NJ Clubs Accessible by Public Transportation (PSA)

[jyris]

Seeing no info about this, I thought that I’d post some info regarding NJ clubs that Manhattan-based mongers can access relatively easily, as well as a few comments about what to expect at each. This post will focus on
Newark.

Newark Penn Station is easily accessible from Penn Station via NJ Transit (about a 15-minute ride, fare $ 3.75 each way) or via PATH (about 20 minutes from WTC PATH station, $ 1.50 each way). From there, it’s about a 10-minute taxi ride to one of two “tours.” Fare should be about $ 5.00 - $ 6.00 – make sure the driver turns his meter on, or he’ll quote you some outrageous fare if you look halfway prosperous).

1. Along one eight-block stretch of Ferry Street / Fleming Avenue, there are five clubs that you can hit. Have a taxi drop you off at the most remote, and you can easily work your way back towards the train station. From east to west, the spots are:

George & I (corner of Ferry & Waydell). High sleaze factor. Place has a split personality – seekers of extras sit near the stage (which is tiny – about 4 x 4); pool players and those looking for takeout sit nearer the pool table. Unfortunately, average talent level is pretty low, and the dollar parade is endless – but there are usually one or two decent-looking girls there on any given night (nearly all Brazilian). Plus, this place has the highest drink prices in Newark (still low by NYC standards). Barside HJs near the stage are common, and takeout (even a ten-minute BJ “takeout” to a car parked nearby) is readily available; of course, you won’t have a car. Be creative! Closed Sundays.

Villas Indios (corner of Ferry & Vincent – walking out of George’s, walk opposite traffic flow on Ferry for one LONG block). Moderate to high sleaze factor. Talent varies all over the map. This is the only Newark bar that I know of where “lap dances” are regularly performed (at your barstool – just tip the girl a few singles once in a while). Day shift dancers are mainly Brazilian; Russians arrive around 8:00. If you’re looking for in-club extras, sit in one of the rear corners. Cheap drink prices. Dollar parade inversely proportional to the number of patrons; place is regularly packed after 8:00 or so. Takeout easily arranged.

Don Costa (corner of Fleming & Richard – walking out of Indios, turn right and bear right at the light onto Fleming and keep walking for two blocks). If you’re hungry, Fernandes Restaurant is on your way; it serves great Portuguese and Spanish food, and it’s cheaper than most of the better-known places in the Ironbound. Sleaze factor is low, but talent (all Brazilian or other So-Am) is consistently high. Cheap drinks and a pool table. Low tip pressure. No in-club extras to my knowledge, but takeout easily arranged – ask your barmaid for advice (seriously).

April’s (corner of Fleming and Brill – make a right out of Don Costa and walk one block). Sleaze factor is moderate, talent (Brazilian) varies. Recently-raised drink price rival George’s. Pool table. Tip parade is annoying, but not awful. In-club extras consist of feeble “lap dance” imitations at your barstool, with some roaming and discrete barside HJs if business is slow; sit against the short bar side on the left if you’re interested, and scope out who does what. I have never negotiated takeout here, but friends have and report easy success. Place can be wild one night and annoyingly puritanical the next.

Galicia (corner of Fleming and Christie – left on Fleming out of April’s, walk one block). Place was renovated relatively recently, and seems to be shooting for a more “upscale” (for Newark, that is) feel. Sleaze factor is low, but the talent (more diverse than other area bars, with some Brazilians, some WOC, and some Russians) is normally quite good. Tip parade moderate, drink prices average. HOT Brazilian barmaids, but some have an attitude. No in-club extras, and I have no experience with takeout here. Why go? Hey, it’s your last stop on the way home.

How to get back to Newark Penn Station? If you’re not totally shitfaced, or if you’re nearly broke, you can walk – it’s about fifteen minutes (just keep going up Fleming to Market, then walk up Market to the station. You can take the bus (stops right along Fleming) to the station, but I’m not sure how late it runs. Best bet – have the barmaid call you a cab. For $ 5.00 or so and five minutes, you’re there.

2. For a shorter “taste” of the Brick City, there are two clubs near the east end of Wilson Avenue that are also accessible:

Emigrante (corner of Wilson and Barbara – have a taxi drop you here, since some cabbies get confused about how to get to New York Avenue, where the other joint is). Sleaze factor is next to zero, but the talent (Brazilian mostly, with some Russians thrown in) is gorgeous, as are the barmaids. Cheapest drinks of all. No in-club extras whatsoever, and takeout is a daunting and expensive proposition due to the quality of the talent, but selectively available.

Day After (Corner of New York and Houston – walk out of Emigrante, cross the street, and walk up the side street next to the mini-mall; make a right on New York and walk one block). Sleaze factor moderate to high, and talent varies. I haven’t spent much time in this place, but I’ve witnessed (not participated in) takeout hookups almost every timeat shift change, and others report the occasional barside HJ, although there isn’t really any privacy. Drink prices higher than would seem to be justified by the talent and atmosphere.

To get back to the train, you can walk up Wilson to Ferry and take it to the station (again, about a fifteen-minute walk), or have your barmaid call you a cab.

3. Just remember that NJ Transit does NOT run all night, so don’t miss the last train (actually, PATH does run all night, but not too frequently after midnight). Have fun and be safe.

[megajimbo69]

A very helpful and selfless post. Thanks!!!!

Someday I'll try and collect my admittedly limited knowledge into this kind of compendium.

[lamont5123]

jyris,

Man, that was an excellent post and review.

Very detailed and your directions are fantastic.

Many thanks.

[aceofclubs26]

That was an awesome post! Due to my love of Brazilian women I always wanted to venture out to the ironbound section of Newark. You have made that trip much clearer with your post. The perfect description as mentioned earlier...."selfless".

[firefightertom]

That post will help thi shore based guy. Thanks

[redstinger1967]

Being that I work in NJ I am definately going to hit a few of these spots, thanks for the information. Mmmmmm where should I go first? :)

[Mr. User Name]

Excellent report ! I will attest to its accuracy.

[jyris]

Some additional NJ suggestions for the driving-averse:

Bound Brook

I know that NYC dwellers are going to think that Bound Brook is somewhere near the Mississippi River, but actually it’s about one hour from Penn Station. Fare $ 9.50 one way or $ 16.00 round trip if you’re not traveling during rush hour. Take any train going to Newark Penn Station and transfer to the Raritan Valley Line there (Track 5, I believe).

Within an easy walk, there are three joints to visit. Since you’re presumably sober when you arrive, I’d recommend that you walk to the most distant first and work your way back to the train station (you’ll see the other two on the way). The most distant is Sensations on Talmadge Avenue – exiting the station, walk left on Main Street for five minutes or so. Main Street bears right and becomes Talmadge Avenue. Whole trip should take you ten minutes.

Sensations was recently reviewed here; they just reopened under this name after apparently extensive renovations. I have not been to the renovated place yet, so I can’t comment. Bound Brook clubs allow lap dances, however, so at least some fun should be possible.

Retracing your steps, your next stop would be Ooh-La-Las (who thinks up these stupid names, anyway?). Daytime dancers mainly Brazilian, nights bring out the Brighton Beach contingent (Russians). Drinks are reasonable, food is decent, tip parade is not unbearable, and lap dances were $ 20.00 last time I was there. Mileage varies – I’d recommend that you nurse a drink or two and see who the popular girls are; they’re popular for a reason. I’ve heard that regulars get better and more varied service, but I’m hardly a regular, and had no trouble roaming at will and getting HR for another $ 20.00 (during the day with the Brazilians; can’t vouch for the Russians).

Last stop – right next to the station – is Torpedoes. I’ve always thought of this place as a sports bar with dancers – tons of TVs (televisions, that is), half a dozen pool tables. Well lit and zero sleaze at the bar, but the dancers are usually decent-looking and friendly. Lap dances available, but I’ve never heard of any extras.

Last train eastbound leaves at 11:57, and there’s really no alternative, so don’t miss it.

Dover

Showplace in Dover has its own thread here. I was a regular there about ten years ago, and in-club extras weren’t available at the time. That has apparently changed dramatically for the better. The club is over a mile from the station, but the neighborhood isn’t bad. There’s a taxi service right next to the train station in Dover if you’re lazy, drunk, or in a hurry.

From Penn Station, Dover is about an hour and twenty minutes away. Fare $ 10.50 one way or $ 18.00 round trip if you’re not traveling during rush hour. Exit the station and walk right on East Blackwell Street to South Salem Street; make a right on South Salem. Showplace is on the left near Route 10. It’s a long trip and a long walk, and there’s only one club to visit when you get there; read the appropriate thread and decide whether it’s worth it to you. BTW, last direct train to midtown leaves at 9:18 PM; later trains will take you to Hoboken, where you can pick up PATH to NYC. Last train 12:35 AM.

Paterson

There’s plenty of information here about Paterson clubs; I can’t add much, except to say that the Market Street trio of clubs is a short walk from Paterson station; cross under the tracks when you exit the station and walk about six blocks west on Market Street. Fare $ 5.50 one way or $ 9.00 round trip (off-peak). You have to transfer at Secaucus; total trip is about 45 minutes. Last train back leaves at 11:30 PM. I’m sure that excursions to some of the more remote Paterson bars can be arranged via taxi or whatever, but since I’ve never done it I’ll refrain from any concrete suggestions.

Happy New Year!

[jyris]

BTW, if you do the Bound Brook trip, you'll be switching trains at Newark on your way back. If you have a whole afternoon/evening to kill and a lot of money, you can hit both towns on one excursion.

[lamont5123]

jyris,

Dosen't the Newark City Subway go to Bound Brook, too?

[jyris]

No. Newark City Subway ends on Bloomfield Avenue near the Bloomfield/North Newark line.

[robotiko]

Thanks for the Newark info jyris, most informative and helpful! I haven't been to the Ironbound section in years but remember sampling a few of the spots you mention. I think I'll make a return soon.

Now here's a silly question in regards to hj's at bars. Never got one. Never seen one being given. But where in the hell does the guy finish? On the floor, in her hand, napkin?? Messy I would think!

[jyris]

Thanks for the Newark info jyris, most informative and helpful! I haven't been to the Ironbound section in years but remember sampling a few of the spots you mention. I think I'll make a return soon.

Now here's a silly question in regards to hj's at bars. Never got one. Never seen one being given. But where in the hell does the guy finish? On the floor, in her hand, napkin?? Messy I would think!

I think this question has been covered in the Rah-Rah's thread. Yes, it's messy, but since none of the Newark bars that I know of has a private lapdance area or anything like that, there's really no choice. Most of the girls (and guys) try to be reasonably discrete. If you're in George's or Villas Indio's, you'll see a lot of guys sitting in the darker corners with a dancer on her "off" set who suddenly have to go to the john right after the girl leaves to get back up on stage. Since the bathrooms never seem to have any paper towels, they all come out with wet hands.

[jyris]

jyris,

Dosen't the Newark City Subway go to Bound Brook, too?

You were probably thinking of Branch Brook (Park) in Newark.

[JerseyDan]

Titallations is walking distance from the Bloomfield train station. One New York dancer let me in on that one..

[blane17]

Titallations is walking distance from the Bloomfield train station. One New York dancer let me in on that one..

titillations is within walking distance from watsessing train station. Heartbreakers (ugh) is walking distance from bloomfield train station.

[wired1]

Great post!!!

Is ShowOffs in W Orange reasonable by public transportation?

How much are we talking for a taxi from there to Newark?

Thanks!

[blane17]

Great post!!!

Is ShowOffs in W Orange reasonable by public transportation?

How much are we talking for a taxi from there to Newark?

Thanks!

Showoffs is not that close to public transportation. Taxi, which I've done several times, is $30-$40 from Newark Penn Station. I could be wrong, but I think Watsessing station in Bloomfield is closer to SO's than Newark Penn Station. I would rather be stuck though in Newark Penn Station than the area around Watsessing.

[jyris]

Great post!!!

Is ShowOffs in W Orange reasonable by public transportation?

How much are we talking for a taxi from there to Newark?

Thanks!

Showoffs is about a mile from Orange station on the Morris and Essex lines, which run direct from Penn Station (during rush hour, anyway). Otherwise, take the PATH to Hoboken and transfer to the M&E. Neighborhood between the station and the bar is questionable -- take a cab for sure. I'm not familiar with Orange station, so I don't know if cabs typically line up at the station; find and call a local cab company to meet you. Fare to the bar should only be about $ 5.00. Cab back to Newark would be about $ 30.00.

[wheninvegas2005]

Jyris, A+. You're like the UG version of Mapquest/Google. Nice job!

Last time I was at Titillations in bloomfield (which has it's own thread) there wa absolutely no roaming in the LD areas.

[Waru]

Jyris:
"Since you’re presumably sober when you arrive, I’d recommend that you walk to the most distant first and work your way back to the train station."

So that's what i've been doing wrong?
Great posts, Jyris. Thanks

[brykster]

Now here's a silly question in regards to hj's at bars. Never got one. Never seen one being given. But where in the hell does the guy finish? On the floor, in her hand, napkin?? Messy I would think!

odds are if you are really concerned about this, it's probably not the experience for you. that being said, a friend of mine throws on a condom for handies. you may want to follow suit.

[wheninvegas2005]

I thought it was a fair question. Who wants to walk around with cum stains on their pants. I guess if you know the odds are good for a HJ, packing some wet wipes/condom might not be a bad idea.

[JamesRoweSr]

First of all, I must also compliment jyris on an outstanding post. When I first read it, I had the same feeling someone gets when they watch a movie and they just know they have to visit where it takes place. Hey, some people want to see the Eiffel Tower, others want to ski the Swiss Alps, and yet others want to go out into the rugged terrain and get jerked off by a dancer right at the bar.

In preparation, I made sure that I had eaten well for the trip. I was going to pack a meal, but I wasn't sure of the reaction if I opened a brown bag and revealed a PB&J. (I know this site has a lot of acronyms...for those unfamiliar, PB&J is peanut butter and jelly).

Unlike jyris, I was ready to begin my exploration in a vehicle. So I contacted AAA and asked them for a travel kit. I gave them the five destinations and asked if there were any one star motels in the vicinity, preferably with an hourly rate and with a non-smoking and crab-free environment.

OK, that last paragraph was an attempt at a little humor. I didn't call AAA, but I did go to Google Maps and banged in all five locations. I even flipped to satellite view, which was useless, but I felt cool. I decided to skip George & I and Galicia, based on the reviews, and do Villas Indios, Don Costa, and April's.

I also opted out of eating at Fernandes, but I have also heard a good review of this place. No, I don't mean mileage from the waiters, I mean the food is supposed to be excellent.

I also copied the jyris post into Microsoft Word (use the word processor of your choice), added the street addresses to the document, and printed it out in a Arial 8-point font. I know people like detailed reviews, so I hope that tidbit helps someone.

I was now armed with a cheat sheet, which made me feel like I was back in high school. Of course, I wish I had taken Portuguese then. I also wish I had studied algebra, because jyris had noted that at my first stop, the dollar parade is "inversely proportional to the number of patrons," which sounded like a lot of math.

When I arrived at Villas Indios, I realized that it wasn't as good an area as the Ironbound section that I knew of. In fact, I still don't even know if this is still considered the Ironbound section. But for those who travel to Paterson or Irvington, this was like Aspen on a crisp winter day, so you wouldn't be phased at all.

I've neglected to mention that I was arriving "commando" for this mission. After all, why let Green Lantern Underoos get in the way of business? I also had brought something to mop up with, based on advice given above. A wet vac seemed overboard, so I opted for tissues.

Mistake number one at Villas Indios was sitting in the center rather than in a corner. I don't like to be near you dirty, filthy mongers, especially when I'm planning to watch the Handy Griffith show, so I got scared and found the most wide open area. That's tough to recover from.

The dancers were very nice. Some had seen better days, like sometime in the early 1960s. But overall it was a solid group, primarily Brazilian with the Russian invasion right on time as jyris projected. The bartenders seemed to be a miserable bunch, but I find that the case in most go go bars. I'm not sure why that is, but if cuntish were a word, I'd use it here.

The dancers were friendly, and being the charmer that I am, I made sure to make fun of them. It's funny how self conscious a chick gets when she parades around half naked looking for tips. For the math students still with us, the nipple flashing was inversely proportional to how they looked, but I was there for more.

The dollar parade was fairly intense, and there really was no place to hide. I blew off a couple at a point, but not to give away the ending, I did what most of us do, I took it out on the bitchy bartenders and left a pathetic tip for them. Yes, you know exactly who you are.

Anyway, I did make some subtle inquiries about a visit to the Human Resources department. But honestly, the place was pretty packed, and with my seat I really knew I was in trouble. That didn't stop me from making a masturbation motion with my fist and then pointing to my crotch. You probably realize that I speak in the universal language of love.

When I exited Villas Indios, I noted a gentleman who looked like he was vehicle watching. Apparently this was the security detail. I threw him a spare dollar, didn't ask for a handy, and realized this area wasn't my idea of fun. Of course I look as tough as Ron Howard, although I have hair.

I hope you all noticed the Handy Griffith/Ron Howard references.

I got lost and lapped around (not in the DATY sense, I mean driving) until I found Don Costa. Again a gentleman was out there acting as security. I threw him a couple of bucks, although a bottle of Colt 45 might have been more appropriate.

Nice place. There was some talent there, but of course the tip of my cock had been rubbing directly against my pants for the past 100 minutes (and had been rubbed briefly in the other establishment, which I forgot to mention), so I was ready to fuck a cantaloupe.

Don Costa also had friendlier bartenders and chit chatty dancers. I like to practice my best pickup lines, like "are they real?" or "which gets sweatier, your pits or your feet?" No, really it was a nice place and a little less dollar pressure. I didn't really have a good game plan here, but I wouldn't be against returning. I also forgot to consult my cheat sheet, which would have told me to talk to the bartenders more. For example:

Me: "Hi. Yes, I know you speak little English, but I'm interested in find out who wants to pull my prick for $.2 either here or in my car."

Bartender: "You want to pay 20 cents?"

Me: "Oh um, no. I spend too much time on UG. Forget it."

Then I figured I'd try April's which I had seen was right across the street.

continued...

[JamesRoweSr]

At April's, I got the "annoyingly puritanical" treatment jyris mentioned could happen. Worse yet, this looked like a casting call to play John Candy in glow in the dark bikinis. Yet, the Department of Homeland Security should secure things as well as these dancers hid their nipples.

It's not good for the self-esteem when this happens.

By the time I found one I'd consider introducing my manhood to (which I was doubting would happen anyway), I had an uninvited dancer sit next to me. She was nice, but not what I was looking for. I tried to find out what the Fort Knox thing was all about, but didn't get too much info.

I should mention that the bartenders kept asking if I wanted another, which I hate, and one shortchanged me on change. Personally, I think it was intentional, but I don't know for sure.

I bet if you got to know some of these dancers, you could get somewhere with them. I would advise Weight Watchers. Regardless, I left with a bad taste in my mouth about this place.

So that slams the lid on this adventure. I finished up with a Filet o' Fish at McDonald's, with large fries, in case historians want to try and recreate my journey. Thanks again jyris and all those who followed with good insight.

[Blackbeard]

Jim,

I appreciate the Proustian exhaustiveness of your post. Very thorough.

I would have done two things differently:

I would have gone to George & I. I would have eaten at Fernandes, not Mickey Dees.

Excellent post though.

[Blackbeard]

Also, excellent post Jyris.

[lamont5123]

Sorry your trip was a bust.

But I enjoyed reading your account.

[jyris]

JRS –

Not sure when you went, but my visit on Saturday night wasn’t much better. Villas, for a change, had some fairly attractive dancers, but there were a couple of well-lubricated guys throwing so much money around and buying so many drinks for the dancers and barmaids that any attempt to gain more than passing interest from one of them would have turned into a spending contest. Who needs that? Stopped by Don Costa for a quick one and got digits off a new Russian that I’d had a few drinks with before New Year’s (would have spent more time there, but she was with some sixty-something dude who was also spending like a sailor on her – figured that I’d let her take his cash and set up an off-premises meeting some other time). Ran into a buddy at April’s who’s dating one of the dancers and stayed for a couple, but nothing much going on.

It’s been said here before, but bears repeating – the Newark clubs are not a sure thing for in-club gratification of immediate needs. If that was your intent, and you were driving, you’d have been better-advised to hit Rah-Rahs, BU, or one of the P-town joints – they’re only a few minutes away by car. My purpose in starting this thread was to offer some suggestions for those who, like me, commute by train to NYC (or Newark or JC) but still want options for an evening out without the expense of the Manhattan clubs, or for those who may want to hit a place or two without worrying about driving afterwards. I’ve never been to Titillations, for example, but I definitely plan to visit after seeing Blane’s info above.