back_Again]

Interesting. I didn’t know this forum existed. A whoremonger from another board turned me on to this. I’ve been in the Orlando scene, quietly, for years. I used to follow and almost worship IW. I must have had sloppy seconds with most of his new *** Escort new-find turnouts. There are too many contradictions in the stories. I wish I knew the real truth, he was an interesting, albeit nasty, character.

What I know is that he was always finding, or recruiting, scores of girls, not for profit, but just to see if he could do it. He was briefly an icon on ***’s Orlando board.

I know for a fact that he would find girls on the street (OBT), or in bars, or in Yahoo personals, or advertising in the back of the Post, or in massage parlors, and he would show them how to do a simple Yahoo photo page, and the rest was history, they became legitimate escorts. I know for a fact that his tastes were varied. He liked them of almost any age, any race, or any physical description. He didn’t cull none of it, as my grand daddy used to say. To him, a $20 BJ from a streetwalker was the same as a $350 BJ from ~Kelly~ of Orlando. It was all the same to him, and he tried every flavor, every variation, every venue. I know all of that for certain.

You just think his old *** posts are gone from the Internet. Rumor is that he paid *** to kill it all. I am not sure why. The stuff may have been erased off of ***’s servers, but most of it is still there, in so-called archiving servers (see and search from http://www.archive.org ) Also, all of his WSG and newsgroup posts are still there. Nasty stuff.

More contradictions. He usually ended his *** posts with “Y’all Play Safe”, yet the bareback rumors still persist. I know, from the girls, that Anna would go vaginally bareback with IW and with Jackson, and that Leigh Ann took it bareback up the ass, no less, from IW and others.

More contradictions. He really laid on the Southern Boy hillbilly thing real thick, yet he was supposedly an educated professional engineer, and he really fell hard for black girls (like Tracey) and for mixed-race girls (like the deceased Dezriana).

More contradictions. He supposedly looked for very young stuff, yet his regular squeeze was a Northern girl almost as old as he was. Figure that one out.

More rumors. He died in Thailand while on a sex tour. Yes, I’ve heard that one repeatedly, in many lurid variations. Another rumor says that he was on a petroleum engineering assignment in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, and he was killed. One version of that rumor says that the Russian Mafia got him. Another story says that local Muslim Clerics got him after he allegedly tried to pay to deflower a young Uzbek girl.

OK, all of the he-has-died rumors fit the mythical man. But, what about current stuff? Was he a target in OFC? Was he caught and/or questioned? I believe that he was wanted for questioning, but that he wasn’t caught. I base that on a post that I’ve copied and pasted at the end of this that I found at the WSG. There is lots of good Anna and OFC stuff in that.

What of other board names? Was IW and Jackson really the same person? What about the more current Louie The Lizard and Doc Holliday? Same writing style, same issues with the police.

How about OFC? (more on that below) Word is that the police knew who IW was, and that he was arrested, and fined, and let go, (money talks) for coke possession when he tried to use crack to lure some ******** black girls on OBT. So, if the police know him from previous arrests, why does the info below sound so believable and juicy? More contradictions.

Well, there isn’t much else here in Orlando to talk about, so I just had to answer this thread, I apologize if it was long, but I had to get my two cents in. I have studied Iron Worker since he invented that board name in about March of 2000.

Just Me.
-------------------------------------

From WSG (USA/Florida/Orlando/posted 26-July-2002)

For Maldanado and for Mr. Morden

Guys,,,

Apologies are in order. Some of us enjoy tweaking piggy’s tail, and watching the ensuing pork-riot. We never meant to capture fellow hobbyists in our net.

To my knowledge, there are no “young-girl” street walkers on OBT. Never have been. Finding them as young as 18-19-20 is darn near a rarity.

Some of you have read NewsGroup posts like “******** on OBT”. A planted hoax, I will explain later. Some of you have read the “********” posts here. Same thing. The story was sort of true, but the age was changed to excite the oinkers.

The actual Hispanic girl in question was 18 last year, and 19 this year. Not at all ********. If you read the whole NewsGroup thread, you will understand that it was merely an opportunity for a political statement. Everybody goes crazy about protecting “******** little girls”, so what better way to make a dramatic statement about adult street girls being swept up by the pigs?

The intentionally ironic point in the old NG post was in IW’s final response where he pointed out that if an actual ******** Street Girl was picked up by the cops, she would be back to work as soon as her drunk mama and her unemployed daddy could sign her out of juvenile detention, no fine and no bond-hearing for first offenses. On the other hand, if a consenting adult tries to peddle her flesh on the street, she has to pay-off the system big-time before she can escape Big Brother’s grasp, even for a first offense. (Y’all getting’ any of this?)

There are several of us who have enjoyed tweaking piggy’s tail, and it has always been fun. Three days after the old NewsGroup post, “******** on OBT” went up, it was like oink-city around Savers. The place was crawling with Men-in-Black-wannabes, complete with dark glasses and bad polyester suits. There was a marked cruiser in the lot, and the area was knee-deep in doughnut crumbs, styrofoam cups, and peanut shells.

That was not the first, nor the last time. Yes, this trick has been executed repeatedly, different places, different media. It is easy. And it works.

Suppose that you want to take the heat off of the 7-11’s, or off of In-Town Suites, for example? Easy, find a dead area, and post something juicy about it. All the oinkers will go to the dead area, looking for those two ******** twin Burmese hookers that you posted about. Drive by. Look, laugh, and then go up the road to a newly liberated area and find the woman that you will love for the next 15 minutes before you cast her sperm-bucket old ass back into the street.

I have had a lot of fun with similar ploys. For example, before the whole *** thing popped on June 18th, I went thru about two months of ****** hell. Somebody was after me. (Turn-about is fair play, right?) I got all kinds of threatening ******s from people telling me that I had better not ever post on any of the boards again, or otherwise stir up shit against LE like I have always done.

Fair is fair, so I fired back with my own weapons. (The pen is mightier than the sword,,,) Some games are obvious, but the oinkers still fall for them.

I knew that I had scored a deception when I was told that the Minions of Hate and Fear had asked Hot-lil-Anna (Angela Guinn) “Who is Iron Worker?” (they even showed her drivers license photos of all four of the “Randy Wheelers” that live in Oral-Land-Oh.)

I orchestrated that. (I’m so proud,,,) How did I do it? - - Read on,,,

I am sure that the jack-booted ninjas realize by now that I was putting a good head-fuggin on them via Hot-lil-Anna. But, at the time, they thought that they were onto something really hot and juicy that would get them air-time on “60 Minutes”.

You see, about 2-3 months ago, Anna told me all about her arrests and about her interrogations, about her situation, and about Charles-The-Man, and etc.

I knew from what Anna told me that her AOL account was being read by the super-troopers, so I could scarcely resist the temptation. I wrote to Anna (at her compromised AOL account,,,) an outlandish (and wonderfully bogus) ****** about how I was having great fun in Southeast Asia, and how I had met these Russian Dudes, Ivan and Nicolai, in the Russian Market in Phnom Penh. (There are no longer any Russians in PP, not even in the “Russian Market”, but the local-yokels wouldn’t know that,,,)

Any way, I planted a nice hook in the ****** by mentioning that the Russians were buying young girls over the border in Vietnam to supply to secret Asian Brothels in America. I signed the ****** with my running buddy’s street nom-de-twat, “Randy Wheeler”. The Baptist Gestapo rose to the bait, and swallowed whole. A few days later, Local Brother again questioned Angela Quinn. They brought with them drivers license photos of all 4 of the real Randy Wheelers that are unlucky enough to live in Oral-Land-Oh. The genius asked Anna - - “Which one is Iron Worker?”.

OK, so I’m sometimes having fun at taxpayer expense. I only wish that our Law Enforcement agencies would invest their (our) resources into catching raghead A-Rabs like Bin Laden, instead of interfering with consenting adults.

In any event, I have repeatedly proven a point to myself - - the police may be almost all-powerful, but they are not all-knowing. They can be easily fooled, and they can be led into believing whatever is hot and juicy.

I just thought that you guys would know better.

Sorry, guys. Again, apologies to Maldanado and to Mr. Morden.

Rangers lead the way - - ALL The Way ! !

Louie

-----------------------
(Above copied and pasted exactly as found at the WSG - http://www.wsgforum.com/)

[maldanado]

where you saw the ******** girls was that around the mall area? if you head towards highway 50 i have never seen any so i am asuming you mean from i4 towards the mall at sand lake?

[messstat]

I should correct my early posting about IW's taste for "********" girls...True, IW very seldom , if ever, found black-crack addicted ho's, OBT streetwalkers and just plain trailer trash, during his conquest to recruit for legit provider status or just plain fun...What IW DID do, was under-18 girls in 3rd world nations...Not particularily tough, if you know the sitch over there...and I do.

Now, I don't believe most men would turn down a 15 yr. old piece of ass...Unfortunately, Rev. Falwell and the religious right wing, have pigeon- holed us into a corner, so to speak...Yeah, I've been there...I once lived with a 15 yr. old in P.I. and it was the best I ever had!

Where the problem lies with IW's conquests, is that in his efforts to recruit for legit provider status, he did in fact "bareback" ALL of his girls...This put all providers/hobbyists at risk in this area. I'm not saying I'm particularily smart, because I've spent time with all of the aforementioned girls...especially the infamous ~Kelly (blech) because I was on a budget...Never again!

#1. everyone of them are skaggs...
#2. it just ain't worth it!

Quality - not quantity...If IW's been on there doorstep, I don't go there, plain and simple.

[Reel Deal]

Back_Again=Louie the Lizard=Doc Holliday=Iron Worker=B*** C*******. His fingerprints are all over the posts.

Hey, Bill-how are those Yellow Jackets going to do this year? Things OK in B***sw**k?

[IronWorker]

Not to mention people that y’all seem to love to hate,,,

Where is all of the old gang? I know that some of the girls have either left town, or, worse, they are wearing those awful orange jumpsuits in local brother’s dungeons,,,

But, where are the guys, especially the ones that rolled and copped-out? How bad has it been for them? I had some of the girls tell me (in the April-June timeframe,,,) which guys had been brought in for questioning, which ones had their computers confiscated, and which ones “hung-tough”, and which ones rolled-over and told on everybody.

It was damn near like a list of “who is who” (or, who WAS who,,,) on the Orlando and the Tampa *** boards. I tried to warn some people, and I got my ass ate out for attempted “board outing”. Of course, one month later, it all popped, and then later, when Exhibit “A” was published by Wookie and others, it was like “sure nuff”, the girls were right on who the cooperators were.

But, where are all of the old players? C-T-M?, Kitten?. Spocko?, Jackson?, Golf Bud?, PJ?

I imagine that some are busy settling up with their wife’s attorneys. Maybe some came out clean, and are re-born with new handles on other boards. (like this one,,,) (hint, hint,,,)

Do the girls and the fellow players still trust and respect these guys? I wonder which ones are cooperators with the pigs? Too frequently when this thing was blowing up, and right afterwards (say,,, 18-June thru 15-July) I had several of the old and current *** board regulars, (some that I ain’t never swapped letters with,,,) suddenly become my best pal, always writing to me, wanting to meet me for a Jack and Coke, etc. Yeah, like that wasn’t obvious, duh-huh,,,

And, then there was the weird series of threatening letters, which culminated with “someone” conspiring to post some hate-shit against me on the Oral-Land-Oh public board. Basically, the hate letters to me sounded LE inspired, warning me to never post on any board again, and warning me to absolutely never stir up crap against the cops again. Anybody want to “get honest” and own-up to that one? The warning letter that I received, before the board stuff went up, used exact words and phrases that both SweetestAngela and Jackson had written to me many months previously. So, I sort of suspected them, yet I don’t get the connection. Again, anybody want to “get honest” and own-up to that one?

Not to turn this into an OFC (Operation Flea Collar) thread, but where are all of the MBI’s victims? Are our fallen comrades accounted for?

I would love to know.


Y’all play safe. (and only go bareback with your girlfriend(s), however many that you may have,,,)


Iron Worker (The Original, accept no substitutes,,,)

[demigawd]

Wow - when did all of this happen with IW? Do you suppose he had some kind of STD? It stands to reason, given how not a single one of the girls I picked up on OBT required a condom (Anna did, however). Perhaps IW dropped out of the scene because he came down with something.

I remember reading a post on here several months ago about a special interest group whose mission was to bareback as many girls as possible all over the world. I guess IW was targeting them because of it. Some people have the strangest fetishes...

[IronWorker]

Yes, After barebacking everything with a p*lse and a p*ssy, I became very ill and died in some God-forsaken shithole third-world country. But, like our Savior, I rolled my stone on the third day, and I was reborn,,,

And if you believe that,,,

Actually, I’m fine medically, always have been, I’ve just been here and there, playing peek-a-boo with the Gestapo and such truck as that.

Mostly, I still like to haunt these boards lately looking for people I knew, and of course trying to find out the fate of missing comrades that may have fallen in action in Tampa or Orlando this year.

Love, Peace, and all that good old 60’s Hippie-Shit,,,

Iron Worker

[Headhunter2000]

Originally posted by demigawd
Wow - when did all of this happen with IW? Do you suppose he had some kind of STD? It stands to reason, given how not a single one of the girls I picked up on OBT required a condom (Anna did, however). Perhaps IW dropped out of the scene because he came down with something.

I remember reading a post on here several months ago about a special interest group whose mission was to bareback as many girls as possible all over the world. I guess IW was targeting them because of it. Some people have the strangest fetishes...

They sure do. There's this dude in the 'How to partake in NYC street action?' thread in the New York section with a lipstick fetish. Can't quite remember his name... LOL.

[demigawd]

And here I thought no one read my posts...

[demigawd]

Luckily I never ran into any trouble after going on a sexual binge in the area. IW - are the OBT girls compromised as well? And do you know anything about a certain Indian girl on OBT who everyone is curious about?

[Headhunter2000]

DG, I know you addressed your question to IW, not me--but what the fuck, I'll chime in anyway. OFC never had anything to do with my little OBT sweeties. OFC targeted the high-profile *** escorts and hobbyists with the ultimate goal of nailing Charles Kelly, *** himself. BTW, it seems my Indian princess returned to FL after all. See for yourself: http://www.eros-miami.com/files/bo-toy6.htm

Over and out, HH

[Golf_Bud]

IW.....nice post, but unfortunately you named someone who has never been in contact with LE.....did all of this bareback stuff really affect your brain and judgement?

CTM, KC, Jackson, Spocko and others were listed in OFC Exhibit "A", why do you continue to add others to your fantasy? BTW, this persona was created in March 2002, check your precious ***....how did I become an old player, or are you referring to my golf game?

[Headhunter2000]

It seems the *** trial is the only topic of discussion here on the Florida board lately. Since OFC and OVB (Operation Virtual Brothel, the on-going Orlando escort stings) have driven the escorts underground, I have noticed more and more street activity on OBT (Orange Blossom Trail.) Not only more guys looking for entertainment, but better looking, drug-free girls as well. Some of these are ex-escorts and ex-strippers. The following report was posted by 'Virgil1216' on 12/13/02 on the Wsgforum Orlando board:

Yea HH, I was out as well. I saw the blonde you were talking about and I have seen the brunette before. I talked to them both about a week ago. They wanted 60 for bj and 150 for fs. 150 FOR FS!!!!!. Are they mad? They looked cute but what the hell? This is the street we are talking about. I tried to work the price down but neither one would budge. Maybe you could have better luck HH. I was able to find a sw south of SL road. She had a 5 face but an 8 body. Incredible ass. Went back to her hotel. She had a great attitude. Loved it real nasty. Not rushed. Came away totaly satsified and it only cost 40. Gentlemen, the experience was worth three times that. It goes to show that great poon can still be had in Orlando for a reasonable rate. I think too many novice mongers (there's an oxymoron) are dropping their drawers and their wallets to whatever price these price-gouging bitches want, thinking more money will make these girls better. Now these girls think they are better. I actually ran into one of these girls walking the street in New York once. She was from Orlando. Came to New York because she wasn't getting a fair price in O-town. She was asking for 500 for a bj and 2000 for 1 hour. I about shit in my pants. I don't think Porn stars are 2000/hr. This girl was by no means ugly but was no supermodel either. I ran in to her on the streets a couple of months ago here in "O" she was strung out, and willing to do anything I wanted for a pack of smokes. Bang for the buck I say.

Thats the other thing about these expensive young, cute ho's. They usually don't get into it. Not a lot of fun (just my opinion). Maybe HH2K can negotiate and bag 'em. Let us know.

Street Update:

Besides the nasty girl, and HH's elusive chicks, there was some other action out. Two WSW's walking between the Jordan 7/11 and Wendy's. One was about a 6, a little chunky, but not fat. The other was tall about a 7. They were out around 8pm. I didn't talk to them.

There were 2 more BSW's up near the I4 corridor. LE was heavy. These girls were lurking in the shadows near the buildings.

John Sting update:

It seems the john sting the other night was OPD. (check out the posts of the busts on the OPD website). I talked with an acquaintance (a friend of an uncle who watches the dog for a neighbor's cousin...) who told me that OPD was going to be running more and more stings. It seems the new Chief of OPD doesn't want to be outdone by our illustrious OC sherriff. Thats all we need, a hooker/john bust war. Any way, watch out within the city limits. Big Bro is watching there too.

Happy Hunting

[DeeDee]

I talked to a friend of a friend who says that IW is alive and kicking. He's just having some fun. Yes, it's true that he's Louie the Lizard, Doc Holliday, etc.. I'd like to meet this dude myself. I enjoy the company of older men. You really have some info on this man.

[DeeDee]

Are Slinkeybender and IW the same? Think about it?

[DeeDee]

Originally posted by Reel Deal
Back_Again=Louie the Lizard=Doc Holliday=Iron Worker=B*** C*******. His fingerprints are all over the posts.

Hey, Bill-how are those Yellow Jackets going to do this year? Things OK in B***sw**k?


You know alot. But you're a little too far north for the IW. Where did you come up with B***sw**k? Sorry I've just found this. Been traveling.

[DeeDee]

Real Deal knows alot. But he went too far north for the IW. Try a little to the south ole boy. Wish I had caught this sooner but I've been busy traveling.

[DeeDee]

Originally posted by Reel Deal
Back_Again=Louie the Lizard=Doc Holliday=Iron Worker=B*** C*******. His fingerprints are all over the posts.

Hey, Bill-how are those Yellow Jackets going to do this year? Things OK in B***sw**k?




Hey, what's this about the Yellow Jackets? IW is a UGA runner.

[IronWorker]

He/She writes with almost as much clarity as my ex-wife’s attorney (and I never had a clue what he was talking about either,,,)

If any of you play-it-safe stay-at-home real-monger-wannabes have a serious bone to pick with me, please feel free to spam me with some horseshit at nomoreiron-at-anemia-dot-cum.

Regards,

Iron Worker

[jezebelle]

You don't have an ex-wife yet. You just abandoned your family as I hear it. Are you man enough to leave this post up or will you have me banned too?

[Headhunter2000]

Jesus, this IW fuck really knows how to burn bridges, doesn't he? I am embarrassed to admit I considered him a friend and something of a mentor. Until he stabbed me in the back, that is. I don't want to go into details here, but let's just say he is quite the con man, and he ripped me off. I know where the bastard is, but don't know what to do with that info.

Jezzie, I suspect you are Mrs. IW, and that you are also DeeDee. If so, why did you suspect that Slinkybender is really IW? I have heard that, although I am not sure that I could believe it. I also heard a lot about you from him, but now I suspect everything he told me was lies. After all, what kind of shithead abandones his own family?

[jezebelle]

Eight hours after just reading this site, I was blocked from it. My computer says that this site has been moved and so I have to access this site another way. How do I know that you are not IW? He's very clever, but I'm not as stupid as he thinks I am. After all, I was trained by one of the best (hate to give him a compliment). He has left his family with no money, 2 mortgages, and a daughter with epilepsy that requires $800 a month for medication and has no insurance. People that admire him are as sick as he is.

[Headhunter2000]

I appreciate your wariness. I agree that he is clever. If you have time to do a little reading, I think it will become evident that I am not another IW alias. I did not know the whole story when I admired him, but I am certainly no saint myself, so call me sick if you must.

[jezebelle]

Sorry about what I said. I apologize for judging you. I assume that everyone knows everything that he has done. Some of it is very sick but you obviously don't know everything. Some of it is extremely personal. To each his own - unless it affects my family. He has left his family in a bad way.

[Headhunter2000]

Apology accepted.

Perhaps I can help you in some way, and catalyze a little "karmic retribution" in the process. This is going to get me banned, but please drop me a line: orlheadhunter at yahoo dot com.

Adieu, ladies and gentlemen.

Bowing out gracefully, HH

[TheDevilHimself]

Head,

I thought that you and I had a deal? In exchange for your soul, I have given you youth, and vigor, and some pretty good leads and pick-up lines.

Shame on you for being intolerant of another hobbyist’s personal affairs, and for being so publicly disloyal to a fellow hobbyist.

You shall know the curse of “13” as punishment - -

The next thirteen streetwalkers that you will pick-up will be transvestites;

Your genitalia will henceforth smell worse than the combined odor of the scrotums of 13 camels. Even the OBT dope-starved chickenheads will no longer give you head;

The next 13 dogs that you see will bite you on the ass and then piss down your leg;

Your penis will be severely bitten and mutilated during an in-car BBBJ, requiring that you get 13 stitches, and that you fill out 13 lengthy forms, while repeating the story over and over to 13 police officers in room 13 of the emergency ward;

That was about all of the “ 13’s “ that I could think of. You will be the first to know if additional punishment is deemed necessary.

See you in Hell,

Lucifer

[Headhunter2000]

Was that a threat? For all you know, I have turned CI by now. SlinkyBender will be more than happy to forward your IP to the proper authorities, and they do not take kindly to witness tampering. Expect a subpoena any day now. "13" will be the size of your colon after it gets pumped by Leroy and Bubba at Raiford.

See you in Hell too, Buddy-Boy

HH

[TheDevilHimself]

(The Catfish Enterprises camera, clad in asbestos, zooms in on the Fires of Hell Talk Show, already in progress,,,)

Leary - - …generally, the flashbacks resolve themselves after 20-30 years, and require no medical intervention, its no big deal, and its worth the minor aggravation to experience…

Lucifer - - OK, Timothy, I don’t mean to cut you off, but we have to make time for our other guests, so back to Purgatory ya go, Laddie ! !

Lucifer - - Now, our next guest recently joined us after he was brutally murdered by some angry Russians in a brothel in Tashkent. Ladies, and gentlemen, spirits and demons of Hell, I give you the legendary whoremonger from Central Florida, IronWorker ! ! … (Suddenly,,, A Flash of Light, a Puff of Smoke,,, ) Oh, Big Guy, so nice of you to pop in,,, How Unexpected,,,

IW - - Wait, its my turn, what about my rant against Jezebel ?

Lucifer - - Later, idiot, its the Big Guy, and he only comes down here once every few thousand years, OK? Now just go back to shoveling shit ! !

God - - So, still up to your old tricks, are we my Dark Angel? Nice place you have down here, kind of warm (chuckle). So who was the guest that I displaced, the one with the multiple stab wounds? And what was he saying about Jezbel? I had that Idolatress slain by Jehu in Jezreel. Have you dared to loosen her onto the world, to worship idols once more?

Lucifer - - Oh, no, Big Guy, IW was just wanting to rant about a modern-day Jezbel.

God - - Does she worship idols?

Lucifer - - No,,, mostly I hear that she just worships cable TV, red wine, Tylenol No. 3’s, Xanax, and bon-bons. No idols that I know of,,,

God - - She sounds even worse than the first Jezbel. You may take her, if you want.

Lucifer - - Well, I just happen to have some wise-guy Italian friends that could send her on her way, I suppose, and then,,,

God - - No, absolutely no Italians. The are just like the Romans, and you will of course recall that my Son experienced some unpleasantness at their hands,,,

Lucifer - - Honest, Big Guy, I had nothing to do with that,,, OK, how about Russians, I have some ex-KGB guys that are good in expediting departures,,,and…

God - - Russians? As long as they are Orthodox, I don’t care. Sounds like a plan.

Lucifer - - OK, consider it done. And while we're at it, may I please arrange for an "untimely" meeting with that descendent of Judas Iscariot, the one called "HeadHunter?"

God - - Sure, sure. He's a damned uncircumcised atheist anyway. He's all yours. Communists, atheists, and dirty vice cops are all in your dominion.

Lucifer - - Say, Big Guy, getting back to the Russians, can I trade you Rasputin, perhaps in exchange for that cute little Anastasia Romanov?

God - - No way, slimeball, she is MY cute little angel,,, Supreme Deities have earthly desires too, ya know?

Lucifer - - Ya see? We're not so different after all ! !

God - - Oh, shut up, will ya? (teleports back to the Pearly Gates in a puff of smoke)

(camera goes wavy and flash-forwards to Jezebel and HeadHunter, locked in an eternal embrace, drowning in a pool of smoldering goat shit)

Lucifer - - Ha ! Ha ! ! Who's laughing now!? (wink, wink)


Roll Commercials - - Oh, ye wicked and ye fornicators, has Lucifer got a deal for you, just come on down to my place. Check out Beelzebub’s pre-owned souls, a past life, barely used, can be yours at a mere fraction over blue book. Yes sir. we’ve got some hot deals for you. Hey, you internet junkies, get your free internet access at www.thefiresofhell.com (IP = 666.666.666.666) And, what a deal, old gooseberry does all of the work for you, we pre-spoof your IP address and report your fake DNS to Peters and Bowling, just to save StinkeyFinger the effort… Hey, speaking of the ‘net, have you guys seen my newest web site, Tee-Shirts from Hell, that’s right, only the Devil knows why you would wear one, but they are kind of cute - - http://www.tshirthell.com/
And, hey all of you folks that keep dialing 666-6666 for reservations, look we’ve gone to an automated high-speed internet system, especially for all of you folks that are dying to get into Hell - - Just write to me - - the_devil_himself_26fe56@hushmail.com

OK, that’s all for tonight folks. But, wait ‘til next week, have we got a show for ! ! Next week’s show will be sort of an infomercial, where I will hype my latest do-it-yourself book “The Correct Pagan Rituals for Building Bonfires and Sacrificing Virgins”. Woo-Hoo ! ! Its good to Rule in Hell ! ! See you next week ! !

[Headhunter2000]

...

[Slinky Bender]

Sometimes, the e*mails I get are too funny not to share:

From: Jax John [mailto:go_dawgs_69@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, January 16, 2003 11:54 PM
To: webmaster@utopiaguide.com; slinkybender@utopiaguide.com;allen@utopiaguide.com; wookman@wookworld.com
Cc: sirblack_dragon@bigfoot.com; lisasworld0@yahoo.com; spock01@hotmail.com; drew_park_guy@hotmail.com; jackson_jones69@hotmail.com
Subject: Is "Utopia-Guide" a Tool For The Police ? ?


Dear Allen and/or StinkeyFinger,

I have been following the Florida thread at http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=6516&pagenumber=2

I am quite frankly appalled at this waste of bandwidth and this obvious misuse of the public trust. I realize that in the wake of ***, that board operators are running scared. I still cannot believe what I am seeing.

The general consensus is that you guys gave up Spockos IP address to the police, I suppose either to the MBIs or to the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Office.

In the current Florida thread, there is now posted a thinly disguised "discussion" where an outed hobbyist, his ex-wife, and another hobbyist are trading barbs. None of it seems to have anything to do with furthering the sport, it is just some personal hogwash that landed on your board. Worse, when others have been banned for posting ****** addresses, two out of these three have posted ****** addresses, and you have violated your own cardinal rule, leaving the whole posts and the ****** addys up, flamewar intact, abusers still not yet banned.

Why would you so obviously violate your own board rules? Why? Because the police told you to do so. They want it to go on. They want you to log, and to then report to them, IP addresses of the mischievous miscreants.

I am right, arent I?

I have seen other boards degenerate after the board owners were threatened by the police. Take Wookies board. It is now a closed community of local heathens, God bless em, but they aint none of em never been North of Lake City, nor South of Tampa. ("duh-huh")

Is that the future for U-G? Will you run scared from the police, and allow your board to degenerate? I believe that if you are going to be honest to the Internet community that you serve, that you should either clean-up this part of your board, or offer an honest explanation to everyone of why you have allowed this situation to continue.

Thanks for listening,

Jax John

[Casper]

I never noticed an odor.

[Spocko]

Originally posted by slinkybender
spock01@hotmail.com

The general consensus is that you guys gave up Spockos IP address to the police, I suppose either to the MBIs or to the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Office.




Jax John -- Close but no cigar son!

1. I predict you got that ***** you sent to me back, returned as undeliverable, along with a few others. Anybody who still uses hotmail is a fool.

2. FWIW, Slinky never had my IP to give, but he does NOW for all the good it will do anybody! BTW both my picture and Wook's made it into OFC discovery, so why did they need my IP anyway? Think about it.

3. JJ, you need to lighten up and lossen that wedgy. No need to be "appalled at this waste of bandwidth " unless your paying for it. Hey, what is going rate for bandwidth anyway, how much is too much and just how do you measure it?

In case anybody is interested, Tabby was in court today with her attorney. It could be debated just how well she did. We will find out on the 27th. The 27th is the day the trial is scheduled to start for the remaining OFC defendants. It is also the day when a lot of the many remaining questions about the status of the OFC case will finally be answered.

However, Lacy and her attorney were not in court today. IMHO, It probably would not be a good idea for them to "both" to miss the next session on the 27th. Substitute Mr. M. for Carmen San Diego, if you get my drift. It's a question the judge keeps asking.

[paris1027]

Hello board,

I will be traveling to Orlando on business, and I was wondering how the scene is nowadays on OBT (Orange Blossom Trail) now?? I looking for some fun, but I was not sure how the incall/outcall agency action is.. Any information would help...

Thanks,
Paris1027