Personality - Does it matter?

[Monk]

I've known several providers who "advertise" primarily by participating in sites like these, or on chat rooms (the TER chat is a prime example). They flirt mercilessly online, and get a lot of business as a result. (In fact, I just chatted with someone recently who claimed that traditional advertising had never worked for her, but the chat rooms proved to be a goldmine.)

The strategy is, basically, to establish some sort of rapport with people online and hope that entices them to take this "relationship" to the next level and book an appointment. The more clever providers create a persona, or character, online to entice prospective clients.

Does this work for you? Do you care whether you get to know someone online before getting to know them in bed? Is there a comfort level you need to reach with someone before taking it further? Do you feel that you can tell whether a provider is "for real" based on her chattiness online?

[vermeer]

I find most online hoor chatter vapid. The only intelligent thing that ever came out of a internet whores mouth was my cock.

Most decent hoors are too busy sucking dick, and getting their assholes ploughed to bother with online chit chat.

[Monk]

So how do you usually select your "hoors"? Walking the streets?

[Wandering Bull]

I find most online hoor chatter vapid. The only intelligent thing that ever came out of a internet whores mouth was my cock.



One brain - and a small one too.

[Waterclone]

It works on me. I am a sucker for a personality.

If I just wanted to get off, I could save some money and hit a rub&tug or do it myself. I see providers because I want more intimacy than that. And that comes from a personality.

It's why I generally don't go to agencies. I don't like how impersonal it is. And indy who I meet online and chat with will, 99% of the time, give me a session that is much more to my tastes.

[Herr_Doktor]

My feeling is it's not about rapport (which is great if you can get it) but about finding a provider with at least SOME intelligence. I've been lucky enough in the past to have found (and unlucky enough to have had to move away from) providers who were witty, smart, and good company. And I found they tended to be the best when it came to the main event. Whether that had to do with having some kind of rapport or them bringing some creativity to things, or both, I don't know. Just my two cents.

[Monk]

So do you find that establishing a rapport online helps you screen/find someone to your liking?

[RuffToy]

Whether on a board such as this one, or via e*mail dialogue, I find that establishing some sort of rapport a big plus going into a session. Sex is a very intimate experience, even p4p. When a comfort zone has been established prior to meeting the first time, it lubricates the experience and leads to a potentially better session. I also think, from the girl's perspective, she'll feel more at ease going into a session with someone she's dialogued with before and have gotten to know a tad.

The mind is the biggest errogenous zone. Two people that "click" mentally and have built a rapport will lead to a better session.

[nychelsea]

Whether on a board such as this one, or via e*mail dialogue, I find that establishing some sort of rapport a big plus going into a session. Sex is a very intimate experience, even p4p. When a comfort zone has been established prior to meeting the first time, it lubricates the experience and leads to a potentially better session. I also think, from the girl's perspective, she'll feel more at ease going into a session with someone she's dialogued with before and have gotten to know a tad.

The mind is the biggest errogenous zone. Two people that "click" mentally and have built a rapport will lead to a better session.

Ruff is on target, as usual. Establishing rapport on line can be a great introduction although it is good to realize that it may be bullshit of the highest order from the lady. Liked the use of the word, "lubricates" - how appropriate!

Vermeer provided a good laugh - he may be right!

Go for the gusto,

Chels

[Herr_Doktor]

it is good to realize that it may be bullshit of the highest order from the lady.

It may be bullshit of the highest order from the guy, too!

Seriously, I agree, rapport-- real or faked-- makes time with the provider that much more fun.

[jimbo44]

For me...., I would not want any form of on line trail especially if the so called provider was some "pig" with a uniform on hiding like a rat behind a keyboard.

[justlooking]

I can't help but think of Hannah of Nashville's having her husband handle all her ***** correspondence for her.

[Monk]

Of course, you make a good point. If they were great writers, they wouldn't be fucking men for a living. On the other hand, you can't make much money writing...

[justlooking]

If they were great writers, they wouldn't be fucking men for a living.

Just for the record, I think that's demonstratably untrue.

On the other hand, you can't make much money writing...

In fact, I think you demonstrated it.

[Herr_Doktor]

Trust me, I used to write for a living... we made nothing. And when it comes to "selling yourself", we were arguably the bigger whores.

[Monk]

Just for the record, I think that's demonstratably untrue.

In fact, I think you demonstrated it.

Just for the record, you take me way too seriously. Often.

[justlooking]

Always.

[justlooking]

I mean, shit, you're a Monk.

[Ozzy]

I can't help but think of Hannah of Nashville's having her husband handle all her ***** correspondence for her.

As a trick I don't like it.... but it doesn't concern me all that much knowing some BF, husband or pimp is flirting with me and setting up appointments to fuck his girl via ***** or IM.


It's the times when whores have other PMB posters handling their *****s that really concerns me.

[Monk]

The general point, and it's an important one, is that you never know who you're talking to online. Even when you think you really do.

(For example, am I really a Monk?)

[seeker6591]

The general point, and it's an important one, is that you never know who you're talking to online. Even when you think you really do.

(For example, am I really a Monk?)

with emphasis added..particularly on CL.

the authorities are quite active on that board!

[medicineman23]

A perfect example would be Myah who some on this board know I am sure. She answers her ****** inquiries & establishes rapport....then you meet her. She is sweet & has this great little body but no way is she writing her ******s...as mentioned in some reviews of her..."you can not connect" IMHO she has the personallity of a 12 yaer old. I made the mistake of seeing her when I happen to be a guy who likes a little "connection" with my "dates" The older mature providers as a rule can provide this....I got caught up in our ****** chat & the rest is history...

[Amber Jewel]

Being an escort is the most wonderful job in the world when I get to mess around with a guy that I really click with. It has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with personality. Show me that you care about me as a total human being and not a collection of orifices and I'll melt in your arms and your mouth.

It stands to reason that many guys will share that point of view when it comes to their choice of providers.

[Monk]

Amber -- I doubt if anyone would dispute what you're saying. Making that connection is key to turning what might a good session into a great one. But what I'm wondering is whether you try to make a connection with potential clients beforehand on chat, via e m a i l, posting to boards like these, etc. Is this part of how you market your services? (How many clients do you meet on boards like these, how many e m a i l exchanges does it take for you to set up a date, how many chat sessions do you participate in before someone books time with you?)

[Amber Jewel]

Monk-I always try to make a personal connection with potential clients before we meet. I post only infrequently and never participate in chat. The first contact is always by e m a il and often involves a personal conversation. I try to have one or more lengthy phone conversations after that so that we can get to know each other.

The getting to know you conversations before the first meeting are more for the purpose of ensuring that we click and can have a more relaxed time together and the beginning of a real personal connection. It can be considered marketing in the sense that my "business model" involves developing a small group of regular clients who become personal friends, where intimacy is emotional as well as physical, where the connection is more than superficial. It is marketing in the sense that it enables both of us to get an initial sense of whether we are likely to truly connect.

I don't think of that as marketing because when someone contacts me initially, they are in most instances already asking for a meeting. They are "pre-sold" on me from having read my website which gives a pretty detailed understanding of my personality, who I am, how I think, what I look like, my sensuality and sexuality,etc. My web site is homespun rather than professionally designed so it is more personal and ideosyncratic than most.

What brings people to my website is a combination of reviews on various sites, "I am available" type postings on various boards, directory listings on free sites and Google searches. I don't require a high volume of clients to reach my financial goals, so the only paid advertising I have ever done besides my new UG ad is for Google Ad Words.

From personal observation and from conversations with other women who make themselves available for pay on the Internet, it is clear that there are a variety of business models and a variety of ways in which women market themselves. They range from displaying personality and intellect in chat sessions and on whore boards, to displaying cleavage on ad sites, to displaying bottom basement prices and pussy on Craig's List.

From the "sacred whore/seers" of ancient Greece to the today's Internet escort, personality has always been a part of how women sell or rent themselves.

[Herr_Doktor]

A perfect example would be Myah who some on this board know I am sure. She answers her ****** inquiries & establishes rapport....then you meet her. She is sweet & has this great little body but no way is she writing her ******s...as mentioned in some reviews of her..."you can not connect" IMHO she has the personallity of a 12 yaer old. I made the mistake of seeing her when I happen to be a guy who likes a little "connection" with my "dates" The older mature providers as a rule can provide this....I got caught up in our ****** chat & the rest is history...

Medecine Man, for me Myah is less the perfect example than the exception to the rule... how to explain this... I guess if I'm seeing a provider who is reasonably close to me in age-- say as young as late twenties, early thirties, someone who, were I single and had my sh*t together I could credibly, or at least theoretically believe them dating me, then that rapport and extra connection can be a big factor in making the time better. But someone like Myah, whose likes in civilian life would realistically have nothing to do with an oldster like me, too much rapport would be too much to swallow (so to speak). Same thing for really nasty black ghetto type women-- I know the only thing they'd ever see in a guy like me is $$$ so the make-believe just wouldn't cut it.

Does any of this make sense? I don't know how else to explain it.

[justlooking]

Makes sense to me.

[Monk]

HD & AJ, what you're both saying makes sense. It depends on what end of the business you're on as to whether it makes sense for you to take the time to develop a rapport with prospective clients. No question.

That said, though, I've sat with several providers as they received ***** inquiries. Although I wasn't surprised, it's still amazing how many rude, explicit and downright disgusting ***** messages they receive. Sifting through this can be, well, a full time job in and of itself. It almost leaves no time for the main event. So I sometimes wonder, from a provider's perspective, how fruitful the pre-session flirt/dialog can really be at times. (I can almost understand why some more entrepreneurial providers out there would pay someone to do it for them.)

[justlooking]

Me, too. I've often thought (OK, it's a thought I've stolen from Slinkybender) that guys use this extended ***** process as a way to extend their sessions. It's like, they get their hour or two in the room -- and like two or three weeks of assisted ***** masturbation.

[UG Staff]

Same thing for really nasty black ghetto type women-- I know the only thing they'd ever see in a guy like me is $$$ so the make-believe just wouldn't cut it.


Don't be so sure about that: depending on the girl, you may be able to actually get a better rapport - a lot of young, good looking girls could never see themselves dating you, so it's from theior end that they couldn't pull off a sucessful "GFE", whereas even though they ae seeing you for the $, since some of the "nasty black ghetto type women" only see any guys (even "real" BF's) for the money to a large extent, they can see you as a potential "real" GF and are able to connect. I can truly say that some of the most "GFE type" experiences have been with girl who you would definitely classify as "nasty black ghetto types".

It also depends on how nice and or interesting you are. There are plenty of guys with enough game that they regularly date women less than half their age, and it's not P4P.

PS To Monk - that's why PMB's work to well: it's a party line (for oldsters who remember, or even remember hearing about, when the phone comany had such things).

[UG Staff]

PPS I know Bender has had girls pretty much throw themselves at him the first time they met, and it didn't appear like they were doing it in return for "board favors" (I think one example is particularly noteable). So, if that's true, does it work both ways ?

[Herr_Doktor]

since some of the "nasty black ghetto type women" only see any guys (even "real" BF's) for the money to a large extent, they can see you as a potential "real" GF and are able to connect.

I guess in a sense that’s my point. The GFE is somewhat enhanced in each case by reflecting what I perceive as being credible reasons for a civilian woman wanting to sleep with me: Thus a woman whose age/race/culture/personality is more or less consistent with the kind of woman who might believably date me for myself, a rapport and a mental/emotional connection of some sort makes the session that much better. But for women who I can’t believe dating me for anything more than my money, I’m fine with things being transparently P4P—in fact, the more obviously fake the provider’s affection, the better.

I agree on your other points—some of the nicest, most down to earth women I’ve met have been the “nasty black ghetto types”, and we have indeed had good rapport, just a much different kind than I’d find with, or want from, say, a white suburban MILF.

And in the past I have dated a girl who was (a little more than) half my age (me 35, she 19) on a non-P4P basis, but she was an extremely emotionally (and physically) mature girl, somewhat intellectual, and a bit of a nerd (though smokin’ hot)—she was definitely an exceptional example of a 19 year old (why I ever let that end I don’t know… but that’s another story). A girl like Myah, on the other hand, is very much a typical 18 year old in her emotional and intellectual level (which is not to diss her at all… she’s a great provider and a sweet girl) and so I find it that much harder to believe her f*cking me for any reason other than P4P.

Maybe it's more a matter of the TYPE of rapport that's established.

[justlooking]

I think HD nailed it here.

It's not strictly a matter of age or race, or even "niceness". It's a matter of, "is this the TYPE of person you could imagine wanting to spend time with, and wanting to spend time with you, non-professionally?"

[Herr_Doktor]

I think HD nailed it here.

It's not strictly a matter of age or race, or even "niceness". It's a matter of, "is this the TYPE of person you could imagine wanting to spend time with, and wanting to spend time with you, non-professionally?"

In the immortal words of Arthur Fonzarelli, "Exactamundo."

[flabbergasted]

Yes, personality makes a big diff. for me and will earn repeat business from me. I like to converse with the provider instead of just strip fuck and leave without a word. If you just wany a quicky place to get off, then no personality is required, at least in my case.

[captain_napalm]

It has been my experience that if a woman is familiar with you, she will treat you better than if you were just some random John.

Me, it depends what I'm looking for; there are some women out there that I would look for at the point, for instance. If they weren't available, I'd go for a plan B-C-D or E.

[missmaxine]

Wow, do I have some mixed feelings about this thread... I guess it's good to see people exercising their right to their own opinions, at any rate.

I think we've covered the point that a good connection mentally paves the way for a good connection physically, which IMO is totally true. If I find myself on a date with a guy that I just can't stand, it's hard (and sometimes impossible) to jump into bed with any enthusiasm... Luckily, most of the guys I've met are true gentlemen, or at least willing to fake it for a night :)

I'm not really a phone person, and I travel a lot so sometimes I'm a bit slow on my *****. So, how do I establish rapport? I only book multi-hour engagements with new gents, which usually start with dinner or at least a few social drinks and conversation. I love to meet new people, and after a brief chat we usually find at least one point of common interest to build our friendship on... or at least spark a bit of curiosity about *other* interests we might share!

[Monk]

That's interesting -- I always saw the first-date, multi-hour appointment requirement as a bit of a scam. If the new client didn't repeat, the provider at least generated at least two "normal" sessions' worth of income from the date. I never thought of it as a way of reaching some sort of comfort level on the providers' behalf! I guess I thought that, once you stepped over the threshold and decided to work in this industry, jumping into bed with a new client was no longer a big deal.

[justlooking]

If you think about it, you can see how wrong it would be to assume anything like that universally.

[Monk]

If you think about it, you can see how wrong it would be to assume anything like that universally.

If you think about it, one of my rolls here as moderator is to be purposely provocative. (But thanks for keeping me "honest," regardless.)

[justlooking]

And as a non-moderator, one of my roles is to obstruct discussion.

[treizecisisase]

"Personality - Does it matter?"

You cann't buy a Personality but you can buy a Fantasy and that is exactly what you are buying. Surrealism of Virtuality meets performance art so whatever your Pain is so to say. Personality or Semaphore, you decide.

[hootchie]

For me...., I would not want any form of on line trail especially if the so called provider was some "pig" with a uniform on hiding like a rat behind a keyboard.


I agree !!
Coppers are spending more and more of their buget in this area....with all the children being abused these days. Get nailed by the coppers and you will be labeled a sexual predator...

[masquerade]

I think HD nailed it here.

It's not strictly a matter of age or race, or even "niceness". It's a matter of, "is this the TYPE of person you could imagine wanting to spend time with, and wanting to spend time with you, non-professionally?"


Yes, exactly. This is why most of the money I made stripping was off of guys within my own demographic, with the exception of the age factor. (and the ones within my own age bracket were always the ones who became the most stupidly enthralled) You know - same race, same general interests, education level, family background, etc. Playing up to whole potential gf thing was extremely lucritive.

[J Burb]

I pick up SW's almost exclusively so theres really little time to build up much rapport or any hopes for a GFE , however it does still happen sometimes and even in this realm there is always an initial reading and level of trust you and the provider must quickly make with one another in order to both be at ease with the transaction. I find this process is always a two way street where your personality counts just as much as thiers does.

Treat a provider like a worthless piece of ghetto fuck meat that you couldnt give two shits about if she dropped dead on the street 5 minutes after sucking you off and thats exactly the attitude your going to get back! Treat her like a real human being though, one who could be your neighbor, sister, or long time friend who is just trying to make ends meet like anyone else, and you are almost always garanteed a much more positive interaction that will likely be of higher mileage.

I'm no pushover when it comes to SW's either because you cant be and just as much need to project the vibe that your not about to put up with any games or bullshit either, but thats still no reason you cant also be polite, friendly, and treat them with a complete dignity up until the point they give you some kind of reason they dont deserve it which in that case your the one holding the cash and always have the ecomnomic power to say no.


depending on the girl, you may be able to actually get a better rapport - I can truly say that some of the most "GFE type" experiences have been with girl who you would definitely classify as "nasty black ghetto types".

This has been my experience too. Its often the more overtly classy type of providers that have the most uncooperative rutheless bitchy attitudes cause they think they're much better then the average provider and that the universe of men owes them something extra. Those black ghetto types can really be down to earth and cool as hell to hang with if they're not complete whacked out addicts.

You see this same difference among strip clubs. The lower end ghetto Go Go's are almost always much more relaxed and fun with far better milage than the higher end Gentlemens Clubs. When the girls are friendly its usually for real too. I'd gladly choose some fat ass but friendly 40 yr old Latin or Black ghetto provider any day over some 25 yr old pretentious bleach blond silicone bimbo thats gonna give me bad attitude and a rash of shit.

[Slinky Bender]

My ATF underground girl was an example of this: she was fairly pretty (but had scoliosis and a big zipper down her back). Most of the time when she walked into the club, she'd come over, say hello and give me a little kiss, and then nothing more than another kiss goobye when she left. Once every three or four visits, she'd grab me, push me up against the nearest wall, and stick her tongue down my throat for about 15 minutes, then unbuckle my belt, stick her hands down my pants, and go back to kissing me for another 15 minutes (yes, in front of the whole club). At the end of this first half hour, she'd grab me by the hand and drag me upstairs (or downstairs, depending on which location we were at), and blow me for about 1/2 hour. Then we'd fuck for 1/2 hour, then she'd finish me off with a 15 minute blowjob. Since she was so exceptional, I paid her more than I usually paid at that spot ($100 ;) ), and waited for the next time she got horney.(although I don't think she would ever so it for "free", I think the money was a crutch, and that if I gave her $30 she wouldn't have said anything).

[Monk]

J Burb, I don't know enough about the street scene to know whether they get that many repeat customers. I get the impression that SWs business comes mostly from different clients each night. And the way that the street scene tends to work is that you take a quick look at the girl and make a snap judgment as to whether to hire her services or not, doesn't it? So, in that case, personality has very little to do with how she sells herself. Her appearance has much more to do with the type of customer she will attract.

I've told this story before, but, years ago there was a brothel in a townhouse on East 51st Street between 2nd & 3rd Aves. During peak periods, they'd have around 10 providers working at the same time. You'd be brought into a room with all of them, make your choice and she would take you to a room. One of the girls told me once that she was working on the night of the Superbowl. So she bought a t-shirt with the name and number of one of the quarterbacks printed on it and wore it all night. She said she got picked every time by every John! Personality had nothing to do with it that night -- she just knew what was on every guy's mind when he walked into that house, and communicated quickly by investing a few bucks in one shirt.

[Slinky Bender]

J Burb, I don't know enough about the street scene to know whether they get that many repeat customers. I get the impression that SWs business comes mostly from different clients each night. And the way that the street scene tends to work is that you take a quick look at the girl and make a snap judgment as to whether to hire her services or not, doesn't it? So, in that case, personality has very little to do with how she sells herself. Her appearance has much more to do with the type of customer she will attract.

there are a LOT of SW's who get a LOT of repeat biz. Haven't you read any of teh SW threads on UG?


I've told this story before, but, years ago there was a brothel in a townhouse on East 51st Street between 2nd & 3rd Aves. During peak periods, they'd have around 10 providers working at the same time. You'd be brought into a room with all of them, make your choice and she would take you to a room. One of the girls told me once that she was working on the night of the Superbowl. So she bought a t-shirt with the name and number of one of the quarterbacks printed on it and wore it all night. She said she got picked every time by every John! Personality had nothing to do with it that night -- she just knew what was on every guy's mind when he walked into that house, and communicated quickly by investing a few bucks in one shirt.

You sure that happened to you? I've heard that story told before.......... :p

[J Burb]

J Burb, I don't know enough about the street scene to know whether they get that many repeat customers. I get the impression that SWs business comes mostly from different clients each night. And the way that the street scene tends to work is that you take a quick look at the girl and make a snap judgment as to whether to hire her services or not, doesn't it? So, in that case, personality has very little to do with how she sells herself. Her appearance has much more to do with the type of customer she will attract.

Yes and no,
A SW's repeat customer ratio really depends on the her and how she wants to work it but its usually a mixture of both. SW's who own a cell phone and provide decent service get the most repeat buisiness. One's who have no phone but still provide decent service and can always be found in the same spot would be next. Lastly is the wandering unreliable crack hoe who is lucky to see the same face twice or even remember it if she did.

As for johns, thier preferences vary too. Some like a fresh new face every single time and its all about that snap judgement of looks, while others prefer the safety and regular interaction of reliable repeats in which case her personality becomes completely relevent because the john ends up building a long term rapport with her.

The primary point of my original post was more to demonstrate that a mongers personality counts just as much as the girls, ESPECIALLY with SW's because you have very little time to size eachother up and however you behave toward her is directly going to effect how she behaves toward you. I've done mostly quick one time hits myself cause I like the variety but will still drop any girl right back off at in an instant if I sense a foul personality is going to ruin my good time. As for the SW's that I have picked up multiple times, looks were the least important factor in that but they all had very easygoing, pleasant, and accomodating demeanors that I really appriciated and I gave right back to them. I've actually sometimes found myself riding around with certian really cool SW's for a couple hours just talking, fucking, and getting fast food afterwards as they sometimes need a friendly face to interact with too. Its how I learned a lot of what I know about them.

So yes, personality with SW's really can count for a lot!

[Slinky Bender]

I like the one's who's personality has really big tits.

[J Burb]

I like the one's who's personality has really big tits.

LOL......and I dig those really "Big Ass" personalties!

[vodkak]

LOL......and I dig those really "Big Ass" personalties!

My mother is a streetwalker.

[Monk]

You sure that happened to you? I've heard that story told before.......... :p

It's entirely possible that I live the hobbying life vicariously through other posts that I read. (Sort of like Ronald Reagan recounting fictional stories he'd read in Reader's Digest as factual accounts.) But unlikely.

It is likely, though, that we fucked the same whore 10 years ago who told us the same damn story! :p

[drwoowoo]

I think personality is important to me. I like someone who wants to do more than just fuck. Like the guy earlier, if I just wanted to get off fast, I could just jerk myself off real quick. I like the intimacy involved. The first time I was with an escort, it was pretty much, just some titty play, some oral then we fucked. She wouldnt even let me kiss her. I think the best thing I took from that experience was the cuddling we did afterwards. I like cuddling afterwards. Thats a vital part of the GFE for me.