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View Full Version : what I dont know about strip clubs could fill a book!


BigMadM
09-03-2003, 08:15 AM
just wanted to share an incredibly embarrassing moment with all your strip club mavens.
I rarely go to a club, unless dragged before or after a bachelor party, and those days are just about over for anyone I know.
(although, on occasion, while on vacation, I might go to a tittie club with a friend who has had enough of his kids for the week)


So recently, Im on vacation. A long driving vacation.
Not my choice, but my vote doesnt count in my family, Im just the breadwinner.

Im down south, down near Cherokee country. Nothing around but mountains and woods.
We all decide to stop for a nights rest after driving 10 hours.
After 10pm, I decide to go out and fill up car with gas, and search the area for a convenience store to pick up some bottled water and other goodies.
(the hotel was off the exit, and there was not even a store within miles)
So, off I go on my search.
I pass an abandoned gas station and next to it is a building with 2 large front windows, 10ft, by 8ft, each one Id guess.
The windows are covered inside with heavy drapes, looked black, and the windows are edged with violet neon lights all around them.
There are around 7 or 8 cars in front, and I notice a few guys hanging out near one car, it looked like they were just smoking a cig.
I drove by slowly, noticed that the 4 guys were wearing, suits, but I mean one suit was purple, with a big hat.
Im thinking something like a 1970s pimp, but I didnt see no pimp mobiles around.
I figured down here, in gods country, this is the dress wear for a night out.
I scope the place over as I pass by again, and notice a few more guys going in and out, all dressed in suits, or slacks and button down shirts. No jeans, no teeshirts, and its pretty damn hot out this evening.
I find a gas station, food mart about a mile down the road, and notice a few guys in there and they are purchasing some lotto, or some kind of state run game, and cigarettes.
They are also dressed, and I find it funny, because Im in the middle of nowhere, and believe me, I mean nowhere, and all these people are dressed neatly, not my style, but neatly just the same. And I notice that the only people I saw at that neon lit building were men, and these 3 dudes were also in fancy duds and they got into the car a drove past me and pulled into the same building lot.
Now, I have to mention, everyone dude I saw was black.
(I have to be accurate, dont mean anything by it, but it was something I noticed.)
Ok I figure, gotta be a strip club or some kind of gentlemens club.

BigMadM
09-03-2003, 08:21 AM
gotta take a call, be backsoon sorry to finish.

BigMadM
09-03-2003, 08:59 AM
ok, so I decide I just have to go give it a visit, since I have the time to kill, and Id force myself to have a drink, and maybe get something extra.( I keep reading these threads here and Im getting educated about the hussle by these strip club ladies.)
What do I have to lose.
I pulled around back, even though I was being eyeballed by the 4 dudes in front.
I walk around front, the 4 of them stop talking, eye me up and down, and I just nod hello and open the outside door.
There was another door, a couple of feet in, so I went over, and opened it up.
Now, Im expecting to hear some music, see some skanks dancing, or maybe behind the bar, and expect a dank, smoke filled room.
What a fucking shock. Like walking into a suprise party that you really, really didnt know about.
Staring back at me, were around 20 women. All over 300 lbs and fanning themselves because it was hot as hell in there.
Turns out, I walked into some type of Baptist church social event, or get together, and there was rows of chairs, with a small dance floor, noone was on it, but there was some guy at a microphone.
Only the women in back noticed me, and stared at me like I had 4 heads, no of them human.
I was very embarrassed. Felt like the biggest schmuck alive since I had Porsche of LI rip me off.
I recovered from the initial shock, and asked a lady closest to me for directions back to my motel, pretending I was totally lost in this desolate place, being a born and bred city boy.
She was polite, gave me 2 seconds of directions, and I left with 50 pairs of eyeballs on me, I could feel them burning right thru me.
Good thing noone in that room knew why I really came in.

Thats it, nothing ground breaking, but Im amazed that with all the neon lights, and all the dudes hanging out in front, well, you get the picture.(in the middle of nowhere, Id name a town, but that could reveal too much.)
I guess I really dont know shit about strip clubs, so Ill stick to my outcall girls in the future. Theres always a phonebook in any city, and under escorts, or entertainers, theres always at least one number. Even in that part of the country.

justlooking
09-03-2003, 09:01 AM
Should Allen start a Baptist Church Social Event board?

BigMadM
09-03-2003, 09:08 AM
If it wasnt for the small sign I noticed near the dance floor, Id probably still not know what I stumbled into.

I have to get out a little more often I think.(and I dont mean the Kew, the Hollywood, or the Commack Motor inn)

justlooking
09-03-2003, 09:10 AM
There are some GREAT Baptist Sunday morning gospel services/church lunches in Brooklyn.

BigMadM
09-03-2003, 09:11 AM
Thanx Jl, youre a sport for letting me know.

ExLS
09-03-2003, 09:13 AM
BMM, no disrespect, but very funny. Seriously, did you see a sign that named the store, usually that is a hint

BigMadM
09-03-2003, 09:26 AM
no signs, but Ive been in remote places, such as near Roscoe NY, and have noticed busy places without any signage, and they were hopping places.(skanks R us, but titties are titties)

BigMadM
09-03-2003, 09:36 AM
Porsche of LI being one of sebastians girls, not a car dealership.

Casper
09-03-2003, 10:30 AM
BMM this was one funny ass post. Whatm akes it even funnier is the dramatic pause between the posts.... lol

Thanks for the chuckle

shorty
09-03-2003, 11:07 AM
BMM - LMMFAO - thanks man. I needed a good laugh today. I'm sorry if it's at your expense. but for what it's worth, based on your description, and as a seasoned strip club maven, I probably would have done the same thing out of curiosity.

The "i'm dumb and lost" bit works great. I used it recently in a visit to an alleged strip club in brooklyn. I walked into to this DIVE of all DIVES. Looked around and before I could walk out, the barmaid put a napkin up and asked what was I drinking. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good dive every now and then. but this place needed to be upgraded to be called a dive. I played stupid, lost tourist, pleaded ignorance, asked directions and left.

by the way BMM - just out of curiousity - you didn't happen to get contact info/website/acronyms on the women inside, did you?

BigMadM
09-03-2003, 11:43 AM
no contact info, but I think I finally figured out where swope is getting all of his private stock.

Harlot
09-03-2003, 01:16 PM
It's a good thing you didn't stroll right up to one of the ladies and ask her how much the back room costs.

lawyer101
09-04-2003, 03:00 PM
BMM,
That is some funny shit...lol :)

billyS
09-04-2003, 04:34 PM
BMM, When I got to the part where you start describing 300 lbs women my mind raced ahead. OMG, BMM is going to graphically describe porking these pigs.

howardnotstern
09-04-2003, 05:17 PM
the mention of the big ladies brought to my mind the scene from the film 'blue velvet' involving big ladies

Casper
09-04-2003, 08:32 PM
For me it was more like the scene in Animal House .... Do you my if I dance with your date ...... well kinda, sorta