ISO opinion/advice for newbie....

[joquien]

Hey everybody. I'm probably breaking a rule for this being my first post but i have nowhere else to go with this question and its been eating me up inside. I've never used a provider or a massage parlor or anything before, though lately ive been fairly tempted, which is why i even know of this site. Its been a long 5 years of being desperately single and i've been looking into this kind of stuff. But before i dove right into this stuff i decided to start light by simply going into a strip club.

I've been before, but only for friends bachelor parties. It was fun but nothing "extra" happened. So this time i decided to go by myself. Well i went into this place, it was ok. Some of the woman were nice looking, though i think a couple of the woman who came around for dollars were over 50.. but i digress. Anyway, this woman got on stage, not a model or anything fake or anything, she was just my type of girl. I mean, if i had to describe on a piece of paper all of the qualities i enjoy in a woman physicaly, she had 95% of them. I was enthralled, i tipped generously and later she came to me for a dance.. eaiest sell she ever had:-). So i ended up spending entirely too much on dances with her... nothing extra happened, but it was still great. Well i spent all of my pocket money and then some, so after the dance we went to the atm so i could get the rest for her and i figured to myself.. well thats all the money im willing to spend, ill pay her and go home with happy memories. Well, after i paid her she asked if i wanted a drink..

Now i'm not stupid. I spent alot of money on her and she obviously could tell i was smitten with her.. so she was probably just trying to set up a relationship as a steady customer. Figure if she throws me a bone i would be back to spend entirely too much money again... which is fine with me, i understand its the nature of her business and i wont begrudge her for it. Well, i figured what the hell else do i have to do tonight?

So i sat with her a little figuring she would flirt and act interested in what i had to say and then as i left, get me to promise to come back. But we started talking about real stuff. She told me he real name. . told me about family and her background... i told her what i did for a living and she was in a similar field for her day job. She told me about her ex boyfriend,we talked about being single watching all of our friends getting married... then she asked for my number, saved it on her cell and called me so i would have hers. she said i should go to this wedding she has to go to with her....

Now this is where my alarm starts going off. Now, i dont have much experience with this.. but does this sound real? I would have been totally fine going home understanding the nature of the stripper/client relationship until some of this started coming up... the phone numbers, name, family talk.. actual talk of heading out together. She said to call her that night.. i did, figuring that i really didn;t have much to lose with a phone call, and she wasn't there.

Now, to me her intentions could have sounded genuine... but part of me is wondering, what kind of dancer picks up a client? Now if i was some great looking guy with money,... maybe. But im neither great looking NOR do i have much money, and she knew that when i told her what i did for a living. And she CLEARLY could do better then me. So what does she have to gain by setting up this relationship? or am i being to negative and suspicious?

So thats the opinion i wanted from you all.. whats going on here? Should i believe it all to be genuine? or should i dismiss it as dancer/client relations?

I'm just making sure my single desperation won't lead me into doing something stupid:-)

[Normus Johnson]

Go to the "Hooked On a Specific Provider" thread, don't stop until you read the whole thread, and then come back her and tell us what YOU think!

[joquien]

Thanx for the direction. Woke my stupid ass up. I should learn to listen to my spidy sense tingling;-)

[Captain Kirk]

Thanks for the fun read. The art of removing you from your money is a long and practiced art.

[brykster]

just to play devil's advocate and because i am in a verrry similar situation, ride it out. see where it goes. like you said, it's just the cost of a phone call. just don't be a fool or let yourself get taken advantage of...and don't fall in love.

in my situation, i met a dancer...not really out of my league so to speak; but attractive none-the-less, gave her a half assed version of my number on a napkin i must've poked six holes in. anyways, much to my surprise, she called a couple of day later...so i hesitantly called her back (i'm not into the whole outside the club prostitution thing) and i was very blunt, i said "is this business or something else?" she responded rather embarrased and said "just come over. i want to see you." anyways, got to her place, picked her up and took her to dinner...nice enough convo. on the way home, she says "you want to come up?" i say, "it's getting late", she says "c'mon." i say, "o.k." anyways, i get up there and we're going at it (kissing and stuff.) now, she takes my cock out and just before putting her mouth on it she says, "look, i know you said what you said; but would it be o.k. if i borrow 23 bucks for some medicine"...so what am i gonna say? "fine," we wind up fucking , 69...the whole deal for 23 bucks. i know i don't like to pay; but i spent 60 on lap dances with her just 3 days prior; and got nothing compared to what i just got for 1/2 that, so i'm not too upset (actually, not upset at all...so not upset that on my way through the Checkers drive through, i call a pan handler over to me, hand him a five and say, "hey, i just got layed." he's like, "MAH NIGGAH!!!" and gives me a high five...so naturally i search for a sink and some soap before burger time : )

so the relationship continues the same way for a few months now. we get together, we fuck, she may ask me for some paltry sum...or not ask, at which time, i drop 40 bucks on the nightstand on my way out and say, "this is to help you out with groceries (my financials may be quite different than yours; because to me, she lives in squaller (Paterson) and i know that money can be hard to come by...plus, again, to me 40 bucks is nothing...i loook at it this way, A) if i didn't see her, i'd be going to a club and spending at least 100 on less satisfying dances B) if i actually had to take her out for dates (other than for that first time), i'd be spending about that on dinner and a movie. C) the dancer's life is one of chaos...it's unsteady income at best and just because she asks for money, does not mean that she doesn't have feelings of some sort...it's merely what she is conditioned to be)

anyways, somewhere in there, things changed...i put some of my heart into it. i started to call every day...just to say "hi." at that point, she bagan to answer her phone less and less...only picking up when she wanted to see me (a.k.a. needed the money). so i realized what the fuck am i doing and i stopped calling....completely!

well now, the tides have turned. she is now calling me almost every day. in fact, i cam in last night from a night of clubbing around P-Town and got a voice mail asking me if we could could spend Easter together...we, in fact, can not (i spent all the money i wish to spend on sex this weekend; and i've busted nut just as much as i need to to be satisfied (a.k.a. there's nothing in it for me right now, so it ain't gonna happen.))

anyways, the long and the short is that i am still weary of her motivations; but as long as i proceed with caution (ie. be frugal with both my money and my emotion), there is no real threat here. secondly, my opinion on paying for sex outside the club has changed quite considerably and i now have a collection of 6 dancer's phone numbers; although, i haven't used anyone's as my first keeps me busy enough. thirdly, i justify this all by knowing the simple fact that the man ALWAYS pays...one way or another. ask any married guy how much they've paid over the years to get laid...kinda makes the 20 to 30 bucks i part with seem trivial.

the moral as it pertains to you: don't be completely dismissive and a total naysayer...call once, twice maybe three times...the same as you'd do with a regular chick who gives you her number. just proceed with caution and don't get emotionally invested (for you, it sounds like there's no real danger of becoming financially invested.) keep in mind mind what you spent in LD's or any other sum you feel justified in spending for sex; and set that as the bar for any extra carriculars. worse that can happen is she'll say "not enough" in which case, you'll have your answer. in addition, if she doesn't answer your calls at all, you'll also have your answer (don't play headgames with yourself: not calling you back = i am not interested in you in that way...PERIOD).

as long as you keep your wits about you, there is no real risk. don't follow along with the pessimistic crowd, sometimes (extremely rarely) good things happen for unexplainable reasons.

last point, if either of the scenarios above yield a negative outcome (ie. it becomes apparent that this is nothing more than a ploy to get you to part with more money than you are comfortable in spending), go to her club where she works and get one dance from every other dancer there...even the ugly ones, except for her. trust me, this will make her feel like the peice of shit she probably is.

now, if you'll excuse me, i have to call my young lass to tell her an Easter get together ain't gonna happen; but that i'll see her during the week. let us know how it turns out.

BTW, i do not consider this question a breach of the rules as it is not of the rhealm of the typical questions you get from rookies...that, and you've padded it in the midst of an entertaining and thought provoking backround...plus, i enjoyed responding to it. that being said, contribute...even if it's just to keep us posted on your saga...

[Slinky Bender]

The only working girls which have broken my heart (and there have been few) never asked me for a penny.

[brykster]

The only working girls which have broken my heart (and there have been few) never asked me for a penny.

yes. exactly. that's why you have to go into it knowing what it is.

BTW, i think a working girl who does not ask for money ain't a working girl...she's just a girl you are dating who happens to have the job of being a prostitute. i mean there are plenty of these girls who are married. i guess it depends how you meet up....if it stems as a result of a service or not. if you meet a "working girl" in a straight bar and start dating her, i don't think you'd consider her a provider.

[Slinky Bender]

How about if you meet her off of a message board?