Heidi,Nickolette, and Me.(Dreams do come true)

[BigMadM]

I contacted Heidi and deliberately let her know its my B-day real soon. I asked her if she could find a friend and come visit me out in queens since she moved into the city, and she completely fucked up my Monday mornings.(I spent almost every Monday with her for the past 4 months, I hate when girls feel they have to move, unless she was trying to get away from me.)

She brought her newest friend, Nickolette.(Nicky)

I arrived at the location very early, figured I shower and relax a bit before they arrive. Guess what, they show up 20 minutes early. (this is how it should be done, always plan ahead of time for traffic, if youre early, most men in a room already, would welcome that.)

So this is my first time meeting Nicky.
The body on this girl is that of a dancer. She is a dancer.
Slim perfect legs, tight ass, and a flat belly with enhanced boobs.Beautiful soft skin.
For those who know her, you know already what a great looking girl she is. For those who havent met her, her smile and good looks could lighten up the darkest place on the planet.
She is a looker, plain and simple. Shes got the entire package.
Oh, shit, lets not forget Heidi, who to me, is one of the sexiest women Ive ever met. (I often dream about her ass)

A little chit chat, and the clothes start coming off during the chit chat, me, Im ready.
I have to be honest here, I was so fucking excited, to have these 2 beauties, naked, laying in bed, admiring each others body in the wall and ceiling mirrors, I had a woody and neither of them even touched me yet.
The sheer anticipation of having this small orgy was overwhelming.
I was careful not to let my dick brush against even a sheet, out of fear that I would explode prematurely.

There was alot of touching, I had to examine every inch of Nickys body, as well as Heidis.
Its all pretty foggy, but Ill try to remember most of the way it went.
I pulled Heidis lovely mouth, up to mine, and did some LFK with her, something new for me, and had Nicky go down south.
This went on for a while.
Nicky brought a can of whip cream with her, and strawberries, and after a while, her and Heidi were above me, kissing and fondling, and spraying whip cream on each others breasts, on my dick, and they were taking their time licking it all off.
I just didnt want to move, it was just too good.
I got their rendition of happy birthday while they were licking each others boobs, and then it was down to business again.
I pulled Nicky up for some kissing, and Heidi went to work.
And ofcourse, it didnt last long, Heidi gave me my B-day present quickly.

We took a break for a few, and then after some fondling, I was rock hard again.
Nicky climbed on top, and did a great cowgirl ride for a while, turned around, carefully not letting me slide out, then did a backwards cowgirl. Meantime, Heidi was kissing me, kissing Nicky, and it was all going well.
I got Nicky off and Heidi on. Cowgirl, then I just had to get Heidi into the position she was made for, doggie. A perfect ass.
I pounded on her for as long as I could, then we kept switching back and forth and I told them its Heidis turn.
New territory here, especially for Heidi.
Heidi laid back and Nicky went to work on her pussy and explained each step to Heidi so she could try eating pussy next.
Me, I just sat back, took notes, and enjoyed the show. Heidi seemed to enjoy it pretty good because she was moaning in ectasy. Me, I started kissing Heidi, and was sucking away on those huge mammaries.
Now the switch. Nicky lays back, and Heidi, never before having eaten pussy, gives it a shot. Today, Heidi crossed the line.
With Nickys distinct instructions, like look for the man in the boat, and go easy, not too hard, Heidi started eating out Nicky.
And from the look on Nickys face, the rookie was going to the hall of fame on her first shot.
Me, I couldnt take it.....My dick was still hard, and although I was all over Heidis ass, biting, licking, kissing, I had a tough decision to make, do I want to stick my dick in Heidi from behind doggie, or do I want to stick my dick in Nickys mouth and mouth fuck her while Heidis eating her out. Man, tough decisions so early in the morn! I chose to stick my dick in Nickys mouth and pumped away.

I dont have to describe how good it is.....it just doesnt get any better. Ever.
Well, this went on, Heidi was now a true bi-sexual, and me, Im still one of the biggest fucking pervs alive.
We switched up a little more, and Heidi went back to a bbbj and finished me off again.

It went on for a while, but I think the picture is clear.

Nickolette is a beautiful girl with a knockout body.
Heidi is a beautiful girl with a knockout body.
BMM may be a fat old man, but today, he felt like the King Stud in a porno flick.

If your cardiologist will permit you, I strongly recommend you see these two ******s together real soon.
I wish it was my B-day every day.
Tomorrow I will see another beauty, God give me strength.

[robnotbob]

I think BMM passed out.

[daro]

BMM, I got to ask you this question.
Where do you get the strength and stamina?




TO TYPE SUCH A WELL WRITTEN REVIEW. LOL.
Happy 48th or 49th. With birthday presents like that, you can't wait a whole year for the next one.

[MikeyParmigiana]

When I grow up I wanna be you!

[BigMadM]

I want to add a couple of things I left out, ran out of space, and had to cut review shorter. These things are for the real pervs that would enjoy exploring different positions.

While I was doing Heidi Doggie, her feet on floor, not knees on bed, Nicky stood above Heidi on bed, bent over, her ass right near my face, and her boobs falling on Heidis back.
I tried a few times, got my tongue into Nickys pussy, but the position was too much for an old fucker like me, I just couldnt bend down that far without disturbing the doggie fucking.
(Nickys pussy btw-no scent, perfectly fresh and clean. I should have went down on her myself, but there is only so much a man can do on a given day.)

While Heidi was blowing me at one point, Nicky stood above me, bent her knees, and put her ass 6 inches from my face, and was fingering herself, rubbing her clit, I was helping, sticking in some fingers. The visuals were great in this room because the walls and ceilings all had mirrors. So whereever one looked, there was quite a nice show.
I really enjoyed all the little extras Nicky was doing.
Shes a wild one.

And for the record, I must compliment them both, they arrived early, and after the time period was up, neither even looked at a clock. I had to tell them lets go, its time to leave. Nicky, she had a good laugh, not realizing the room was only booked for 4 hours.
I came out of the shower, and they were still on the bed, naked, with their legs all spread open and admiring each others body in the ceiling mirrors. I almost took off my clothes and jumped back in. They didnt look like they would have minded one bit.
Naughty girls. I luv it.

[JerseyDevil]

As always BMM, another great post and review. Wouldn't you know it, Heidi is not on the ad page. How the hell am I gonna get in touch with her now?

[daro]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by BigMadM
[B
I tried a few times, got my tongue into Nickys pussy, but the position was too much for an old fucker like me,

_____________________________________________________


BMM, you ain't no contortionist. Fuck it. You eat what's in front of your face man. While she's playing with her pussy, perv to perv,
you eat that asshole. She will have one monster O. I ain't shitting you on that one. Fuck that saying, you eat the hole, you'll
eat the pole. This ain't OZ. Nothing wrong with eating, a tight
clean ass, as long as there's a God given pussy, on the flip side.

[mepee]

good job BMM, great review, sounds like the b-day present i will be asking for this year

[Bill Furniture]

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you!:)

[TuckernotSucker]

Man, BMM, you know how to celebrate a birthday. I get a free sunday at Jahns.

[sean960]

What can I say,you truely are the king,is it possible to get Heidi and Lexi together again now that Heidi has seen the light ??

By the way Heidi,your stock just went way up in my eyes...
And,I've always been one of your biggest fans anyway...

[BigMadM]

I hear ya daro, but nicky told me in the beginning, no anal, no asian, but I dont know if me sticking my tongue up her ass was a no no, But, butt licking is not a priority to me. Ive spent a lifetime kissing my wifes ass, I dont know if I want to pay over and over again to kiss a providers ass.(but that ass on her was very kissable.)

[danger-us]

Jesus h. Christ, what a review. When is the movie released on DVD?

Damn!

[danger-us]

Originally posted by BigMadM

...I had to examine every inch of Nickys body, as well as Heidis.

Originally posted by BigMadM
Me, I just sat back, took notes, and enjoyed the show.

I can picture BMM with his note book, actually exploring, measuring with a ruler; writing detailed comments, numbers and logarithms. LOL. How else could he come up with this stuff?

Bravo to the man with the steno pad.

[pswope]

the only way to top that is to do them in the pool at the Diplomat.

Happy Bday BMM.


(so which was better, this 3some or boffing your shrink?)

[wimpy]

excellent review.

Heidi, I have to wait for July 4 for my b-day. But the thought of the Manhattan apartment and fireworks going off gives me chills.

BMM, I like your style.

Thought, since Heidi crossed the line does she do two guys and her. Just a thought. HMMMMM

[wimpy]

BMM - Happy Birthday. You old fart :)

We need to hook up for a drink.

Peace Wimpy

[Mercuric1]

Your legacy continues....

[Ozzy]

BMM makes a post on the board requesting special fucking treatment for his b-day and gets this. I can't get this girl to return a phone call or ****** (as John Do Schmo) and BMM is having all this fun...


Yeah... there's no special fucking treatment going on here.

[greekgirlinnj]

bmm

good for u nice review and not to hijack
ill take u to lunch next week for your bday if u want

[BigMadM]

I guess if you consider her returning my call special treatment, I agree with you.
My donation made this possible, nothing else.

[BigMadM]

thanx Dee, you are a sweetheart. See, I do get special treatment.

[greekgirlinnj]

bigmadm

for someone as nice to me as u are i would take ya to lunch

id take ozzy to lunch as well even if we never met..he can be a dick at times but hes honest besides he has good taste in music

[Happy Hooker]

I would book a john I see once a week faithfully for one year in a heartbeat, especally with short notice.

There is nothing wrong with a john that sees you religiously being offered great deals. Once you build a "relationship" with a girl you too can be considered the "great client"

Just keep booking her and paying her well.


Happy Birthday BMM!

[BigMadM]

Originally posted by greekgirlinnj
bigmadm

for someone as nice to me as u are i would take ya to lunch

id take ozzy to lunch as well even if we never met..he can be a dick at times but hes honest besides he has good taste in music

I listen to whatever my wife or kids left in my CD player in the car.One day Im bopping to Club music, the next day Im listening to six feet from the edge.

[BigMadM]

I always thought special treatment would be like Heidi doing certain or special sexual acts for me and no one else.. To me, that is special treatment. That, unless she marries me, will never happen. She has rules and I respect her body and her wishes.
Maybe thats why she treats me right. I dont seem to get anything special from her. I dont get a special rate. I dont get a special service. What I get, is a girl that is willing to wake up for me early. There isnt a fucking girl besides Angel, or a Tia, that will meet me early. Yeah, they all say ok, but I sit in a room with my thumb up my ass until they show up and always have some bullshit excuse.
Most of the times, the ageny cant even wake the girl up or she doesnt check in.
So, Ill keep seeing her and I hope whatever anyone thinks is special, she keeps doing for me.

[greekgirlinnj]

bigmadm

i remember a certain morning around 830 am u calling and i couldnt because i had bookings already and i was up because i was heading to the gym..

i bet alot of girls would get up early

[BigMadM]

Dee, they all agree to do it, but never can make the appt time.
I dont need to sit in a room, pay extra for time to watch TV.

[greekgirlinnj]

bigmadm

i see what u are saying now..im sure heidi appreciates all u do for her, meaning the appts..how could she not

she seems like a level headed lady..

if i dont see u for lunch happy birthday funny man

[Ozzy]

I hate to break the news to you and this is getting to be a waste of time but I'll say it one last time.. you don't have the biggest wallet, dick or personality that Heidi has ever met...... You have the biggest board persona. BMM... you readily admit that you don't spend over a certain price point and often work out multi hr deals with all the girls.... how about the guys who blindly walk in to a room and throw down double or triple a girls normal fee without blinking an eye? So you're not the big free spending cowboy that you think you are. You may spend allot because you do this every day but I'd bet that session by session I out spend you and am more generous to the girls.... And I can also assure you that you are no nicer or less demanding than I am when meeting a girl..... but unless I tell them I'm Ozzy I don't get call backs or treatment any more special than the average schmo.

I guarantee you that if I called as "Ozzy" that I'd get a call back and more… although after trashing her best client that’s probably moot now as well. Oh well..... it's her loss for never seeing me as joe schmo.

[ClubAntidote]

Originally posted by greekgirlinnj
bmm

good for u nice review and not to hijack
ill take u to lunch next week for your bday if u want

[BigMadM]

What beef you have with me is something I dont understand.
But Im pretty sure you must have an agenda.
I guess she must make some call backs because there are alot of guys that post here about time spent with her.

Im sure you are nicer than me, and I have no doubt you tip bigger than me.
(dick size, not important to me, I satisfied with what I have)

[BigMadM]

I never try to bring money up as an issue anywhere. Why does anyone care what I spend or you spend. YOu are making that an issue.
I dont count anyone elses money. Its a stupid fucking thing to do.

I only wish you the best Ozzy, I hope you straighten out your problem with call backs with Heidi. You really might like her.She a lovely girl.

[greekgirlinnj]

WHO THE FUCK CARES IF SOMEONE GETS SPECIAL TREATMENT

ozzy i will almost bet that the brazillian crew u know whom are amazing looking gave u special treatment because u were a good customer and probably took care of them

it really shouldnt matter if a good and repeat customer gets special treatment

[ccure]

I agree with BMM and GG in this situation. The special client always gets the best treatment. Thats one of the reasons I try to see fewer providers more often to receive that same special treatment. I got special treatment from Gabby as well because I was a good client for her.

Speaking of special treatment, I wouldnt mind getting some from you GG...I'm gonna have to start making appts with you..

[greekgirlinnj]

i mean let me give an example

one morning bigmadm calls but im booked with just 2 one hour appts..now i could cancel with the 2 one hour appts and lie to them and go see bigmadm where ill make more money in three hours then in 2 one hour appts..but like i explained to him he wouldnt want me to cancel on them (he didnt ask me to) because he would be pissed if a chick did it to him..

trust me bigmadm doesnt book me but..i have seen him in the past..hes a funny fuck and an actual nice guy

ok now back to this hot review...

ps ozzy of course if some of you guys threw your name to most providers or agencies you would get special treatment lets all be honest

[greekgirlinnj]

one more thing


I view all appts as i would be reviewd wether i have seen them before or not..yes MOST of the time i enjoy a mans company but sometimes i wass say get that ugly fucking dick away from me..but u cant let that show through the session..

[BigMadM]

One more thing, I also believe its a comfort thing.
When a girl gets to know someone, that she comfortable with, the session will just naturally go that much better.
Let me give an example:
Lets say my buddy on this board, Kromrider, decides to take me along next tuesday up to Julies with him. He gets me in, he makes it easy for me. (remember, this is all hypothetical)
We both want to see a girl named Lola, whatever, Name is not important. Hes seen her 6 times, me my first visit.
Being the gentleman he is, he says BMM, since its your first visit, you go for it. So I do, and guess what, I dont believe Id get the same service from that girl that he would, only because shes knows him well and feels that much more comfortable with him.
It works like this with any girl. They may offer every man great service, but they are only human, and when they have that session that is in their comfort zone, they can relax more and Im sure it reflects during the session.
Only my opinion, but I find it to be quite true with alot of girls I see once, or 20 times.
And on the flip side, Im willing to bet alot of hobbyist feel there is a comfort zone they would rather have for each session.
Its nice when you know you can go pee without being worried the girl is going to go through your wallet.
Or you dont have to worry about her telling anyone you have a 2 inch dick and youre embarrassed.(but they are a damn hard working 2 inches.)

[Daniel_NYC]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE
http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/HappyBirthday2.gif

[BigMadM]

thanx jim and everyone else.
But I think this term SFT, is like YMMV.
What constitutes special treatment. Is it that someone always returns my calls?
If providers are offering more sexually to their clients...like lets say a bbbj vs a cbj, ok.....thats something I can grasp.
But since this all started by referring to Heidi, I dont think she gives me preferential treatment other than giving me the time slots I want, but I book a week in advance, and its 3 hours, so why wouldnt she. Its good business.
Theres been plenty of times, when I call her last minute, and shes in city and cant see me out here in the sticks.

Heidi did give me something special yesterday, I must admit.
She gave me her best rendition of happy birthday Mr. President, as performed by that famous blond bombshell, but I have to admit....Heidi leaning over me, 38 Ds 6 inches from my face, and her sweet voice, topped what the president had.
And she was accompanied by Nicky

There have been a few girls I remember that gave me real special treatment, but only because they were told to by the boss because I was a very frequent flyer.
It had nothing to do with my posting handle, because I didnt even post back then.
I knew the girls treated me good, and when asked, told me the boss said take care of him, hes a once a week regular.
Big fucking deal. I paid plenty.
Im sorry to keep going on with this.

[ccure]

It all reverts back to the "green Stuff".....thats why I go for quality rather than quantity. Mike, you get better treatment for a number of reasons, If you post a bad experience it will hit them in the pocket book, if I spent the money you do on this hobby and I was getting special treatment I'd quit. I spend my share also I just go about it in a different way......your point about being more comfortable after multiple visits is exactly why I see fewer providers more often. This way I know what to expect going in. I very rarely leave a session disappointed.

Cc

[Ozzy]

You're all totally missing the fucking point.

1) I have no agenda with BMM except that his reviews are totally inaccurate if he's receiving something that the average schmo can't (or doesn't get offered).

2) He continues to insist that it's his wallet or his personality that gets the special treatment when he pays and or tips no more than most everyone else and treats the woman no different than most anyone else (we're not all disrespectful cheapskates)... if that were the case than anyone with the $'s could get what he gets and that simply isn't the case. I didn't mean to imply that I am nicer or tip better.. just pointing out that he's not the only person who treats the girls well or with respect. But if anything by the tone of his posts he doesn't show them as much respect as I do... but that's another story. The simple fact is that he gets this treatment because of who he is on the boards and I know this to be fact because I happen to also be SOMEONE on the boards who has been offered SFT in the past and it's even been unsolicited on my part. It's also the reason that nearly every girl I and others speak to at ass-con parties, tell us that they met Bill Furniture and how he tells them he's some sort of celebrity.. and why does he say that.... because he gets SFT when he says that.

Kathy of TENS sent (or attempted to send) a girl during off hours only because he was BMM and not some average schmo. Lets see someone call her up and ask for a morning appointment and see where it gets them. That's special treatment no different than Shauna telling me to have drinks or to take Jill to dinner (off the clock) so I could get to know her and spread the word about what a doll she is outside the bedroom.... That’s why slinky deleted my initial review of her because he knew I got what most others probably wouldn't be offered. He happened to know about this (SFT) because (as mentioned in another thread) he, April and Thorn were having dinner with me when Shauna, Jill and I were playing phone tag to set things up for later that night. I was point blank asked by Shauna that night if Jill could join my (so-called) friends and I for dinner and or drinks (because she was alone in NYC) or if I would mind taking her to one of the private (lock down) parties that are always being talked about.... And when Jill and or Shauna accompany me to a future ASS-CON party you will know that THAT is also special fucking treatment. I don't accept freebies and since dinner and or drinks is not part of "the act" itself (nor something that I would include in a review), I didn't see a need to turn down the offer/request.

GG.... I never got special treatment from any of my Brazilians because (and I've said this a thousand times....) other than the three times I saw Gabby before we became close personal friends.... I NEVER had a session with any of the members of team brazil (for obvious reasons since I was now friends with Gabby). And unlike most others, I do admit to SFT and I admitted to special treatment from Shauna of BDJ.... That's the difference... I ADMIT TO IT! As far as any special treatment from others.. I don’t get it because I usually don’t say who I am… and if I do tell anyone, it’s someone who isn’t on the boards (like Patricia the Brazilian) and has no idea who Ozzy is, and I tell them that they may get people using “Ozzy” as a reference because I either reviewed them or spoke highly of them on Utopia Guide. I don’t throw my name around which is why guys at these ass-con parties and F-stop who always mention who they met… and who have met me, never know that I am Ozzy unless someone who knows me tells them. Case in point.. is JimyDR, I’ve seen him running around F/Stop a half dozen times and spoke to him once or twice but he has no idea I am Ozzy. Do me a favor and ask Casper if I ever introduced myself as Ozzy when I met him at F/Stop. He somehow knew who I was because either someone told him or he figured it out because I usually come in and leave with Slinky. I’m no fucking hypocrite, which is why I can sit here and tell you about everyone else who throws their names around looking for special treatment.

PS to GG… You continue to call me a “dick” because I have the balls to tell you the truth… the same truth that everyone here knows but are too afraid to say it. If that makes me a dick than fine.. you've never met me and if you did I think you're opinion would change greatly... I don't think Kimmie thinks of me as some pompous arrogant dick since she's met me... and April probably would disagree strongly with you as well as would probably every single person who has ever met me from these boards... well maybe everyone but Tank. Shit for the past two years everyone thought Shauna would put a knife thru my chest when she met me... but she met me personally years ago and of all people even she understands the difference between a board persona and the actual person... and knows how to separate the two.

[Ozzy]

ccure... You made arraignments with Gabby to pay her rent or buy her plane tickets (as mentioned in another thread) because at that point in time she was having serious issues with what she was doing and bartering her services instead of simply charging by the hour, in her mind, helped her accept what she was doing a little bit easier. She was no longer officially working and she probably looked at you as a sugar daddy type, but the fact is she still couldn't look at herself in the mirror (so to speak), so one day (around X-mas 2001?) she just unplugged her phone and quit. btw... I'm not quite sure which set of plane tickets you sprung for but the last time she was here (June/July 2002), she had a round trip ticket because she knew her visa was fucked (fall-out from 9/11) and only had 15 days to legally stay in the US, so she came to town to get her things from her apt and collect her security deposit.

[jseah]

FWIW, I know who Ozzy is (not his real-life identity, but if I see him at Asscon, I will know it is Ozzy), and he seems to be a nice guy in person.........

[Ozzy]

GG... One last thing since you ask WHO THE FUCK CARES WHO GETS SPECIAL TREATMENT...


I'll tell you.. ALL THE GUYS WHO READ A BMM REVIEW LIKE THE ONE AT THE TOP OF THIS THREAD AND WILL GO TO SEE HEIDI (AND FRIEND) AND WILL FEEL COMPLETELY LIED TO AND RIPPED OFF IF AND WHEN THEY DON'T GET THE SAME TREATMENT.


This to me is no different than JL's point in another thread about being misled about a girls looks only to show up and discover than the 9 you read about is only a 4.

[ccure]

Ozzy,

I did not see her June/july 2002...I only spoke with her on the phone and I was aware of the passport issue and the round trip ticket....January/February 2002 is when I called the travel agent and made her arrangements. I was aware of how she felt about what she was doing so I made the decision to provide for her so she didnt have to see anyone but me. She was the one who suggested it and I agreed. To me it was well worth it for a number of reasons. One, I got to know her as a person and I really enjoyed her company. We went to dinner and a few lunches and I really enjoyed the time I spent with her. You might say I was a "sugar daddy" An oppurtunity doesnt come around that often to be able to spend quality time with someone as beautiful as she was. If I didnt get special treatment I would not have done what I did. I have no regrets. It was a great experience.

Cc

[Happy Hooker]

Originally posted by Ozzy

PS to GG… You continue to call me a “dick” because I have the balls to tell you the truth… the same truth that everyone here knows but are too afraid to say it. If that makes me a dick than fine.. you've never met me and if you did I think you're opinion would change greatly... I don't think Kimmie thinks of me as some pompous arrogant dick since she's met me... and April probably would disagree strongly with you as well as would probably every single person who has ever met me from these boards... well maybe everyone but Tank. Shit for the past two years everyone thought Shauna would put a knife thru my chest when she met me... but she met me personally years ago and of all people even she understands the difference between a board persona and the actual person... and knows how to separate the two.


Ozzy,

I have actually spoken to GG about you and what you are like off the board. I told her you are a big teddy bear. Nothing like your online persona. Just like I am not like my board persona(even though you insist that I am)

I dont think she meant you are a dick in the way you think she meant it. I think it was compliment.( then again I could be wrong so let me not assume) I take being called a bitch a compliment. Enjoy being a dick. How big is your dick anyway? oops sorry lost track...

Ozzy is much more boring in person. Doesn't talk about much, but does talk about a lot of BS, and every time I see him I just wanna squeeze his cheeks (not tellin which ones)

I am feverishly working to lose all this weight so Ozzy will want me..

Ah..fuck where did I put that chocolate bar?

[ccure]

one more thing...as far as who is a nice guy on this board really doesnt concern me. I dont consider BMM, BF, or Ozzy celebrities they are just other people doing the same thing I'm doing but in a different way....I dont aspire to have 7000 posts on this board or see a provider 3 or 4 times a week. That is just not my style. However I must admit to becoming addicted to reading this damn board on a daily basis. I just like the info I get andI get a kick out of the different personalities. It like an ongoing soap opera. As far as meeting other Johns on this board I have no interest. In this hobby I believe its every man for himself. BTW Ozzy Gabby always spoke very highly of you so I must assume that you are a good person.

Cc

[Ozzy]

If someone does a good search they'll find a reference to this story and the first time I met Gabby. When I was getting ready to leave her apt she asked how I found her contact info and I told her I found her info on JAG she asked where else on the internet she and her friends could advertise. I told her about a brand new board that didn't have too many members but that my friend who owned it was giving away free ads to help get it started and that it couldn't hurt. I told her it was called Utopia Guide and upon hearing that she told me that some guy named "Ozzy" was here the previous day and saw Luana and that he told her that he owned UG and promised her a free ad or that he's supply her with her with one if she did their session for free. Turns out that Luana was the last person who would ever barter her services (because she truly loved greenbacks) and told him she would think about it. I signed onto UG right then and there on Luana's laptop and proved to Gabby that *I* was Ozzy so this fake couldn't pull that on her or any of her friends. I then went home and made a post about it so any girl who read the board would know that it wasn't me. I believe at the time I was UG's only "Gold" member and somehow this guy used that to prove he (or rather Ozzy) was some VIP on the board.

cc... I'm somewhat glad that at least someone spoke highly of me and if you've been around here long enough, you know that there is no one whom I have spoken more highly about than Gabby. She's actually coming up in a few weeks to attend the wedding of one of her friends.

btw... Camilla (of team brazil) is now back in NYC and has her info/website posted on *** and will be putting up an ad here as well.

PS... here's a rare positive mention of me..... but I had to go back two years to find it one
http://utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=4753#post4753

[hot4chicks]

I don't know Ozzy or the women he cavorts with. But in the time I've read his posts, I agree that he can be obnoxious, abrasive and at times keeps threads alive, that should be DNRed.

OTOH, Ozzy is also a pretty honest guy who speaks up for those who need help finding a voice or who can't speak up for themselves. I admire that.

BTW, where do I find Heidi's contact info?

[ccure]

2 years to find positive mention? You must have pissed a lot of people off. The one thing I do notice is when someone wants to know something about a Brazillian provider including me wants to know what Ozzy thinks.

I'm sure the people who post a lot and gain reputations get special treatment because if they post bad the provider will get hit in the pocketbook. I have posted a couple of reviews to help out a provider only if the service was good. The best part about this boad is that it provides info on good and bad services. I would never post a good review if the service wasnt good

As far as Gabby goes I 'm happy that all is ok with her. When you speak to her tell her I said Hi.

Cc

[BigMadM]

Originally posted by Ozzy
You're all totally missing the fucking point.

1) I have no agenda with BMM except that his reviews are totally inaccurate if he's receiving something that the average schmo can't (or doesn't get offered).

2) He continues to insist that it's his wallet or his personality that gets the special treatment when he pays and or tips no more than most everyone else and treats the woman no different than most anyone else (we're not all disrespectful cheapskates)... if that were the case than anyone with the $'s could get what he gets and that simply isn't the case. I didn't mean to imply that I am nicer or tip better.. just pointing out that he's not the only person who treats the girls well or with respect. But if anything by the tone of his posts he doesn't show them as much respect as I do... but that's another story. The simple fact is that he gets this treatment because of who he is on the boards and I know this to be fact because I happen to also be SOMEONE on the boards who has been offered SFT in the past and it's even been unsolicited on my part. It's also the reason that nearly every girl I and others speak to at ass-con parties, tell us that they met Bill Furniture and how he tells them he's some sort of celebrity.. and why does he say that.... because he gets SFT when he says that.

Kathy of TENS sent (or attempted to send) a girl during off hours only because he was BMM and not some average schmo. Lets see someone call her up and ask for a morning appointment and see where it gets them. That's special treatment no different than Shauna telling me to have drinks or to take Jill to dinner (off the clock) so I could get to know her and spread the word about what a doll she is outside the bedroom....




My reviews are more accurate than your cholesterol readings from your physician.
Maybe I forget to mention that I had to pee twice, and they used the bathroom, but accuracy, dont even go there.
And when any other member on this board shells out the money for a 3 hour doubles session with them, Hell get the same treatment, well, maybe minus the happy birthday song.
Heidi loves to eat food, Nicky told me, so if someone was smart, they should bring some chocolate eclairs to the session, and Im willing to bet that would make for some interesting stuff.

And for the record, I treat all the girls like princesses.
I cant help myself.
But I dont get involved off the clock with them, I respect their private lives. I might ***** once in while, but never go out with them.
Kathy?NY Tens.-Well, I asked Kathy, and even though I let her know it was BMM, and had Happy hooker speak with her for a reference, only so Kathy would know her girl would be in the safest hands with me. I asked Kathy if she has any girls, she said yes. The price was low, and I offered a 150-200 tip for the GFE stuff. All I care about is the bbbj. For 3 bjs, about 90 minutes or less of work, the girl was getting a 2 bill tip. Not bad, why wouldnt she send out a girl. Makes sense to me. That good business. I wish Kathy the best of luck with her business. It didnt work out, I got pissed, I moved on.
My posts are always 100% accurate regarding anything in this hobby.

I would think, any semi-intelligent poster, reading one of my reviews, and booking the girl, would post about shit treatment they got from Heidi after my, or wimpys, or seans reviews.
But that really hasnt happened yet. And to be honest, Im done with this shit. Its fucking old.
I get what I get because I treat a girl like gold. And they appreciate that. Any man that treats a girl like that, will always get the same treatment.
As a matter of fact, I told Heidi how come Wimpy gets last minute appts., and I never seem to. Funny, whats the answer to that one. Wimpy once a year, BMM 25 times a year. The answer is she treats almost all her good, emphasize good, customers, similar.
Now, please give me a fucking break, I need to relax because tomorrow, I got a really good one planned and I hope she reads this and offers me the best service on the planet.

[Bill Furniture]

Originally posted by Ozzy
It's also the reason that nearly every girl I and others speak to at ass-con parties, tell us that they met Bill Furniture and how he tells them he's some sort of celebrity.. and why does he say that.... because he gets SFT when he says that.

You're a bit off the mark on this one. I don't wanna do anything with most of the girls there, being that it would bankrupt me to do so. I'm just trying to be friendly to girls working in a sad environment.

[Bill Furniture]

Originally posted by Ozzy


PS... here's a rare positive mention of me..... but I had to go back two years to find it one
http://utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=4753#post4753

shill!:D

[Bill Furniture]

BTW, she may not have posted it here, but Valerie also said you're a good guy.

[Geezy Muldoon]

(I always tell women I'm Mr. Pitiful. Then, they slap me after asking "Who the fuck is he?")

(Some johns get better service and services not offered to other johns (anal, BBBJ, etc.) It's always been that way.)

[BigMadM]

and ozzy, you got fucking balls and nerve to bring up that Kathy ny tens shit again....she sent(or attempted to send)
You question me. You think I lied?
I let that shit go and you bring it up......

Now, it sounds to me as if youre accusing me of trying to do something here again. She sent or attempted to send.
Id like to see the attempt she made.
Lets see her furnish me with the cell bills, and Ill come on this board, and Ill post that it was stupid driver or girl.
Ill apologize, and tell everyone Im sorry for acting like an ass, or maybe she should admit she fucked up royally.
I know what happened. Someone forgot completely, some where along the line, and noone had the balls to just let me know the truth.
How the fuck do you bring that stuff up again.

Just because you are a long time member of this and other boards, you have some fucking nerve bringing this shit up and questioning my word.

You have a 10 times bigger following on this and other boards then I ever will, and obviously make friends and socialize with hookers, so know alot more people than me, but please, dont ever question my accuracy.

[BigMadM]

And please answer this for me...im very curious.....how come shauna would want you to take out Jill, and spread the word what a doll she is outside the bedroom.
Were here to fuck them, not take them to broadway shows.
They get paid to suck my dick and swallow my cum, why do I give a fuck how nice a girl is outside my hotel room.
This, I dont understand.

[iusedtobeone1]

I am with Ozzy on this one. If you get service out of the ordinary because you are a special customer then it's prolly a bad idea to review that session. Before I starting seeing a certain provider we had many sessions that were out of the ordinary and she did things that I know for a fact she would not do with another "John". I would never put that in a review because if I did, everyone would be expecting the same thing. Then everyone thinks either your a liar or makes people think the provider isn't livin up to the standards of the review. It's bad on both ends......

[BigMadM]

ok, used to be one....so I want to know what I posted that Heidi did for me, in any of my reviews, that she didnt do for any customer.......Did I post that she swallowed, nope because she doesnt and never will, at least not with me.
Did she let me do her greek, nope, never happen. and I wouldnt mind if she did.
She gave me a few great blowjobs, and I watched her enjoy herself.
We had fun, we had plenty of time. Shit, this is so fucking redundant......

Heidi, Im sorry is any of my post ever cause you a problem.
Id never want to post anything that would hurt your career or earning potential.
You are the one of the finest looking women Ive ever met, in or out of Hobby, My opinion. You are sizzlling hot. Ill see you next week, thats right, Ill just keep seeing her every fucking week.

[ccure]

I think this horse is DEAD

[traderjack09]

Happy birthday, and you are still my hero man.

BTW, when are we going for that beer?

[pswope]

1. A cyber john's whose posts are perceived as possibly generating additional business will usually get better treatment,from savvy 'net working girls,than an unknown schmo.
2. Any john who becomes or has the potential to be a regular is going to get better treatment,than a 1 time shmo.
3. A cyber john reputed to spend more money,either in tips or hours,is going to get better treatment than a john perceived to be a penny pinching 1/2 hour schmo.
4. Even if you don't have 1,2,or 3, if you have a modicum of charm, you can still get the same treatment as johns in 1,2,or 3. maybe not as frequently.
5. Most john's are savvy enough to realize 1,2, and 3 and make the appropriate adjustments in their expectations.
6. Oz's bark is way worse than his bite (he's really a wussie)
7. I love BMM,but you personalize too much of this shit and become unecesaarily defensive. There is no correct way of whoring.You're a mad happy motherfucker-go with the flow.

[ccure]

wow....someone who gets it.....what a relief

[JohnJ]

when in doubt....

click here (http://utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=1468})

JJ

[Geezy Muldoon]

(And there are some johns who won't go see board favorites as a matter of principle to avoid the complications. These are generally smart men. I will never disclose my board identity(ies) again to a prostitute even one I would otherwise like to see and who would schedule me if I told her my identity(ies).)

(This stuff gets to be very much like passing notes around the class room in Fourth Grade.)

(If I keep getting smacked when I say I'm Mr. Pitiful, I'm gonna say I'm Mack and make out like a bandit in my sly funny Burberry.)

[greekgirlinnj]

jesus ozzy u missed what i have said a few times before

i said you can be a dick just like any other man in the world including my pops and i have said u are honest..and i even posted not long ago i heard u were nothing but cool so zip it..

I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH YOU..i think id be happy to meet u for a beer and i would still say u can be a dick to your face and buy u a beer..i call it like i see it..hell i know i can be a bitch on wheels and it really comes naturally..

[pswope]

JC

I prefer adaptable adoption of PMBs handles. If I want a non-stop blowjob,I'm BMM. If I want to discuss John Lee Hooker's influence on Elvis,while munching on truffle empandas,I'm of course Mr Pitiful. if I want to see a 22 year old boho runaway looking for Greg Corso,then off course I'm you. Of course,if I don't want to talk at all,I'm slinkybender.


(nb- Lil mack's uncle got her the identical toggle coat for Xmas. I've advised her to stay away from all incall locations)

[Geezy Muldoon]

(I've figured it out. Allen and SB are the guys who were always in the back of the classroom controlling the flow of notes between urgent sweaty hands and expectant hearts in the Fourth Grade. Now that they've grown up, they've turned that skill for transmitting notes into a vocation.)

[Slinky Bender]

Judge Crater: HI! I'm Mack!

White Hooker: Who the fuck do you think you're kidding?

[BigMadM]

I only want to make one point here.
Why would Ozzy post anyone who sees this girl might feel ripped off.
Thats a horrible thing to post on any girl especially since hes never even seen her.
Shame on you ozzy.
There have been many, many reviews on her, all echoed mine.

Heidi is, and always has been, one of the best looking women in this profession.(ofcourse, just a good looking girl, but since were all talking working girls)
She gives her all every session and everyone that books her loves her. Its that simple.
Her smile, warmth, and skills are not found easily in this profession.

[Geezy Muldoon]

SB:

And if I tried it with a black hooker?

[sean960]

Originally posted by Ozzy
I hate to break the news to you and this is getting to be a waste of time but I'll say it one last time.. you don't have the biggest wallet, dick or personality that Heidi has ever met...... You have the biggest board persona. BMM... you readily admit that you don't spend over a certain price point and often work out multi hr deals with all the girls.... how about the guys who blindly walk in to a room and throw down double or triple a girls normal fee without blinking an eye? So you're not the big free spending cowboy that you think you are. You may spend allot because you do this every day but I'd bet that session by session I out spend you and am more generous to the girls.... And I can also assure you that you are no nicer or less demanding than I am when meeting a girl..... but unless I tell them I'm Ozzy I don't get call backs or treatment any more special than the average schmo.

I guarantee you that if I called as "Ozzy" that I'd get a call back and more… although after trashing her best client that’s probably moot now as well. Oh well..... it's her loss for never seeing me as joe schmo.

Stop the crying,Heidi always calls me back,and I'm just a regular guy(that treats her with respect).

And for the record,I've seen a number of girls that BMM has reviewed and have always received the same treatment.

[sean960]

Originally posted by traderjack09
Happy birthday, and you are still my hero man.

BTW, when are we going for that beer?


I would like in on that one...

[Ozzy]

Originally posted by BigMadM
so I want to know what I posted that Heidi did for me, in any of my reviews, that she didnt do for any customer.......

1) She's not Bi but she ate out her friend for you.

2) She doesn't kiss (at all) but she did it for you.

3) A three-way with Layla and Madison.... Didn't happen for anyone else and Layla has already admitted on this board that you may have gotten special treatment as well as discounts because of who you are "BMM" and the reviews you write (which ultimately mean more business for the agency)

That's three things right off the top of my head.. don't dare me to provide more or to have people step up and fess up about more.

That's what I meant by an inaccurate review.. I NEVER said you lied or that it didn't happen the way you said.

Look bmm you need to take a chill pill..... I NEVER said you lied about anything. I said Kathy ATTEMPTED to send you a girl during non business hours for her agency... because that's what YOU said in your bashing of her. That's A-T-T-E-M-P-T-E-D... That means tried but didn't succeed. She probably couldn't be reached because owners/operators of these agencies sleep until mid afternoon because their normal business hours are what... 8 or 9 pm until 6am? She tried to accommodate you "BMM" for a mid-morning appointment and she failed miserably. But YOU as the great "BMM" absolutely shredded her because this SPECIAL request didn't work out. So you lost $60 and a few hours of your time. So for one fucking morning you didn't get your 3 blowjobs and drop three loads. Did you read JL's post about the tons of money he wasted reading and believing reviews that promised and didn't deliver? The way you reacted I would have thought the girl and her driver walked into the room and put a fucking gun to your head and robbed you. I don't know Kathy from a hole in the wall, nor have I even used her agency... matter of fact (and Slinky can verify this) but I didn't even know Kathy and TENS were one and the same. (Shit! I ******ed him just the other day to ask if Jewel was the owner of hidden hidaway(?)). So I have no reason to defend her or her agency. I thought you took advantage of your powerful board persona to stick it to her (and but good) and her agency for something that wasn't done with intent and surly not with any malice. So that's why I'm a bit pissed off that you decide to use your persona and this board to your advantage when it suits you. You then later in that thread made a vague threat towards Madison or any other agency about how she/they better be on the ball if or when you "BMM" used their agencies or she/they could expect the same trashing that you gave Kathy. You can put any fucking spin on Kathy's reasons for sending YOU, "BMM" a girl during off hours when she's admitted that she never does that and didn't make any SPECIAL plans for being available when she would probably should have in case something went wrong. So she fucked up trying to apease one of UG major contributors.... and you let her know it... You could have made a post that you got stood up after making a special request so that the rest of us would know that Kathy or TENS is not reliable enough to carry thru on such requests... instead you cried like a bitch all over this board for 24 hours before she ever responded. You can sit here until you're blue in the face and never convince me or anyone else with half a brain that you NEED to mention that you are "BMM of UG" in order to clear everyones screening process because we all use the same hookers and agencies and know that to be total bull shit!

You further used your name and this board to request special service from your favorite provider for your birthday while I had my review wacked because the APM knew that I had somewhat special treatment because of my board persona... Treatment that although wasn't at my request was treatment that he knew wasn't available to the people who would be reading it.

I'm not saying that you request it (SFT)... but it certainly does come your way and your posts lately are showing that you are taking advantage of it and passing it along to readers of UG as if they can aquire the same.. and thats simply not the case. I can slap down a few grand and Heidi ain't eating out her friends for me so it's not a matter of money. I can be the sweetest guy in the world and she still ain't kissing me. If it's because you're a special client or a regular than say it.... don't post reviews that will lead people to believe that they can get what you get and don't throw it in our faces.

[Geezy Muldoon]

(I'm still trying to figure out what UG personality I could impersonate during my next session.)

(Kimmie?)

[Ozzy]

Tell you what... Since she already admitted it on the board... What if I had posted a review of the special treatment I got from April before she was ever Samantha Summers.... would that have been right when at the time she wasn't fucking just anyone... or just a few SPECIAL guys?


sean960.. You do one of two things and I'll apologize to you, bmm and the entire fucking board... make a date with Heidi and attempt to stick your tongue down her throat and get her to eat pussy for you.

that or line up a threeway with Layla and one of her girls...


If not than shut the fuck up about my crying. And you've got fucking nerve talking about ME crying when BMM put on that pathetic crying bullshit in his Kathy/TENS review thread... ANd I wasn't even posting when a whole bunch of people told him he'd gone off the deep end on that one so don't defend it as informative either.

[BigMadM]

Originally posted by Ozzy
1) She's not Bi but she ate out her friend for you.

2) She doesn't kiss (at all) but she did it for you.

3) A three-way with Layla and Madison.... Didn't happen for anyone else and Layla has already admitted on this board that you may have gotten special treatment as well as discounts because of who you are "BMM" and the reviews you write (which ultimately mean more business for the agency)

That's three things right off the top of my head.. don't dare me to provide more or to have people step up and fess up about more.



What did I do before april of last year without being a poster.
I dont know, I always got great service from any agency, Including CLPC.when I was just mike.

1.Heidi has experimented with women. Me and Nicky gave her a little push. Nothing special there. I had her with lexi, alot of fondling and touching, but I never understood the 2 girl thing until it was explained that the girls really have to be into each other, and not strangers. They just dont go down on anyone, at least not in the beginning.
2.ARe you sure about kissing? LFK.
3.Yeah, I remember that session. good stuff. That was the last day Madison worked for layla. Discounts from layla?
800 every time I saw a new girl. 100 off from second appt on....everyone got the same deal. Her girls were not looking to lose a nickel.
This could go on, but now I see you only want to discredit me for posting about this girl.
I dont know why the APM would delete your review.
Maybe he knows something.

[BigMadM]

cry like a bitch....i gave the agency until 2 to call me with an explanation. thats 3 hours after appt time...sufficient in my book.
I dont like being fucked over by anyone.

[Happy Hooker]

Originally posted by Judge Crater
(I'm still trying to figure out what UG personality I could impersonate during my next session.)

(Kimmie?)

I hope you swallow.

[sean960]

sean960.. You do one of two things and I'll apologize to you, bmm and the entire fucking board... make a date with Heidi and attempt to stick your tongue down her throat and get her to eat pussy for you.

that or line up a threeway with Layla and one of her girls...


If not than shut the fuck up about my crying. And you've got fucking nerve talking about ME crying when BMM put on that pathetic crying bullshit in his Kathy/TENS review thread... ANd I wasn't even posting when a whole bunch of people told him he'd gone off the deep end on that one so don't defend it as informative either. [/B][/QUOTE]

If you think about it,BMM said it was her first time with another girl,something she didn't just do for him,something that happened because BMM chose to have two girls,instead of just her.She did not make a lifestyle choice just for him,he just provided the opportunity for her to try something I'm sure was in her mind prior,like alot of woman.Also it was discussed many times that she likes LFK,so no suprise there either.
It just kills you that someone else enjoyed their birthday ???
give it a break and let the man enjoy the time he had....

[sean960]

See what you've done,we've be moved to the coliseum !!!!

[BigMadM]

nobody will ever take away that great time I had yesterday.
And as soon as I can do it again, Im booking. both of them.

[BigMadM]

This is exactly what ozzy wanted.
he worked the board again, because this is what he does.
He knew to continue would get this great review out of the ny section.
Ozzy, I now understand the boards workings.
I never understood it until now.

[Ozzy]

You're all stil missing the point.. You can't post reviews and lead people to believe that they will get the same treatment when they won't. Until someone else says that it's now standard service to be expected and that they also got it (and I understand YMMV) than it's an inaccurate review of what the average schmo can expect.

[BigMadM]

You did a good job. Im wondering maybe because youre close connections with someone couldnt get you a freebie with Heidi or maybe a great rate, you decided to attack. Im not as fucking stupid as you think...and every fucking man thats seen Heidi, raves about her.......read the fucking reviews.....

[Ozzy]

Originally posted by BigMadM
This is exactly what ozzy wanted.
he worked the board again, because this is what he does.
He knew to continue would get this great review out of the ny section.
Ozzy, I now understand the boards workings.
I never understood it until now.

You know what BMM NOW YOU"VE GIT ME PISSED.


If you think I'm out to ruin her business or to move her or your reviews off the main boards than your a total fucking moron, and I will personally lobby slinky every fucking time I see him to ban you ass so far from this place it won't be funny when he finally catches on and does it. I am relentless and I will eventually wear him down or pay some girl to give him a blow job that will so blow his mind that he'll eventually do it. That's not much different than you offering him money to kick another prominent post off the boards now is it?

You arogant fucking asshole.

[Ozzy]

Originally posted by BigMadM
You did a good job. Im wondering maybe because youre close connections with someone couldnt get you a freebie with Heidi or maybe a great rate, you decided to attack. Im not as fucking stupid as you think...and every fucking man thats seen Heidi, raves about her.......read the fucking reviews.....

Yeah I read them and they're very mixed.. Shall I go and copy the bad ones (about her standing people up) and paste them here and really ruin her business? Tell me cause I will and it will be on your head when I do.

As far as me ever asking for a freebie or discount you are barking up the wrong tree.. I'm often accused of driving up the price point because of how I tip and take care of the girls....


btw... why haven't you seen a BDJ girl.. I'll tell you and everyone else why.. because they are mostly over you 300 price point (350 and up) and Shauna is too busy booking her girls up weeks in advance to let you nickle and dime her for a discount.
Your fucking with the wrong guy Mike...

[BigMadM]

Do what you gotta do ozzy.
And for you info, I did see one of shuanas girls not too long ago....analynn....and I paid the 3 hour fee of 900...and I had a great fucking time...she was quite striking and a nice lady....
And I tried with "kim" to book on 2 or 3 other times, but the girls didnt check in......i have no agenda here...just to get laid. I wanna try all the girls...

[Ozzy]

In this business she prefers to be known as Shauna so I respect that if you're implying that I don't know who she is... I know "kim" as you refer to her for almost 20 fucking years and long before she was ever in penthouse and became Kimberly... so don't go there either

[Geezy Muldoon]

Originally posted by Happy Hooker
I hope you swallow.

I do and I shall. I've been told a man like me with a "summer" complexion looks best in teal or dark blue. Something mid-calf with a slit perhaps.

Is teal "out?" Your thoughts?

[BigMadM]

when I called that agency, thats who handled my calls.

[pswope]

May I suggest an overnite cooling off period. You've each personalized a pretty meaningless argument and escalated it to ridiculous heights.*

(And I lost a $500 bet that we'd go 2 months without a new thread in the Coliseum)

* possible displaced anger over the likely ouster of Tony Blair?

[Happy Hooker]

Originally posted by Judge Crater
I do and I shall. I've been told a man like me with a "summer" complexion looks best in teal or dark blue. Something mid-calf with a slit perhaps.

Is teal "out?" Your thoughts?


I fine teal on men to be a bit gay. I prefer men in dark colors

Dark blue is very sexy. If I see a man wearing dark blue or black I immediately get the impression they are powerful and intelligent.

I am a tie freak. I love men in ties. Dark blue ties, or ties with an interesting pattern intrigue me, and I can play with them for hours.

I bet you look smashing in a tie, and dark blue. Do you wear ties?

[billyS]

There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of who you are on a whoreboard. The whole reason I joined UG was to become a famous poster so I would get prefered treatment. Every AMP I go into in Flushing I announce "I'm fucking Woody on the Fan". On LI I tell them I'm Genius. At Latin Houses I was jras till he retired, now I'm Daniel_NY. When I'm in Jersey of course I'm Daro. Life is good for us famous posters. For Kimmie I was billys but for greekgirl I was TraderJack. I forgot who I told Sam I was.
Anyone buying this?

[billyS]

Originally posted by Happy Hooker
Dark blue is very sexy. If I see a man wearing dark blue or black I immediately get the impression they are powerful and intelligent.

I am a tie freak. I love men in ties. Dark blue ties, or ties with an interesting pattern intrigue me, and I can play with them for hours.

Next time your on the Island I'll show up with your bagel wearing a dark tie around my cock.

[Bill Furniture]

Originally posted by billyS
There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of who you are on a whoreboard. The whole reason I joined UG was to become a famous poster so I would get prefered treatment. Every AMP I go into in Flushing I announce "I'm fucking Woody on the Fan". On LI I tell them I'm Genius. At Latin Houses I was jras till he retired, now I'm Daniel_NY. When I'm in Jersey of course I'm Daro. Life is good for us famous posters. For Kimmie I was billys but for greekgirl I was TraderJack. I forgot who I told Sam I was.
Anyone buying this?

I'll buy that for a dollar!

[greekgirlinnj]

dammit billys u didnt read my palm..i knew something was up lol...billys guess what..i asked trainer to take new pics for my site and will post on ug..u will see all of dee..the not so flat tummy but has gone down and i cant wait to hear about my stretch marks and the abuse, but i feel great and should turn out good..

i did like the post about u being traderjack pretty funny dude

[justlooking]

I get even more mileage out of telling prostitutes that I'm billyS than I do out of telling them I'm SkellyChamp.

(Unfortunately, every time I tell them I'm Judge Crater, they end up surreptitiously having some guy come in and put me in a straightjacket.)

[greekgirlinnj]

jl

lmao

[Slinky Bender]

Originally posted by Happy Hooker
I fine teal on men to be a bit gay.

A guy tells you he swallows, and you think him wearing teal is "a bit gay"?

[Cloud Nine]

If any women present would be willing to give extras/discounts/freebies to me because I'm Cloud Nine, just let me know. (There even might be a comic strip appearence in it for you too.)

[Cloud Nine]

http://hometown.aol.com/cnine9/images/ozzybmm.jpg

[Cloud Nine]

weird, you cant use the [ img ] function in the coliseum. Same thing happened to the playboy pic in the club A thread.

[BigMadM]

YOu are a funny guy cloud Nine.*
That really wasnt fun, I did not enjoy that entire thread sequence.
I promised myself I would never let anything anyone said on this board get to me personally. I crossed the line, and today rereading it all, ccure is right, the issues a dead horse.

[*********]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
If any women present would be willing to give extras/discounts/freebies to me because I'm Cloud Nine, just let me know. (There even might be a comic strip appearence in it for you too.)

me me me, pick me, I promise you won't be disappointed.

[SkellyChamp]

Originally posted by justlooking
I get even more mileage out of telling prostitutes that I'm billyS than I do out of telling them I'm SkellyChamp.

(Unfortunately, every time I tell them I'm Judge Crater, they end up surreptitiously having some guy come in and put me in a straightjacket.)


I'd be VERY suprised if you got any mileage out of telling them you're me.

When you tell them you're JC, they do that because they go into their prostitute as doctor in a mental institution character so they can get a better understanding of your motivations - the straightjacket soon follows.

[Cloud Nine]

Originally posted by Sexywhore
me me me, pick me, I promise you won't be disappointed.

We have an opening bid.

THe bidding starts at 10% off rack rate and DFK and BBBJTC as extras.

Do I hear 20% and greek at no extra charge?

[Cloud Nine]

No more bids?

I guess I wasnt clear as to what you're getting....

Ladies,
If you bid for my services you will get a multitude of bonuses that your advertising dollar CANNOT buy.

Because you are giving a freebie to the 2398th most respected PMB poster in the Mongomery and Bucks county, Pennsylvania area the review may weigh heavily upon many naieve and unsuspecting johns. I guarantee a highly positive review!

The review will contain such phrases as:

"Playboy material"
"I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasnt dreaming"
"She looked much better than her pictures"
"She was an angel sent straight from heaven into my lap!"
"Treat her nice boys, she's a keeper."
"What was even more amazing was that her service was even better than her looks."
"It was the best BBBJ I ever had and I have had alot."
"She swallowed every drop"
"She was both a PSE AND a GFE."
"At first I was going to keep her for myself, but I just had to share."
"Her pussy was the tightest I ever had."
"I made her come five times with my DATY skills and she wasnt faking it."
"She loved having sex and it showed"
"Her pussy had a fresh sweet taste"
"I thought I died and went to heaven"

But wait there's more!

Not only will you get an appearance in a Cloud Nine Comic, a glowing review from a well respected PMB poster, but you will also get a john that gives you flowers, perfumes and chocolates! Yes, that's right! Act now and you will get a wooing session for free!* Not only that, I am pretty lame in the sack and usually only can get it up for one pop (2 on rare occasions, when Im extra randy) so you dont even have to work that hard! Plus I am a "charmer" in the Judge's john categorization schemes, so I waste precious session time on trying to impress you with my awful jokes.

So don't delay, operators are standing by!





* Void pierce or stalking is an extra charge.

[*********]

uh huh yes baby yes all that & whatever it takes to make you happy.

You are my MASTER, I'm your humble slave.

[Geezy Muldoon]

HH:

I do look smashing in ties. I've got a collection of old fashioned regimental ties that I am exceptionally fond of. Since hvb proclaimed her opinion that I'm gay, I've decided to be gay for awhile to expand my writing.

jl:

Do you know how to get out of a straitjacket without assistance? If you are to impersonate me, you'll have to learn how. It requires a certain flexibility.

Helpful hint for successfully impersonating JC: Burst out laughing for no apparent reason prior to, during and after your sessions.

[fallenwoman]

"A guy tells you he swallows, and you think him wearing teal is "a bit gay"?"-SB

"Helpful hint for successfully impersonating JC: Burst out laughing for no apparent reason prior to, during and after your sessions."-JC

These two statements are the reason I keep coming back to UG over and over. I'd addicted to nuttiness like this. Fucking lunatics!
my 2 1/2 cents,
f to the w

[Casper]

Ana Banana... Welcome to Silver.. Keep on keepin on.

[heidi]

What do you consider speciall treatment? and I have never seen you, so why would you complain that I don't give anyone the treatment?

[jseah]

Originally posted by Cloud Nine
No more bids?

I guess I wasnt clear as to what you're getting....

Ladies,
If you bid for my services you will get a multitude of bonuses that your advertising dollar CANNOT buy.

Because you are giving a freebie to the 2398th most respected PMB poster in the Mongomery and Bucks county, Pennsylvania area the review may weigh heavily upon many naieve and unsuspecting johns. I guarantee a highly positive review!

The review will contain such phrases as:

"Playboy material"
"I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasnt dreaming"
"She looked much better than her pictures"
"She was an angel sent straight from heaven into my lap!"
"Treat her nice boys, she's a keeper."
"What was even more amazing was that her service was even better than her looks."
"It was the best BBBJ I ever had and I have had alot."
"She swallowed every drop"
"She was both a PSE AND a GFE."
"At first I was going to keep her for myself, but I just had to share."
"Her pussy was the tightest I ever had."
"I made her come five times with my DATY skills and she wasnt faking it."
"She loved having sex and it showed"
"Her pussy had a fresh sweet taste"
"I thought I died and went to heaven"

But wait there's more!

Not only will you get an appearance in a Cloud Nine Comic, a glowing review from a well respected PMB poster, but you will also get a john that gives you flowers, perfumes and chocolates! Yes, that's right! Act now and you will get a wooing session for free!* Not only that, I am pretty lame in the sack and usually only can get it up for one pop (2 on rare occasions, when Im extra randy) so you dont even have to work that hard! Plus I am a "charmer" in the Judge's john categorization schemes, so I waste precious session time on trying to impress you with my awful jokes.

So don't delay, operators are standing by!





* Void pierce or stalking is an extra charge.

THIS is funny.....LOL :D

I keep getting an image of the Crazy Eddie announcer making the pitch......

[Happy Hooker]

ah fuck it. He said I have a sexy voice..



pick me!! pick me!!

[bobo529]

How about we have BMM & Ozzy get in the ring for a charity boxing event? Say $20 a ticket. All proceeds go to the winner's choice of charitable organization. And no Julie's is not qualified 501(c)3 organization, sorry Bill F.

[h. von bingen]

Originally posted by Judge Crater
I do look smashing in ties. I've got a collection of old fashioned regimental ties that I am exceptionally fond of. Since hvb proclaimed her opinion that I'm gay, I've decided to be gay for awhile to expand my writing.


roman soldier short haircut AND regimental tie? u'd be the pinup boy of the year at the crowbar. now, wax ALL yr body hair.

he's got a look,
hvb

[Geezy Muldoon]

Even though I started shaving when I was 13, I never had any body hair. Only know that I'm older has the hair started growing just a small bit on my chest, thighs and back. I'm kind of suprised that it ever happened. And I'm keeping it.

[SkellyChamp]

Yeah but you really know that you're getting older when you have to spend more time on the nose and ear hairs.

[Geezy Muldoon]

Ditto. Just this morning my wife insisted on trimming my nose and ear hairs before I left the house. I'd look disgusting if it weren't for her.

[Slinky Bender]

Gallagher said that men don't lose thier hair after 40. It just stops growing out of the top of thier heads, and out of thier ears and noses.

[robnotbob]

Bite your tongue. My b-day is this weekend...plenty o'hair on top, thanks the good Lord....

[BigMadM]

happy bday rnb.....the eyes go first, so you wont notice the hair loss.

[robnotbob]

well, that's true...

[Casper]

Till 40? Shit I'm ahead of the curve. And all this time I thought I was a late bloomer.

[*********]

Originally posted by Happy Hooker
ah fuck it. He said I have a sexy voice..



pick me!! pick me!!

C9, why don't you pick both HH & myself and see us at the same time. Perfect compromise.

[sod]

Originally posted by slinkybender
Gallagher said that men don't lose thier hair after 40. It just stops growing out of the top of thier heads, and out of thier ears and noses.


And I thought I knew you. Quoting Gallagher?

[justme]

sod - beat me to the punch

C9 - just when I thought you were starting to get edged out by metellier...

Oz - I know what you're trying to say, but the message is getting lost in the delivery. Relax.

(On the other hand, it's hard to decide whether the implication that Oz made his posts to sabatoge a good review is more ludicrously ridiculous or baselesly insulting.)

[Cloud Nine]

Originally posted by justme
C9 - just when I thought you were starting to get edged out by metellier...


Your lack of faith is disappointing.

BTW- Who the hell is metellier?

[Cloud Nine]

Never mind I did a search.

He seems to only post in the spa section and I rarely read that. Plus not even silver yet. (altho, the muther fucka has a goddamned tag and I dont!!!)

(sigh)

I feel like Rodney Dangerfield.

[justme]

Get yourself kicked off the board, suck your way back, maybe that'll help.

[Cloud Nine]

nah too easy.

Besides all that did for Ozzy was get his tag removed!

I want to see how much "power" I have on this board. I may threaten to stop posting unless I get a tag. See how many e*mails slinky gets.*




(ahh, who the fuck am I kidding, for one I'm too addicted to posting and two- he'll get more *****s commending him for the good job.)

[occasionalhobbyist]

Boy. Miss a couple of months, miss a lot...

JC, if you've been having strange dreams at night, I've been asking whores from NYC to Boston to conjure you in our sessions. Many violent deaths, but at least I haven't been stoic about it.

The dialogue looks great, by the way.

So, when's the steel cage match?

I used to wince when I read Ozzy's posts. Once upon a time. Now, I find his passion for right and justice positively inspiring. I think I'll move to Waterbury and run for Mayor.

By the way, I do find it annoying that there is so much goddamned traffic about what a great fuck Heidi is, yet she never returned my phone calls or *****s when I inquired of her re: services. So, in my view, just getting a fucking phone call returned might constitute special fucking treatment.

Guess I should'a said I was Judge Crater. (If you know how to dislocate your shoulder, by the way, they come right off.)

[Geezy Muldoon]

OH:

Sorry to hear about your arm being dislocated. Happened once to me playing football. It's not fun.

I'm too detached for whores to easily recycle me for use in another john's session. They only get to recycle what they thought they saw. I'm always somewhere else watching them watch me.

This, of course, leaves me freer to see who's there in the crowd to chat up once I'm back in the room with the rest of the johns waiting to get recycled or murdered.

Glad to read that you haven't contented yourself with being a Stoic. It takes much more imagination to play the other Characters. We must always expand our range as actors and learn to be flexible.

What's the steel cage match?




Best, etc.


Judge Crater

[occasionalhobbyist]

Steel cage match would be the proper 21st century way to settle the dispute between Ozzy and BMM. Tho' it seems to me that Ozzy has settled it in another thread. (So much reading to catch up on...)

My arm wasn't dislocated, but I do understand that it helps to be able to do so when wriggling out of a straightjacket.

Could'a sworn you made a run headfirst through a plate glass window during a session a few weeks ago, but the subconscious does play tricks on me these days.

Best,
OH

[Geezy Muldoon]

OH:

You are referring to my Houdini routine. I'm working on a bit featuring that. I'll post it in the Mrs. Chong's Debut thread when it's done.

As for the plate glass, the catatonics who were with me in that session were a bunch of wimp good for nothings that couldn't dance worth a shit.

Needless to say, I had to make a quick exit when those randy looking football players got up out of their chairs and headed for us. Lord knows, what happened to the catatonics.

Best, etc.


Judge Crater




PS: Was that your wife in that session or an old girlfriend?

[occasionalhobbyist]

JC:

My wife is in every session. She's usually boasting to everyone in earshot about how I used to go for multi-day sessions, with endless erections and a bottomless well of energy.

Saturday night, when I couldn't manage to keep it up with a tall ***** lass with soft skin and perky breasts, she pulled a Rob Roy on all the catatonics and screamed at me to get it up. I dropped the Lover I'd been stupidly attempting, became a Master and finished the deed.

Nothing like the wife's embarrassment to bring things to a head.

Best,
OH

[Geezy Muldoon]

OH:

The ability of wives to make themselves useful at the oddest of moments never ceases to amaze me.

Glad to hear you characterizations are becoming more flexible. I often switch role mid-play. It confuses the shit out of the prostitutes.

So who was the Celtic doxie? I'm starting to slobber all over myself in anticipation.


JC

[elliot16]

Originally posted by occasionalhobbyist
By the way, I do find it annoying that there is so much goddamned traffic about what a great fuck Heidi is, yet she never returned my phone calls or *****s when I inquired of her re: services. So, in my view, just getting a fucking phone call returned might constitute special fucking treatment.

Guess I should'a said I was Judge Crater.

Don't feel bad, many have suffered the same fate as you have. Let's just say that some very excellent providers are just too challenged by the independant escort lifestyle to function "normally".

[occasionalhobbyist]

JC: Sorry to have ignored.

A bait shack 'ho house in the upper 90s on the east side. check the village voice for samantha and friends. ask if carrie is there.

i'm not proud; this was econohomizing. It was $140 for the 1/2, plus tip.

[Geezy Muldoon]

Yeah. A cheap Celtic lassie. Did she come with french fries? I don't need the baked potato all the time.

[occasionalhobbyist]

With little foil packets of ketchup.

[BigMadM]

I would like to get the same b-day present again this year.
I wont post about it.

[h. von bingen]

could we redecorate here? i'd like more tiberius on the isle of capri rather than caesar's palace las vegas.