Who knows about your hobby?

[frog]

Just out of curiosity, do you guys have friends in the real world who know about your hobby? Do any of the ladies have friends in the real world who know about your profession?

[cframp]

I'd say more, but, well, God, no!

[frog]

I forgot to answer. Yes, there are some friends who know that I hobby. No females on that list though.

[Ozzy]

two or three friends, but they all do it too. just not with the same calibur of woman.

[Geezy Muldoon]

Not a soul.

[Edited by Judge Crater on 07-26-2001 at 11:47 AM]

[jmcurry]

Every interested single male and several married guys, in my subsection of our office, know about the hobby and my involvement in it. They ask for reviews and recommendations, and often request that I introduce them to providers whom I have seen. I willingly oblige. There are few secrets in our office.

[Ezrlove]

Originally posted by jmcurry
Every interested single male and several married guys, in my subsection of our office, know about the hobby and my involvement in it. They ask for reviews and recommendations, and often request that I introduce them to providers whom I have seen. I willingly oblige. There are few secrets in our office.


JM, I am jealous of you. I wish I could discuss the hobby with some friends or co workers. Although my x wife knows I partake in the hobby and she enjoys reading my reviews. We were swingers before we got divorced.

[jmcurry]

I may be in a unique work situation. At least half of our staff is comprised of single males, who travel so frequently that each person's lifestyle precludes intimacy at home. Accordingly, we all bond around our "hobby" experiences. I have been in this job for many years, and I have never been able to establish a permanent relationship because I am "on the road" from March to September, (or more recently, over the past 5 years, until mid to late October). Accordingly, my colleagues talk about our ventures in the hobby whenever we are together. We share experiences and learn from each other's positive and negative encounters. We all know what we do, and we translate that into useful information. Ideally, all work situations should afford this type of discourse.

[Slinky Bender]

"do you guys have friends ... who know about your hobby?"

Yeah. About 800 of them. :)

[Ozzy]

i don't think frog ment the imaginary kind......

now did you take your prozac today.




that zing was for rufus....;)

[Geezy Muldoon]

watching.

[Edited by Judge Crater on 07-26-2001 at 11:48 AM]

[Ozzy]

a sport that will be gone forever in about 8 months.

[Slinky Bender]

JC,
I think you're on the wrong side of the binoculars....

[One Eyed Trouser Trout]

I'd say more, but, well, God, no!

In my case God knows. And I'm sure LE knows from the boards. A few anonymous guys know. And a slew of prostitutes know.

A few close friends know of my past, and they think it's over.

My priest knows, and he's asking me for the URLs (Sorry God...that was a joke).

I'd guess American Express, Visa and Mastercard know. I mean, how many times can you justify a 500 dollar consulting fee in Vegas?????

My dog knows.

OETT

[Ozzy]

next time hide the dog first and don't let the girls play with her when your done......

they can smell you on them........those jealous bitch's

[justme]

Close friends and only close friends.

[jmcurry]

I am certain my cat knows, but he would never reveal that to anyone.

[Stanley Schwarz]

2 friends and tech people

[robnotbob]

A couple of guys at work. I've told one or two OTHER close friends that I have been to MPs, but only two others know how far down that "slippery slope" I've fallen (and I can't get up).

[frog]

funny how we don't let any women know about our hobby. Am I afraid to look pathetic?

[pswope]

Only friends that I've met through the boards,although I did discover,quite by accident, that the father of my kid's classmate was a fellow whorehound and poster. He does not know that I do.

I have no doubt that there are others I "know" in my "other" life,who exist in this netherworld.

[Geezy Muldoon]

Like Stephen Dedalus in Ulysses..

[Edited by Judge Crater on 07-25-2001 at 01:24 PM]

[frog]

I wonder if part of the reason we "hang out" here is to be able to talk about crap that we otherwise cannot elsewhere. I mean, jc, do you go to confession about your hobby?

jc, see if you can find a copy of the Feb 2001 Esquire magazine. There's a piece on adultery. It's this issue but the article is not online:

http://www.esquire.com/esquireindex/2001/010200_mtc_bellucci01.html

[Edited by frog on 02-15-2001 at 03:28 PM]

[robnotbob]

Now frog, you have hit a funny bone that hurts. I am a Catholic, but haven't been to confession in quite a while. A year and change ago I started "hobbying". Now I can't bring myself to go to confession again.

See I guess you were right. I comisserate here ecuase I can't anywhere else.

[frog]

it's okay rnb, I forgive you.

[pswope]

Frog
I think one of the primary aspects of whore boards is that Johns obtain some sort of validation that our behavior is in some fashion acceptable. You referenced at reluctance to share this part of your life. Many of us hid eit because we perceive that it is in some fashion inappropriate,immoral,or whathaveyou.
Participation on these boards reveal that "most" johns are just rank and file men running the gamut socially,ethinically,financially etc.

By recognizing that this behavior is shared by so many that are in many respects alike, we see our behavior as perhaps less deviant.
Whether this tiny microcosm of males should provide validation is another issue.

For me,once I realized Mr NY was doing this,I increased my activity three fold.

[Geezy Muldoon]

article.

[Edited by Judge Crater on 07-26-2001 at 11:48 AM]

[frog]

ps -- I hope you are not trying to keep up with MrNY, oyvey.

[frog]

jc, it is not the current issue as the March one is out, but you might be able to find it. Monica Belluci covered with beluga looks pretty good too.

[pswope]

Frog
I'd need 3 penises to keep up with Mr NY.

[justme]

Like Stephen Dedalus in Ulysses (a book I am currently re-reading to see whether I have become Bloom), I shall refrain from praying to God when she requests me to do so on her deathbed.

Dunno, Kinch, it didn't work out well for him, did it?

I've often wondered whether Hispanic Catholics have it better or worse than you poor Irish bastards.

[guy catelli]

Originally posted by robnotbob
Now frog, you have hit a funny bone that hurts. I am a Catholic, but haven't been to confession in quite a while. A year and change ago I started "hobbying". Now I can't bring myself to go to confession again.

See I guess you were right. I comisserate here ecuase I can't anywhere else.

in reviewing Peter Brooks's Troubling Confessions http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0226075850/qid%3D982275379/105-2194398-7098357 for The New Criterion, http://www.newcriterion.com Marc M. Arkin writes:

"Confession is all the rage these days .....

"... Peter Brooks ... takes this fascination one step further and concludes that confession--the personal revelation of otherwise hidden and frequently shameful facts about the self--is at the heart of the modern identity. Citing Foucault, he tells us that 'the practice of confession creates the metaphors of innerness that it claims to explore: without the requirement of confession--one may overstate the issue--there might be nothing inward to examine.' In a 'world of massification', confession fulfills the function of assuring each of us that he is still 'a unique individual with a unique story to tell.'

"Professor Brook traces this 'confessional model' of society and the self to the Fourth Lateran Council in 1215, which, at one and the same time, issued a profession of dogma, established an inquisition for the extirpation of heresy, and imposed the requirement of yearly auricular confession on the faithful. Since then, he argues, confession has occupied a central place in our culture .... the confessional mode permeates every corner of life, from the popular media, literature, and psychiatry, to the law, where confession retains its ecclesiastical status as the 'queen of proofs.'"

[jmcurry]

SB: Yes, I would be, and am, on the other side of the glass.

Generally, I see no need to reveal our participation in the hobby at confessional. Of course, that may explain my absence from church since my return from southeast asia in the early 70s, although other factors certainly played into that decision. Without opening the entire ontological argument, suffice it to say that the hobby, at least in today's society, should not be avoided because of later fears of eternal damnation. Even if that were the case, we could converse with many presidents of our nation; what could be better? I personally fear Rudy more than any deity. He can actually impede the hobby, here in Manhattan.

[Geezy Muldoon]

thinking perverts.

[Edited by Judge Crater on 07-26-2001 at 11:49 AM]

[frog]

jc, if it does happen in his mind, isn't that real enough? I mean, I think I had GFE therefore I did.

[jmcurry]

I see Decartes doing cartwheels in his grave. I fuck, therefore I am. This is a cool way to critique modernity, while it also justifies our involvement in the hobby.

[Geezy Muldoon]

That's the ticket. Every pervert a Wittgenstein. Every provider an equation to be solved with pure logic down to the last hair on her anus.

[justme]

frog - Perhaps I'm misunderstanding JC, but I think what he's saying is that in order for orgasm to be a religeous experience it must be accompanied by rapture. I think what he's trying to say is that it is very difficult to get that level of corporal enlightenment while in the context of a commercial transaction, which tends to be less deep. Perhaps he's seeking seeking a more steady partner. We should all bow our heads at such a noble act of devotion.

[Julienyc]

When ever I am asked what I do for a living ,I usually just say I have a nail salon. My family thinks I am getting money from my X husband, only some of my good friends know ,because they are in the same line of work. One day on a flight to Ohio ,I was asked what I do for a living and for no apparent reason ,I said I was a Madam and then I laughed and the gentleman asked for a business card, I had a great flight and made light of the whole thing. For some reason that day it just came out. Now he is a regular at the place. I do find I must be very careful when being honest about what I do. I have lost a few so called friends by telling them about my way of life.

[guy catelli]

now we are getting somewhere. as Jung, Campbell, and virtually everyone else who has ever studied the subject, have written, sexuality has been (one form of) of spirituality in all times and places, until the Judeo-Xtian-Islamic tradition sundered the natural and the supernatural.

as this tradition has waned in the west, especially among urban dwellers and the educated, generic 'spirituality' in general, and sexual spirituality in particular, have made increasing, though still relatively miniscule, gains.

various disciplines that synthesize eros and psyche include tantra, wicca, magick, paganism, and many others. a simple search of these terms on http://www.deja.com and yahoo will turn up many resources on these subjects.

these spiritual disciplines tend to be female-centered, and this fact in particular was a bone of contention (so to speak ;)) for ethical monotheism. in other words, the combination of religion and sexuality was giving women too much power. thus the fanatical drive to restrict the role of female sexuality to procreation, and the stigmatizing of women who enjoyed, and used as a tool for power, sexuality as 'whores'. (note: unlike us, these people think that calling someone a 'whore' is a pejorative.)

some scoff: how spiritual can it be if the 'priestesses' charge money? well, that's a question that skeptics have asked about religion ever since the first building fund drive. but, male clerics can't live on air in a field of lilies, and neither can 'sacred prostitutes', as the ancients called them.

is abstinence and celibacy a higher form of spirituality -- as religions (both eastern and western) have traditionally taught? i will never have a personal answer to this question.

but, the point is that spirituality is a fancy word for spiritedness. and, no matter what anyone says, there is a certain spiritedness or spirituality associated with sexuality. if someone wants to say that their sexuality is operating on a higher spiritual plane because their priestess doesn't 'pass the plate' until after the service, i don't mind. but, if someone says that for that reason it's not spiritual at all, then they still don't get it.

[Geezy Muldoon]

ironic

[Edited by Judge Crater on 07-26-2001 at 11:50 AM]

[frog]

I reach rapture about 33% of the time. My goodness, Wednesday night was unbelievable.

[frog]

and the other 67% ain't bad either.

[HornDogBuddah]

In the words of the 20th C philospher Woody Allen, the worst orgasm that I ever had was.....terrific.

[guy catelli]

Originally posted by HornDogBuddah
In the words of the 20th C philospher Woody Allen, the worst orgasm that I ever had was.....terrific.

in one movie he turned to the audience and grinned, "every one on the money!"

[justme]

If it will help with your modesty the bow was also quite ironic.