Cloud Nine goes to Cloud Nine but doesn't go beyond Cloud Two

[Cloud Nine]

Imagine my chagrin when I learned of a strip joint 45 minutes from my house that's named "Cloud Nine".

I just had to check it out on prinicpal.

I wish I went to the newly renovated Ballpark Tavern instead.

After driving down Rte 63 for what seemed like an eternity into the middle of nowheresville. (Actually, 4 miles west of Harleysville, PA) I find the joint.

THe place itself is not so bad, the majority of dancers were in my opinion good looking and many were even tall, leggy and athletic. I sat myself between two regulars and asked furtive questions of them to gain the inside track. Such furtive questions included, "so do you get anything decent in the couch dance room or is it just a big tease show?" The regulars answered that it's good and a tease. My guess was that they were either simps or working the long term angle like the master himself, justlooking. I don't have the time for such endeavors but I asked for a dance from a girl whose name eludes me right now irregardless.

Now, here's a first for me.....

I GOT STOOD UP FOR A COUCH DANCE!!!

I asked her during her "titty catching tips" round and she said she would be back to give me the dance when she was finished. I noticed her make her rounds and then she promptly went to the corner and sat down by herself. Now the couch dance room was directly behind me so I know she wasnt waiting for me. She either thought I was the ugliest and smelliest motherfucker ( :( ) or she completely flaked. In either case i wasn't going to chase her down. I got one from Christine instead.

Christine was a skinny, small chested girl that had a pretty face and smile. I'm a sucker for a nice smile. The couch dance was as described by the regulars, hardly any contact and lame as shit. The female bouncer was watching the entire time. Christine was pleasant enough and we had a interesting conversation, she has a tongue stud and I implied hints that I'd like to try it out someday; she neither rebuffed my come-ons nor did she reciprocate, perhaps she got schooled by Danielle or she just didnt know me well enough. In either case, the time I get to go out and be naughty doesnt make this a place for me to return too often.

I guess I'll have to take the train and go to NY and check out ass-con and get scuzzy with you NY scumbags.

[Dondee]

Call out the border patrol!

[Bill Furniture]

Originally posted by Dondee
Call out the border patrol!

They were notified last week.

[jseah]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
I guess I'll have to take the train and go to NY and check out ass-con and get scuzzy with you NY scumbags.

I never knew the Amish was allowed on trains????

[danger-us]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
Now, here's a first for me.....

I GOT STOOD UP FOR A COUCH DANCE!!!

Not that this was the case with you, but (believe it or not) some strippers play hard to get. They play the guys real good; making them want them even more. And then spend even more (for a protracted tease.)

I know a couple girls who've done this. They actually ignore the guys on purpose.

The stuff they tell me, baffles the mind.

[justlooking]

Originally posted by jseah
I never knew the Amish was allowed on trains????

Is "Amish" a code-word-type euphemism? For what act, I wonder?

[paulie_walnuts]

"churning the butter"

"plowing the field"

"milking the cow"

"doing it buggy-style"

[Danielle]

c9-
Maybe the chick you asked to dance for you was just totally beat but didn't feel comfortable saying "no" to your dance request so she just dodged you when she got off stage. (Not that I condone her behavior, what a lazy bitch!) Man, that chick was at work, she should have been happy and obliging to make some dough. I always get pissed off at work when I hear dancers complain about how shitty the night is and how they aren't making money and then I see them sitting around sulking in the corner and not even trying to approach customers. I don't think a girl has a right to complain unless she's at least making an honest effort. At least "Christine" was somewhat accomodating. Perhaps you should stick to the tried and true places you normally visit and avoid your namesake establishment from now on.

[Cloud Nine]

Since I sat relatively close to the CD room, I noticed that not alot of people were going back there. Obviously, everyone knew it was almost worthless. That's why I found it so strange that Tyrus (I remembered her name) blew me off. She and the others weren't getting much action on a Saturday night, no less. I also know that it was only an hour into her shift because the DJ announced previously when she went on stage that it was her first set of the night. So if she was tired, she must have had a long day before getting to work.

No big loss, I only spent 60 bucks for drinks, dance and titty tips.

[Cloud Nine]

As a lark I went back to this place 2 months ago.

I recognized 2 or 3 girls from before which is amazing knowing how nomadic strippers can be.

Even more amazing is that another stripper actually recognized me!!

Stripper: hello again, nice to see you came back.

Me: You must have me confused with someone else, I havent been here since last summer.

Stripper: No I remember you, you were complaining that a dancer stood you up for a couch dance.

Me: Oh my god, was I that whiny that you'd actually remember that?!

So she convinces me to get a couch dance from her. Lame as usual, but I figure I'd actually put in my time and see if JL's MO will work for me.
I go to the bar and see her once every week or two after a "new routine" Ive established on the weekends.
Its become casual enough that she knows to come up to me and tells me to get the bartender when Im ready for my dance. We often talk in between shows for her. I tip decently and she's become somewhat flirtly with me in what seems more "real".

I'm going to have to go for the kill next week.

[justlooking]

Just Looking

Mr. Pitiful

[Cloud Nine]

I'm so excited that next week I might go from creepy strip club patron to full fledged sexual predator.

[Cloud Nine]

BTW- She said that I am really funny, should I believe her or assume she's playin me?

[justlooking]

Too easy.

[justlooking]

No more than strippers are playing me when they tell me I'm a great fuck.

[BigMadM]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
BTW- She said that I am really funny, should I believe her or assume she's playin me?

if JLs approach fails, try being honest. Just tell her next week you want to fuck her so hard up the ass her fillings will rattle.
That will let you know right away if shes interested.

[Heartbreaker]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
BTW- She said that I am really funny, should I believe her or assume she's playin me?

She's playing you. Never take what a stripper says or does too seriously. I had one ask me what I was like in bed while I was sucking on her tits during a lap dance.

[Cloud Nine]

Originally posted by justlooking
No more than strippers are playing me when they tell me I'm a great fuck.

You guys do realize that I was joking with that question?

[BigMadM]

I wasnt joking with my response.

[Cloud Nine]

So how do I explain the red handprint on my face to the wife?

[BigMadM]

simple. You tell your wife, while you were having lunch that day, at a local coffee shop/diner/whatever, some woman kept hitting on you. Non-stop, and no matter how many times you graciously answered that you were flattered, but a happily married man to a wonderful beautiful woman, the woman persisted, and kept hitting on you. So, in order to get her off your back, you said to her, youd go out with her on one condition, she lets you fuck her up the ass so hard her fillings will rattle, and then she smacked you, but at least she left you alone.

BMM-the answer man!

[JaxHammer]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
So how do I explain the red handprint on my face to the wife?

After BBM's suggestion, the question should be - So how do you explain the "TWO" red handprints on your face to your friends & co-workers?

[justlooking]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
You guys do realize that I was joking with that question?

That's the joke, isn't it?

[Hawley Griffin]

Other strip club named after UG handles I would have no interest in patronizing:


hombre
danger-us
milkman
One eyed trouser trout
suddanlyknot




I would go to:

bushleaguer
curious
Puta
Happy Hooker
Spaz Medicine

[justme]

Hey, if JL believes that C9 is really funny, will he believe that JL is a great fuck?

[Cloud Nine]

I dont even think JL thinks he's a great fuck.

[justlooking]

I thought I was the one he was talking about. I mean, OF COURSE I don't think that. I'm there too often when I'm having sex to think that.