The male/female thing

[fishfry]

A little off-topic ramble tonight.

I was at Kinko's earlier, trying to figure out how to steal software from the Macs (much more difficult since MacOS 9 came out). Nearby were a couple of twenty-somethings chatting each other up while bitching about printing problems and the general worthlessness of the service at Kinkos. I'm a fifty-something so I was totally invisible to them, giving me a great vantage point for a little sociological research.

The guy and the gal were chatting up a storm. Being a guy I identified with the guy. I knew he liked her and was doing the "talk to her casually and hope for the best" thing.

At one point the guy said he was going to Starbuck's, and offered to buy the gal a cup of coffee. He came back with the drinks and they kept on chatting.

After ten or fifteen more minutes of this, the gal casually mentioned something about "my fiance." Shortly after that the conversation started winding down. The guy admitted that he was a starving student, and that he had about four bucks to his name.

So there it is. A man will spend his last dollar buying a cup of coffee for a women in the hopes she'll talk to him and maybe want to seem him again.

A woman will take a man's last dollar, chat him up, and then move on, with the entire conversation meaning nothing to her.

Oh yeah, after the guy admitted he was broke, the gal said, "Do you want some money?" Totally embarrassing the guy.

Women. Fuck 'em! Paying for it directly is the only thing that makes a lick of sense.

fishfry999@hotmail.com

[Tankcommander]

the composure to have his priorities straight.

The girl never asked for the coffee, and the guy should have had the dignity to not let on that he was a starving student.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in the same position. I make very little money, and thus, I spend my money very frugally. I feel for the guy, because I would do the same. The conversation meant what it did to the guy and what it did to the girl... something totally unrelated. I say that if anything, the guy bought not the chance to talk to the girl again, but the conversation itself.

To be fair, the girl should have offered to pay for her own coffee, especially since she probably knew where the guy was going with the conversation, and thus she knew that she was going to bring up her fiance.

ALso, for all you know, she may not have a fiance, and just had a fun conversation that she never wants to have again. Sort of like a verbal one-night-stand. I'm poor, ugly and annoying to be around, so I get a lot of those.

Anyway, if the guy was trying to be nice with the coffee, it was a nice gesture. If he thought that he would make the girl feel guilty by bringing up that he was a starving student, then shame on him. If anything, he should have made a new friend who might know "just the perfect girl for him."

But I feel for him... I know what it's like...you just can't blame the girl...

[robnotbob]

What JUST flashed into my head...

"what a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power, to reason away..what seems to be..is always better than nothing.."

[lisa]

Let me start by applauding you tank always the true gentleman.:)

i as a women would have offered to pay for my own coffee .

For you to expect someone else to do the same is wrong, because if we where all alike, life would be extremely dull.

And there would be no need for this board or reviews of providers . women as well as men all act diffrently and thank god for that.

xoxo
lisa

[Edited by lisa on 03-28-2001 at 12:40 PM]

[justme]

The guy likes Starbucks... screw 'im.

[Slinky Bender]

He should have brought her to White Castle.

[Ozzy]

fishfry....

awsome post! thats why i hobby. i'd rather give it to someone who deserves it more and works harder for it.



:cool:

[Casper]

It's a well known fact, at least to most, that women love attention. And as such, she kept talking him up not really because she wanted something for nothing, but IMO because she loved the fact that someone thought her attractive enough and started a conversation.
Men on the other hand will do almost anything they feel necessary to "win" over a woman's feelings even if for a short time.
In short, he acted like a typical guy (paying for both coffees in hopes of furthering his cause) and she acted like a typical female (accepting the attention paid to her) and took the gift of the coffee. I'm sure she knew his intentions. Therefore the "my fiance" line was thrown in only when she felt it had gone on long enough.
He degraded himself by telling her about his lack of money, etc (BIG MISTAKE). She made him feel even smaller by offering to pay him for the coffee (the male ego is oh so delicate).

The young have so much to learn. Reminds me of a joke: "Youth is wasted on the young."

Peace out
C

[littleguy]

"Youth is wasted on the young"

It's a Wonderful Life, when Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed are coming back from taking a dunking in the High School pool. They're flirting/talking in front of this old guy's house. Jimmy Stewart is talking her ear off instead of kissing her and the old guy says, "Why don't you just kiss her instead of talking her to death", Jimmy says "How's that ?" (he had a bum ear, remember) and the old guy repeats "Why don't you just kiss her instead of talking her to death" and Jimmy says "You want to see some kissing, watch this" and Donna runs and hides.

The old guy then says "Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people".

[DannyNJ]

Amazing story. It's a perfect example of how I justify hobbying to myself. After years of all the head games, I decided that this was the quick easy way to get satisfaction without all the bullshit. I assume this took place in NYC - if I was there, I would've given the guy this web address, told him to save his pennies, and within a few weeks he would've been at Julies (or with Lisa, depends on how much he was able to save) getting exactly what he wants without having to buy and damn coffee or engage in unnecessary chat!

[jester]

Casper is right on the money. This kind of encounter seems to be built into the DNA of all men and women, with minor variations to make it interesting. Having once been young myself, I've "been there and done that." It's amazing what men will do when around women, especially if they think there are "possibilities."

I think that the worst part of the story is when she offered him money, although he brought it on himself by saying he was poor. I'll bet the guy was either crushed or pissed off (or both!)

Excellent post fishfry!

Jester